31 Days :: Live At Peace

My van is a the most argument festering place on the planet. I swear, my kids can be happy as larks, but the second I hear seat belts buckle, little claws come out and tiny fangs descend.

~ His feet are on my chair. ~ He's pulling my seat belt. ~ Mom, he won't stop singing. ~ I had that book first. ~ I don't want that song. ~ I do want that song. ~He interrupted me. ~ He still won't stop singing.

{Sigh}

I'm telling you, if you'd like a crash course on family cohesiveness or working through relational strife, just hop in the van with my family and ride. For a long time.

Or not a long time...two nights ago, we were pulling out of our subdivision -less than a half mile from my driving way. I had barely even turned my blinker on when I heard, "Ahhh! Waaahhhhh! Mommmyy!"

I turn to see my five-year-old swatting his quick, little hand at his three-year-old brother. And growling. Yes, growling.

"Ethan? What is going on?"

"Well, Luke was spitting at me. I wanted him to stop."

"Buddy, if he's spitting at you, then tell me. I will make sure he stops. If you start swatting at him, then we have two problems. Spitting and swatting."

"But he was being mean to me."

"The Bible says as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18) It doesn't matter if he is spitting or hitting or swatting, as far as it depends on you - live at peace with your brother. You are only in charge on you. Yes Ma'am?"

Long pause. Then a small, "Yes, Ma'am."

I couldn't help but think how much I relate to Ethan. When the world starts spitting at me, I start to swat and growl and try to fix things myself. When really all I need to do is call on my Daddy to intervene. And live at peace.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

To celebrate October, enjoy a few festive pics. These have nothing to do with anything. I. Just. Love. Fall.
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31 Days :: A Discipline Tool

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

This week we have prayerfully considered what the Lord would have for our new Crenshaw Family Rules. All together, the four rules are...

1. Obey Quickly and Completely
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Ephesians 6:1

2. Honor Each Other
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10

3. Be Agreeable
Do all things without grumbling or questioning. Philippians 2:14

4. Do Hard Things
Act like men and be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

Have you been thinking on your family rules? If so, share with us! I want to learn from you!

I also thought it appropriate to revise an old post on our system on discipline around here. It is not foolproof and we are not always consisitant, but this is what we strive to do.

Not long ago, I sat in Brent's grandmother's kitchen as she told me how she (very impressively) raised five children on one system of discipline.

"The Token Board"

I could picture her homemade board as she described a simple piece of wood. Five nails. And several tokens for each child.

Mema's system? If a child disobeyed, they removed a token. If they lost all tokens....a spankin' from Pepaw. As simple as that.

She said she used it for years and it worked well.

And what's good enough for Mema is good enough for me. So off to work I went.


I bought these little boards at A.C.Moore. I think they cost $1.79. It took me all of 10 minutes to get my paint supplies out and give them a few strokes.

I had to nail little metal hangers on the back (not pictured). We had some from old picture frames, but you can buy them at Lowe's or maybe even Wal-Mart.


These are just basic nails. I did spray paint them black, but you don't have to do that. The tokens came from Staples. They are called "Key Tags" for your shopping knowledge.

I bought a paint pen from A.C. Moore. I was going to use a Sharpie, but it just didn't look right. This is when I wish my handwriting had graduated from middle school. But oh well. It looks fine.


Here's our system:
*Each child starts the week with five tokens.

*Each token is worth 50 cents.

*At the end of the week, they are rewarded for each token kept.

The reason we did it this way is because they want a little "treat" when we go to Target or Wal-mart or Weigel's. This gives them the opportunity to buy their own snacks with their own money. The money is theirs to spend how they wish. But you could choose whatever would bless your kiddos the most. Ice Cream on Saturday night. An extra hour of Wii. Etc...

Removing Tokens:
* When a family rule is broken, they remove a token and place it on the spare nail.

*If all five tokens are lost, they receive a spanking from Daddy.

Earning tokens back:
*Sometimes I will "catch them" doing something above and beyond (taking initiative, helping out without being asked, etc) and I will give them a token as a special reward. However, earning Tokens back is not something we do everyday.

So far it has worked great. Of course there are always gray areas. The other day, Grant's behavior was far beyond the token board. He did receive a spanking. Of course he cried "Can't I just loose a token?!" Umm no. Some things (a.k.a. hitting your brother) are more serious than a token.

I am no expert. And your opinions may vary on all of this. That's OK. I just wanted to share. The Lord has entrusted your children to you. He will direct you on what discipline is best for your children.

Brent and I want to focus on delighting in our children first. It is so easy to focus on discipline discipline discipline. I can be very hard on my boys. :(

The Lord delights in us. He enjoys us. His motivation for us is LOVE. He disciplines us out of a position of LOVE.

Let us as parents delight in our children. Enjoy them. And, like our Father, discipline out of LOVE.

What do you think?

31 Days :: ἀνδρίζομαι

Today's guest post is by Brent Crenshaw (my much better half)

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

ἀνδρίζομαι

Surprisingly, there are only a couple of verses in the Bible that exhort men to be men. In 1 Kings 2:1-3 as David is on his deathbed, he instructs his son Solomon to "be strong and show yourself a man." Similarly, in the New Testament, Paul instructs the Corinthians to be watchful, stand firm in the faith, ACT LIKE MEN, be strong. The Greek phrase for "act like men" is just one word, Andrizomai. Doesn't it sound manly? ANDRIZOMAI! As if it should be yelled in every guy movie ever made ... especially Braveheart.

Some translate Andrizomai as "playing the man." But at the end of the day, the truest sense of the word means to be courageous.

There are plenty of times when being manly isn't about having the answer or the right skills. Being a man isn't just the ability to fix the car or the kitchen sink. It isn't even being able to fix the hurts or the tears. Being a man means playing the part and not being passive. Sometimes just showing up and taking initiative is sufficient.

While I believe Paul is exhorting courage in both men and women, for now Becky and I are responsible for three little boys. Our prayer is that our sons would grow into manhood doing the hard thing, fighting against passivity, willingly taking initiative and living in courage.

As Grant, Ethan and Luke enter deeper into boyhood we've adopted Paul's instruction to the Corinthians as our final family rule.

Rule #4 Do Hard Things
Act like men and be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

God wants us to press into what is difficult. Hero after hero in God's Word did hard things. Noah, Joshua, David, Samuel, John the Baptist, and ultimately Jesus, who gave the greatest sacrifice, they all did what was hard.

God trains his soldiers to be fearless, strong and courageous. Not passive. Or lazy.

Do Hard Things. Take initiative. Be strong. And act like men.

Andrizomai,
Brent