Play Hard In The Water

I could kill any plant.  Even a cactus is not safe with me.

I'm not the neighbor you ask to water your garden while on vacation.  Come to think of it...no one does. (smile)

But this spring, I had my heart set on a beautiful front porch.  I dreamed of draping petunias flowing over white flower boxes.  I made Pintrest boards and googled landscaping arrangements for flowerbeds.  I searched and searched for colors and set a gardening budget.

I bought spray paint and gave old pots fresh faces.

Long and hard hours brought life and color to my front porch.  I was proud of my Zebra petunias, pink begonias and marigolds.  Fresh Basil and mint.  Mmm.  My porch spoke of spring.

But between then and now,  I forgot something a little important.

Water.

Yes, I know.

Now, in my own defense...the back yard is doing just fine.  (I even have a little veggie garden - proud grin) but the front porch.  Bless it's heart.

O LORD, the hope of Isreal, all who forsake you shall be put to shame; those who forsake you shall be written in the earth for they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living water. Jeremiah 17:13

Jesus spoke to a deep place on Saturday as the brown leaves of my petunias frowned from neglect.

Water them, Becky.  There is still life there.

Can't you see yourself in these pots, Becky?  Do you see it?  Do not forsake Me.  Your leaves will surly whither.  Come to the Fountain.  Every. Single. Day.

Yes Sir.

There are seasons that our plans for spiritual growth start big.  After cold winters, aren't we ready to start fresh? We scan bookstore shelves for new books and journals.  We sign up for studies.  We buy fresh soil and lay out our spring designs.

We spend hours digging and planting.  And God breaths life and beauty into our home.  Growth begins.  Our hearts change.  

But when the heat of summer comes, we lose gusto.  Watering our spiritual gardens becomes an every other day affair.  Maybe we get busy and forget the crucial ingredient of growth....WATER.

By 3 o'clock the sun is hot and over head.  The kids have worn us down.  The boss is on our tail.  The deadline has come.  Or that co-worker.  Oh, that co-worker. 

And then it is too late. Our soil is dry and our leaves droop south.

Are you feeling me on this?

The Lord - a fountain of Living Water.

"Living" as used here in Jeremiah means ALIVE

a) green 

b) flowing, fresh

c) lively, active

d) reviving

This is offered to us.  Every. Single. Day.

He is an endless wealth of Life! 


Flowing, fresh, lively, active, reviving FOUNTAINS of LIVING WATER.

It doesn't matter how brown your heart feels.  Or how south your leaves droop.

There is still life there.  

It just needs water.

I am committed to my front porch... again.  And I invite you to hold me accountable.

Here are pictures...(gulp - swallowing pride)

I am committed to these pitiful little guys.  The Lord has a lesson for me here.  A parallel to show.

Every. Single. Day.  They will be watered.  Every. Single. Day.  They need attention.

I am committed.

In the meantime, go and enjoy your Source of true Life.  

Put your swimmies on and play hard in His streams of Living Water today.

Bootcamp...for my soul

At the YMCA there is a class called Ultimately Fit.

Picture Bootcamp meets Crossfit meets Jillian Michaels.

Intense.

I am amazed by the amount of women and men who show up for this torture...ahem, workout. The house is packed...sweaty people flipping tractor tires, hopping on over-sized boxes, sprinting steep hills and swinging Kettlebells. I love to watch their determination. And ferocity.

They come in as suburban stay-at-home moms and professional business men, and leave as wild animals.

In response to the Lord's unction, I signed off from a Cup of Joe the past five weeks. My thoughts, "Mmmm Lord, just the two of us. Heart to heart talks over coffee, maybe I'll memorize a new passage of scripture. Pray more intentionally for my boys. I can sing little melodies to you in worship and bask in Your presence. It will a little retreat every morning. You and me."

Sounds lovely.

Well.

I would say the past five weeks likened more to Ultimate Fit.

But for my soul.

He's had me turning over large stones inside my heart, revealing hurts and sin left untouched for years. I've hopped over big hurdles, landing some days on my face some days on my feet. Instead of gentle heart to hearts over coffee, it's been more He talks, I listen. Instead of quietly praying over my boys, He has given me a front and center seat into their hearts, all yucky with sin and rebellion. My little men who just need Jesus. Led by a mommy and daddy who just need Jesus, too. Everyday. More Jesus.

I have sang songs to Him. Some days through tears. Some days by obedience. Not always feeling it at first.

And some days not at all.

I wasn't expecting it...this Bootcamp for my soul.

We've worked through...
Money stuff.
Marriage stuff.
Friendship stuff.
Feeling fat stuff.
Failure stuff.
"I'm a bad mommy" stuff.
Boundaries stuff.

Unforgiveness stuff. (Lots of unforgiveness stuff)

And you know what?

I have loved it.

My child, don't make light of the Lord's discipline, and don't give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves...No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:5,6 & 11

Discipline (paideuo): to train children; to be instructed or taught or learn; to chastise or castigate with words, to correct; of those who are moulding the character of others by reproof and admonition; as of God - to chasten by the affliction of evils and calamities

Training - He does this. Molds us. Chastens us. Reproves us.

Because He loves us...as children.

So though painful, it is a privilege to undergo His discipline. (Would someone help my boys understand this?!)

And I can see the harvest coming in. His discipline producing pleasing fields of passion and obedience. Favor. Joy. Forgiveness.

Vision.

I went in as a tired suburban mommy - a bit dry and restless.

But I'm coming out transformed and throwin' punches. Fired up. Eager. Raw. Ready. Hungry.

And expectant.

So thank you for checking in and coming back. I pray your Easter Sunday was worshipful and renewing.

Here are my people in their Easter-y attire (as this picture is very reflective of how much Luke loves being in nice clothes. If it doesn't have Thomas the Train on it, he isn't interested. But with much bribing, we managed for a few hours. And if I am being honest, I am elbowing Grant in hopes to stop his impulse to give me bunny ears or make googly eyes. {grin} Just keeping it real.)


Lord, thank you for this sweet Monday. It is a gift. A day that I have looked forward to for five weeks. I lay this blog down at your feet. Use it. It is yours. I am yours. We are yours. It is a privilege to serve you. Show us your Glory today. Even if through discipline and hardship...show us Yourself. Let us be sensitive and aware of Your presence today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Too Connected...We're Disconnected?

Tuesday night Brent and I tucked the boys into bed and began settling into our evening routine. I popped our usual bowls of popcorn and turned the TV on for The Biggest Loser (whoop whoop!). Brent needed to download a few songs on ITunes, so his laptop was up and running. He sat with his computer open on his lap, head phones in his ears and the Ipod nearby ready to load. I needed to catch up on a few emails during commercials so I set my Netbook on the end table beside my spot on the couch. My cell phone chimed informing me of a new text message, so I grabbed my phone and began replying back to my friend.

We heard footsteps on the stairs. Then a little voice, "Man, there's a lot of technology going on down here. So much light and electricity."

Grant. Wasn't he asleep?

I walked him back to bed, tucked him in once more then sat down at my place on the couch.

Just called out by my own son.

"Is this what my boys will remember of their parents? Mom and Dad on separate ends of the couch totally enthralled in technology?"


Is this the new "My Dad read the newspaper all the time" memory? Or the the "I don't remember my mom and dad ever kissing" memory? I have those memories from childhood. Do you?

Gosh, I love Brent. Oh. My. Word. Yes. We have a great marriage. Really. Tuesday evening wasn't a true representation of our relationship or our hearts for each other. Yet, try telling that to my eight-year-old who will only remember what he remembers. Amen?

That dern Internet. I have such a love/hate affair with it. Such a blessing yet such a distraction. It both sucks life and brings it.

What if Grant had walked downstairs to find his parents in the middle of the couch together, sharing a bowl of popcorn and talking. Or even seeing his mom and dad sharing a big blanket reading our own books quietly. Less noise. Less "light and electricity." What if turning off all of the technology let Brent and me make a little electricity of our own. Oh yes, I just typed that. Isn't it so TRUE?

Are we so connected that we are disconnected?

Disconnected from the Lord and each other?

Oh, how the Spirit has been talking about this. For sometime now. I find it funny God will finally grab my attention through an 8-year-old little boy.

Lately, I've been drawn to scripture about silence. To scriptures about drawing near. I am led to books about silence. And drawing near. I want to discipline myself in the art of quiet. And strengthen my ear's Holy listening.

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

During this season of Advent, I have thought much on "quiet". Can you imagine the 400 year period of God's silence? Geez, that must have been excruciating. But hindsight we all know that this period was a good thing. We know now that the redemptive sound of a baby's cry would soon break the silence. The gentle coos of our Savior, pleading us to come. To draw near.

Silence meant preparation. Silence increased the hunger of God's people.

Silence draws us nearer to our God.

I will do anything it takes to draw nearer to Him. Less noise. Less light. Less electricity. Even if it means shutting down this blog for a season (gasp)...I will do it. (Although I'm not excited about the idea of that. I love this thing. Too much, I know.)

So. There you have it. The rantings of a tech-junky. Confessions of the "too connected".

This Advent, let us pull away and unplug a bit. Silencing our lives - as if embracing the bundle of a new born babe. Let us draw near our hearts and stare and the face of the One who came to save us.

Let us all disconnect, so we can reconnect to the Light.

The Light of the World.

Flying Off The Handle

I had every intention of writing a different post today. I even started typing it.

But the Lord whispered in my soul...You're ignoring me.

So here the deal. What is it with me and anger lately?

A few nights ago, I went to visit a friend. We sat on her front porch watching our kids climb a Magnolia tree and play a game of kickball.

Something struck me about my friend's interaction with her children. She talked to her kids. Yes, when she needed to correct them, she talked to them. Notice the "to them."

I, on the other hand, talk at my children. My friend dialogued with her kids when giving instruction. I, however, monologue with my children. One-sided. "This is what you do. This is how you do it. Get it? Got it? Good.

I don't know if it is me being t.i.r.e.d. or maybe p.m.s. I could be just flat out crabby. Nevertheless, I've recently been short-tempered and flying off the handle at my boys.

Here's the deal with anger...

1. My boys will learn these same behaviors from me - yikes. (Proverbs 22:24)
2. I demonstrate foolishness. (Proverbs 14:29)
3. I stir up strife. (Proverbs 29:22)
4. I'm brought to shame. (Proverbs 25:8)
5. You shouldn't really be my friend. (Proverbs 22:24)
6. Anger just leads to more quarrels. (Proverbs 17:14)

I'm not writing this to be down on myself. I writing this to be honest with myself. And honest with you and with the Lord. I am in agreement that I can not display outbursts of anger at my children. They are little people. Not sounding boards. They deserve to be talked to...not talked at...and fussed at....and, even worse, yelled at.

I am in agreement with God and His Word that anger is for the birds.

Know this my beloved brothers (and sisters); let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:20

I might need a tattoo.

"Be quick to hear." My eight-year-old has said 1,000 times, "Mom, you didn't let me finish what I was saying."

He is right. I am too busy talking at him. Ugh.

Lord Jesus, your Holy Spirit lives within me. You are my Helper (John 14:26). Help me operate in self-control. I can do anything with You. Nothing is too difficult.

Here are the benefits of controlling my anger:

1. I have great understanding (Proverbs 14:29)
2. I can quiet contention - nice. (Proverbs 15:18)
3. Ceasing from anger is honored (Proverbs 20:3)
4. I will inherit the earth - no kidding. There is blessing in obedience. Think about Joseph. His brothers threw him under the bus, selling him into slavery, but his lack of anger led him to prosperity for himself and an entire nation. (Psalm 37:9, Gen 45, 50:15-21).

Thanks for listening as I process.

Do you relate to this in anyway?

More verses I need on the tablet of my heart... Have a blessed day.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Hallways of Regret: A Guest Post

As I am planning for an upcoming speaking event, my dear friend Sue has been gracious enough to guest post on Cup Of Joe today. Full of the Holy Spirit, wife and mom of three, Sue writes an incredible blog at LivingFreeInHim.blogspot.com. This post, Hallways of Regret, spoke to quiet places in my heart. Have a great day my friends. I am so glad that we are Living Free In Him today. - Becky

Hallways of Regret

Last weekend, I went to a play at my old high school. Nineteen years have passed since I last walked those hallways.

Emotions stirred up in me as I opened the once familiar door. Ahead was a long hall full of past memorabilia with cases of trophies and plaques covering the walls. Countless basketball, football, track, tennis team pictures from the 1960's to present lined the hallway. As I walked a few steps, I saw the band room door. That had been where I had spent a majority of my high school years.

High school should be some of the best times and happiest memories of childhood. For me, looking back can be painful. God has healed me and redeemed my past, but memories did haunt me as I stood there in that hallway looking in the gym. Writing this is even difficult because I don't like looking back. There were some fun times, but the bad decisions I made and the people I hurt overshadow the fun times.

I know, I know...don't regret, you wouldn't be the same person you are today if you hadn't made those mistakes. Maybe not, but I still regret. I still wish I would have made better choices. I know I can't go back and change the past, but I wish I could.

Although going back in time isn't an option, God is so good and He makes all things new. We just have to choose to follow Him. His path leads to restoration.

And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. Isaiah 61:4

It doesn't matter if your family has a history of pain, regret, or shame. When you received the Lord, you entered into a new family.....a family of hope, healing, life, joy, peace. God wants you to have a beautiful life, and you have the opportunity to change the history of your family for the generations to follow! How incredible is that!

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.

Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice;

I hate robbery for sacrifice; I will direct their work in truth, and will make with them an everlasting covenant.

Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people.

All who see them shall acknowledge them, That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed. Isaiah 61: 7-8

The Lord wants to restore our broken past and rebuild our broken dreams. When the Lord restores, others notice a difference. We get a beautiful life and God gets the glory.

Everyday we are faced with hallways. We get to choose which hallway we will go down:



Hallway of Rebellion: Rebellion leads to regret. When we do not follow the Lord, when we choose rebellion and to follow our flesh, we will not like the end result. Our flesh may like it temporarily and we may feel justified in the moment, but the pain of regret will come.

The whole book of Isaiah is an example of this....the Isrealites rebelled against the Lord and the Lord pleaded with them to return to Him. Their rebellion led to their captivity. Sustained rebellion always leads to captivity.

This past week, I struggled with rebellion. It was in the area of following authority. My flesh wanted to do one thing, but the Lord kept whispering rebellion leads to regret. I wish I could say I did the right thing all the time. I did listen to the Lord eventually, I am so thankful for His mercy.

Hallway of Righteousness: Righteousness has a funny ring to it. It seems unattainable, but it is ours. Jesus Christ has made us righteous. When we rebel we are actually rebelling against who we are in Christ.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, My soul shall be joyful in my God;

For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness. ( I love that!)

As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the earth brings forth its bud, As the garden causes things that are sown in it to spring forth, So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
Isaiah 61: 10-11

So, if rebellion leads to regret, what does righteousness lead to?

Righteousness leads to reaching. When we display the character of Christ, when we act like Christ, we draw others to Him. When we rebel, we damage our witness.

Everyday we have the opportunity to decide which hallway we will go down. It doesn't matter where we have walked in the past. Our past does not determine our destiny. We are not defined by our past mistakes. We may regret some of them, but that regret can be turned into restoration. God takes our old ruins and rebuilds them into something beautiful for Him.

Which hallway will you choose today? Do you also have a something in your past that you regret? Will you give it to the Lord? He gives us comfort for mourning, beauty for ashes, joy for despair, praise instead of a spirit of heaviness.....will you also let Him give you restoration for regret?

-Sue @ LivingFreeInHim.blogspot.com

Pursuing Intimacy

"Arise, shake thyself from the dust, and put on thy beautiful garments. Remember it is sinful to doubt his Word wherein he has promised thee that thou shalt never perish. Let the eternal life within thee express itself in confident rejoicing." - C. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

I had every intention of blogging today about my new discipline tool for the boys. But, again, that's just not where my heart is. Maybe I will write about that next time.

Or maybe not. We'll see.

No, today the Spirit is teaching me and it is fresh. Hot off the press.

Oh, how the Word of God speaks.

God speaks to His people through His Word. Period.

Think about that. The LIVING GOD will speak to YOU.

Why wouldn't we pursue that like crazy?

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

This book is alive. It is sharp. It penetrates our soul. It judges our thoughts and attitudes. It addresses our hearts.

I think that's my answer....Why wouldn't we pursue His Word?

Because exposure can be a scary thing. And no one really likes to be exposed.

But listen, His grace abounds in that place of exposure.

Lately, my heart needs some addressing. And exposing.

On Tuesday, I was on the phone with my mentor. I was telling her how much I've struggled recently with the Mamaw situation. I shared how hard it has been to keep up with my "normal" life (that is relative) as a wife and mother of three and then add all that comes with a heightened situation of elderly care.

She asked, "Has something changed with you spiritually, Becky?"

I thought for a second.

No, nothing has changed spiritually.

And therein lies my problem.

Nothing has changed spiritually, but everything has changed circumstantially.

My external climate has elevated, but my spiritual climate has remained the same.

Do you see my problem? I haven't gone backwards spiritually. But I haven't pressed the gas either.

I'm like a parked car. When the car beside me pulls forward it gives the sensation of backward movement. I haven't moved, but everything around me is pulling forward.

I must press in to Jesus. Rekindled a fresh intimacy.

And I use "intimacy" very intentionally here. This is what I need.

Intimacy: something of a personal or private nature

The Lord and I need a private place, just the two of us. To rekindle the flame. To ignite intimacy between the two of us.

Brent and I went overnight for our anniversary. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast not far from our house. No one was there. No little boys. No other guests. No Inn keeper.



And no Internet.

The latter was the best of all.

As thankful as I am for the Internet, it can be such a distraction.

Isn't it time to press forward? To separate ourselves from the hustle in order to pursue intimacy with the Lord?

A time to arise. To shake off the dust, as Spurgeon says.



If so, let us close our computers and open His love letter to us.

Don't be afraid of what it will expose. Don't be overwhelmed its volume.

He will meet you there.

Right now.

Open the Word.

He is waiting.

Thankful For Discipline?

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor did a series on The Lord's Discipline: The Gracious Gift That Nobody Wants.

He said, "if I sat in a room with a hundred people and asked the question,What are you grateful for today?, people would go on and on talking of the Lord's blessing and favor. His healing and provision. But it would be hours, if ever, that someone would say, 'I am thankful for the discipline of the Lord.'"

My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? Hebrews 12:5-7

Discipline: God as Father, chastening or training men as children by afflictions.

Hello. My name is Becky Crenshaw. And I am thankful for the Lord's discipline.

Why am I thankful? Because this verse tells me that God is treating me as His child. This week, there is NO DOUBT that I am accepted and loved by God.

Ted Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child's Heart, tells a story of one day being in line behind two men. These two gentlemen were talking about child-rearing. One dad said, "I hesitate to discipline my son. I don't want him thinking I don't love him." Ted Tripp wanted to scream...DISCIPLINING YOUR SON SHOWS HIM THAT YOU DO LOVE HIM!

Same goes with our Heavenly Father.

God "disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Hebrews 12:10

The reward for my discipline is holiness? For real God? O.K., I'll take it.

What is going on with me you wonder? Well, without going all into it, which isn't necessary, I will say that I have a heart issue more than a behavior mishap.

The Word of God reveals the attitudes and intentions of my heart. His Word exposes sin. (Hebrews 4:12)

Every moment of my life, the Lord gives me choices. "What are you going to choose, Becky? Life or death? Blessing or curse? Truth or lie? Right or left? Right or wrong?"

"That... or Me?"



This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life. Deuteronomy 30:19,20

Today I choose Him. Today I choose my Lord.

I choose Life.

Moment to moment. Endeavor upon endeavor. One encounter to another.

Him.

Thank you Lord for your discipline. I do not take it lightly. Thank you for loving me so much that it breaks your HEART when I walk the wrong way. Thank you that you call me your own. You love me as your child. Thank you that my good is your concern. This day I choose life. I choose You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Are you in a season of discipline? Do not grow weary. But be encouraged...

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

...Your later on is coming soon.

Finding Yourself Far Beyond Average

{Today, I am so very honored to be guest posting over at Dayspring's blog, (in)courage, Home for the Hearts of Women. I have read (in)courage for a couple of years, so to be a little part of what God is doing through them is amazing. Thank you, Jesus! Enjoy...}

Finding Yourself Far Beyond Average

Confession: Some days, it pains me to look at other blogs.

All of my insecurities rise to the top. And I see my lack in so many areas.

Exactly how does she have 700+ readers? And that picture! She must have a nice camera. And creativity! Wow. My mind doesn’t think poetically. And that template. Beautiful. And she sews?! And cooks!? She’s so organized. And athletic. And pretty. She has an Etsy site, too?!

Sometimes I think, You know, I’m just an average girl, with an average blog, writing about my average life. Maybe I should just hang it up.

Confession: Some days, it pains me to look at others. Period...{click here to continue reading...}

Knocking At The Door Of My Heart

This morning, I was startled out of a sound sleep.

Knock, knock, knock.

Loud and alarming.

A quick gasp. Head off of my pillow.

The clock read 4:00. Exactly.

I strain my ear through the silence. My husband sound asleep beside me. He heard nothing.

I hold my breath and listen. And listen.

Nothing except the shush of white noise from the boy's room. The buzz of a fan above me.

But knocking? None.

I lower my head slowly to my pillow.

Then I hear, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Luke 11:9

Jesus.

Whispering to my heart. Knock, Becky. Seek me. Rise up and come. It is time. Walk through the door that I have opened. Knowing now who was knocking. Not at the front door of my house, but standing on the front stoop of my heart.

I obediently wrap my robe around me and go down to make coffee. (I'm pretty sure that is the first thing I was to do. Make coffee. Right?)

I come, Lord. Seeking.



Seek (zēteō): to aim at. To strive for; desire. To crave. TO SEEK TO PROMOTE THE GLORY OF GOD.

Yes. To promote His Glory. My deepest desire.

Lord, this weekend I walk. With boldness, as Your Word says, through an open door. A retreat that You prepared, in your Sovereignty, before the foundation of the world. When I was being knit in secret, You were event planning. This weekend. For me. And for the twenty-seven other ladies who will come. We come...seeking to promote Your Glory. We come... Craving. Desiring. Striving to enter into your rest. Anticipating Your meeting us there. Expecting your Holy Spirit to fall upon us. Thank You. In advance, thank You.

Will you pray?

Today begins a weekend retreat for the women of God who attend Fellowship Bible Church, Knoxville. Will you pray over us? Pray for God's Spirit to fall, for His Word to move and touch our lives. Please pray for our protection. Please pray for our speaker (ahem) that she would be less so He could be more. Pray God would knit our hearts to His and to each other.

And speaking of open doors, the Lord continues to point me towards the She Speaks conference this coming July. If you, too, are still praying about God's plan for you as a speaker, writer or women's ministry leader, then this conference may be a great opportunity. Ann Voskamp's is offering a scholarship to the conference on her blog this week. Visit here for more information.

I am learning to act on my God-given passions. And never to ignore His prompting. Heaven forbid me to miss Him. Ever.

"Dear God, Don't Let Me Be a DIVA."

Spring Break 2011 is coming to a close.

The family and I had the great privilege of staying a week with eighty college students in Daytona Beach, Florida.

It was so powerful. And I learned so much.

But what I learned, God didn't reveal during devotionals or morning quiet times scheduled for our students.

No. What I learned, the Lord taught me Tuesday night. During conflict with my husband.

Sitting in our room, on our somewhat sandy, hunter green couch, Brent and I had a little chat.

The boys played on the beds (the beds which fold out of the wall, mind you. In just one big open room. Very little privacy. Unfortunate napping set-up. One small kitchen with a miss-matched coffee maker, a poor Internet connection and, to beat all, I forgot my favorite coffee mug.

Did I mention all five of us were in one big open room? And the beds came out of the wall?

"I think we should leave Thursday."

Brent looked at me. "We just got here Sunday. I don't feel I've had a chance to connect with many students yet. Why do you want to leave?"

Thinking closely of my phrasing, "The boys will be exhausted by the end of the week. Then they'd turn right around and start back to school. I'd love to have a few days back home to readjust and settle in before a new week begins."

"The boys are having a great time. They will catch up on rest on the drive home. I think you want to go home because you are uncomfortable."

Busted.

"Well, this set up isn't ideal. Luke has no privacy for nap. The beds cave in the middle. I'm sleeping right on top of you. It's not easy on me, no. My job is being mommy. And being mommy on vacation is no vacation. It's more work. So, selfishly, mommy wants a vacation, too."

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I could hear it. Sin. Pride. Entitlement. I was being a nasty four-letter-word...

D.I.V.A.

Brent - "Well, I wish you were being more supportive and a bit more concerned about what the Lord is doing in the lives of the students here verses how inconvenient your circumstances."

Ouch. That hurt. And ticked me off.

Truth is painful to hear.

Speechless, I sat there. Staring a hole in the green carpet. Thinking.

Lord, he is so right. But my pride is hurt and I can't tell him he is "so right".

Yet.

It was time for the boys to go to bed. So I turned the sound machine on, turned the lights off, put Luke in his pack-n-play, tucked everyone in. And went to bed, as well.

As I lay there, for two hours, I prayed. And asked the Lord, what is really going on in my heart? I kept thinking of Paul, full of joy in every circumstance.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11,12

Content (autarkēs) 1) sufficient for one's self, strong enough or possessing enough to need no aid or support 2) independent of external circumstances 3) contented with one's lot, with one's means, though the slenderest.

Paul was independent. Sufficient for himself. Strong enough to need no aid. Happy, even with a slender lot.

Now, I don't go so far as to say that I was "suffering for Jesus" here. I had plenty. Luxuries in the grand scheme of life. But to a mother of three under-rested, overly-active boys, my external circumstances were slender. And unfamiliar.

But Paul was content is every situation. In plenty or in want.

I need to be, as well.

The next day, I woke. My heart heavy with DIVA.

Jesus took me for a long walk on the beach that morning. And listened as I confessed. And confessed and confessed.

"Dear Lord, don't let me be a DIVA!"

He encouraged me. And loved on me with new mercies and an amazing sunrise that reflected His faithfulness to me that day. Everyday.

I went back and told Brent how right he was (which he usually is) and we ended the trip on such a high.

It's amazing how much ministry can be done when I take myself out of it.

There is only so much ministry a Diva can do. She is far to preoccupied with herself.

In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:2

The heart of ministry lies in this verse. Looking not to your own interests but to the needs of others.

Serving. Loving-well. Encouraging. And serving some more.

We made it back in one piece. And I am thankful for the conveniences of home. Little things, like my coffee mug.



And a little privacy.

Spring Break 2011 will always be remembered as the year the DIVA died.

And thank God she did.

It's a Birthday! With Presents!

I am so excited....it is a bloggy birthday!

A Cup of Joe is turning ONE tomorrow!

Last night I sat and reflected on what the Lord has done in my life in ONE YEAR.

Take a minute to do that. Wow.

I am so thankful to Him. And so in love with my God. Mmm.

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. 2 John 1:6a

I made a commitment to Him, to obey Him, no matter what it looks like. I commit to offer myself as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1).

Not because He is an Iron Fist God, but because I love Him. My love leads me to obedience.

Disobedience doesn't mean "harsh punishment"....it means I'm missing out on something He has for me. Heaven forbid it.

If I had talked myself out of this blog, I would have done just that....missed out.

Is the Lord giving you unction to move into an unfamiliar place? DO IT. Oh, he will NOT let you fall. His plans are so much greater than our eyes can see.

Here's my first blog post. Kind of embarrassing...
**********************************************************************

Let me just start by saying.....this was God's idea.

If you know Jesus, then you know what he does....makes us do crazy things. Outlandish at times! Out of our comfort zones....Like starting a blog...a blog about me and Jesus drinking coffee, at that. SO! This blog is NOT about me....its about Him and this amazing journey of life.

So, how did it all come about? In the mornings, I get up....make coffee, grab my Bible, journal, computer and spend time in the Word. So many of you do the same thing. But every now and again I feel as if I have no place to go.

Do you know what I mean?

I go through seasons of life where I just HAVE to be in a Bible study! I crave fellowship with other women and love the structure a study offers. Other times (usually at the end of that study) I am just ready to be on my own with the Lord. Just go wherever I want to go in the Word, journal, pray, etc.

But after a while of that I get lazy.

And distracted...I start to google. And facebook. And look at Ebay....and craigslist...and iTunes. And if you asked me if I had a quiet time that day I would say, "yes, I sat quietly for a time :)" But let me tell you....when I have a place to go, a verse to read, a moment with the Lord, it is NEVER a waste of time. Some days we all need a place to start. In light of that, this blog idea kept coming up during our little chats in the morning...I pushed back and God pressed in. So here we are.

Our times over coffee in the morning are often the best times of my entire day. So rich and life-changing. One thing about the Word is...it doesn't take much. Even if you haven't cracked your Bible in years, He is faithful to bless you with his Word.

No matter where you are, where you've been or where you think you're heading.
You now have a place to start. I invite you to join us for coffee in the mornings.

Grab a cup of joe and let the Word of God transform your life....as it does mine.

*************************************************************************
So...Thank You. Thank you for joining me. He has used YOU to transform my life.

And what is a birthday without PRESENTS?!

I bought this CD for you last night. By far MY MOST FAVORITEST worship CD in years. I mean it.


Hillsong Chapel: Yahweh

So I'd love to share it with you. Leave a comment to enter.

The drawing will close Sunday night at 9pm. The winner will be announced Monday morning!

Thank you for joining me on my journey. Thank you for your friendship, encouragement and comfort. I love the body of Christ. The distance of the country can not keep us apart!

Literally.

Reflecting with the Little Red Journal

I love looking back through my journal.

God can do so much in so few pages.

But the time has come to say good-bye to the old.

Good-bye old....



Picking out a new journal is quite an ordeal for me. It has to feel right. I like it to fall open a certain way. The spacing in between lines needs to be just so. I love having scripture on each page. God really uses that some days.

My journal represents a season. My season of life. A season of growth in the Lord.

Sounds like a lot to ask from a little book.

But it is a part of me everyday. My journal is an intricate part of my time with Jesus.

I found a new one. And I am very excited...

Hello new...



But as one journal comes to an end, I love to spend a few days reflecting on what God has done. And since March 31st, 2010, he has done so much.

Reflection: Consideration of some subject matter, idea or purpose. a) To think quietly or calmly. b) To express an opinion or thought resulting from reflection.

Today, I am reflecting on the Lord. Who He is. What He has done.

And what He is doing.

I am taking a few days to think quietly and calmly. A retreat away with the Lord - preparing for the next season.

Listening.

Resting.

Refueling.

I may not be around quite as much this week.

But enjoy a few one-liners from my retired journal. Reflect with me.

And "feel free to express an opinion or thought of your own, as a result." ;)

"Everything God does is unrestrained. His grace is unrestrained." - Pastor Dunn

"Grace is God's free and unmerited favour - loving the unlovable, seeking the fugitive, rescuing the hopeless, and lifting the beggar from the dunghill and making him sit with princes." -John Stott

"Peace is not a suggestion. It is a calling."

"When you focus on the truth of God's Word, you win every time." - C. Stanely

"When you say 'yes' to God, he will ask you to do the impossible." - D. Barnes

"Pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes." - John Raskin

"What is the evidence of a regenerated person? They love the Law. It is life to them." - Mack Card

"Fasting is exchanging the needs of the physical body for those of the spiritual."

"Crucify what Becky wants."

"Knowing the Word comes with great responsibility."

"Be full of Faith. Not fear. Faith is the opposite of fear." - D. Barnes

"Jesus moves into the world through our lives. We are an invitation into his grace." - Pastor Dunn

Be blessed and open as Jesus moves through your life into the sphere of influence around you. You are His light to the world. Love to you all.

Obedience on Aisle Five

The Lord is at work in Wal-mart. Can I just tell you that?

Two times now that Lord has prompted me to pray for complete strangers...at Wal-mart.

Complete. Strangers.

Story #1 -

One lady was looking at the canned beans. Aisle 5. Sweet, gray-haired lady, probably early 70s. And her face was sad. So right there, at the beans, I strike up a conversation with her. I can't remember exactly what I said to start, but before we ended she was crying and asking me to pray for her grandson.

What God? Pray now? But I'm standing in front of the beans at Wal-mart. I don't want to pray here.

I cop out. I told her I would pray for her grandson, which I have been, but I was supposed to pray then...at the beans. And I knew it.

Story #2 -

I'm in Memphis with my sister-in-law, Erin, pushing our buggy around the produce. I see a lady, seemingly in her 60s, hardly any hair, sickly and thin. Cancer. You just know Cancer. And that feeling starts to well up in me.

"Erin, I want to pray for that woman."
"Go do it, girl."
"I'm chicken. Let's walk over and get what you need. If I see her again, then I'll know I'm to pray for her."

BUT I KNEW I WAS TO PRAY FOR HER. I didn't need to push my buggy anywhere. You see, I play little obedience games with God. I'm not just a chicken, I'm a procrastinating chicken. Even worse.

I finish shopping and check out, the whole time thinking about this woman.

Erin: "You ready?"
"No. I have to go find that woman. The Lord's not letting this one rest. I'll catch up."

And there she was, in the check out line, standing with her daughter.

"Ma'am. I know you don't know me, but my name is Becky and I just want you to know that the Lord has given me a desire to pray for you."

Awkward? A little. I wouldn't say she tearfully embraced me, but she was thankful. She told me her story. Brain and lung cancer. Four years of treatment. Her name is Rosie. And she was just beautiful.

I told her that, too.

Did I pray for her in the checkout line? No. I told you I'm chicken. But I told her I am honored to have the opportunity to pray for and encourage her.

I obeyed the Lord's prompting 90%.

Ugh.

Is He pleased with my pursuit of Rosie? Yes. And my canned bean conversation with gray-haired lady? Yes. But how much more would He have been pleased with 100%.

I ask my children to obey me quickly and completely. But I can't even obey God quickly and completely.

I need to get over my fear of man, stop trying to save face, die to myself, die to my pride and OBEY.

What ever it takes.

The Word says to be obedient in ALL THINGS. (2 Cor. 2:9, Col. 3:20) Not just the easy ones.

Good thing Jesus didn't take my approach to obedience. "Well, Father, I will go to the Cross, but let's just wait a couple of days. Maybe all these people with shape up. Or maybe We could come up with another atonement for sin. One that's not so ugly."

That's what I would have probably done.

No. Jesus "humbled Himself and became obedient to death - even death on a Cross!" Philippians 2:8. Christ had no fear of man. Just love. And look what that did for all of us. Forgiveness. Blessing. Redemption.

Christ is the perfect example of obedience.

Even unto death.

My prayer partner, Kristal, and I talked about this yesterday. And we are now holding each other accountable to hearken our ear to that still small voice. The Holy Spirit's prompting. No excuses. No shame. Just raw, quick, unashamed obedience to God. No matter the cost. No matter how embarrassing. How sacrificial. Or how counter-cultural.

I want to obey the Father. Quickly and completely.

"If you say yes to God, He will ask you to do the impossible." - Debbie Barnes

I want to say yes.

100%