Bootcamp...for my soul

At the YMCA there is a class called Ultimately Fit.

Picture Bootcamp meets Crossfit meets Jillian Michaels.

Intense.

I am amazed by the amount of women and men who show up for this torture...ahem, workout. The house is packed...sweaty people flipping tractor tires, hopping on over-sized boxes, sprinting steep hills and swinging Kettlebells. I love to watch their determination. And ferocity.

They come in as suburban stay-at-home moms and professional business men, and leave as wild animals.

In response to the Lord's unction, I signed off from a Cup of Joe the past five weeks. My thoughts, "Mmmm Lord, just the two of us. Heart to heart talks over coffee, maybe I'll memorize a new passage of scripture. Pray more intentionally for my boys. I can sing little melodies to you in worship and bask in Your presence. It will a little retreat every morning. You and me."

Sounds lovely.

Well.

I would say the past five weeks likened more to Ultimate Fit.

But for my soul.

He's had me turning over large stones inside my heart, revealing hurts and sin left untouched for years. I've hopped over big hurdles, landing some days on my face some days on my feet. Instead of gentle heart to hearts over coffee, it's been more He talks, I listen. Instead of quietly praying over my boys, He has given me a front and center seat into their hearts, all yucky with sin and rebellion. My little men who just need Jesus. Led by a mommy and daddy who just need Jesus, too. Everyday. More Jesus.

I have sang songs to Him. Some days through tears. Some days by obedience. Not always feeling it at first.

And some days not at all.

I wasn't expecting it...this Bootcamp for my soul.

We've worked through...
Money stuff.
Marriage stuff.
Friendship stuff.
Feeling fat stuff.
Failure stuff.
"I'm a bad mommy" stuff.
Boundaries stuff.

Unforgiveness stuff. (Lots of unforgiveness stuff)

And you know what?

I have loved it.

My child, don't make light of the Lord's discipline, and don't give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves...No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:5,6 & 11

Discipline (paideuo): to train children; to be instructed or taught or learn; to chastise or castigate with words, to correct; of those who are moulding the character of others by reproof and admonition; as of God - to chasten by the affliction of evils and calamities

Training - He does this. Molds us. Chastens us. Reproves us.

Because He loves us...as children.

So though painful, it is a privilege to undergo His discipline. (Would someone help my boys understand this?!)

And I can see the harvest coming in. His discipline producing pleasing fields of passion and obedience. Favor. Joy. Forgiveness.

Vision.

I went in as a tired suburban mommy - a bit dry and restless.

But I'm coming out transformed and throwin' punches. Fired up. Eager. Raw. Ready. Hungry.

And expectant.

So thank you for checking in and coming back. I pray your Easter Sunday was worshipful and renewing.

Here are my people in their Easter-y attire (as this picture is very reflective of how much Luke loves being in nice clothes. If it doesn't have Thomas the Train on it, he isn't interested. But with much bribing, we managed for a few hours. And if I am being honest, I am elbowing Grant in hopes to stop his impulse to give me bunny ears or make googly eyes. {grin} Just keeping it real.)


Lord, thank you for this sweet Monday. It is a gift. A day that I have looked forward to for five weeks. I lay this blog down at your feet. Use it. It is yours. I am yours. We are yours. It is a privilege to serve you. Show us your Glory today. Even if through discipline and hardship...show us Yourself. Let us be sensitive and aware of Your presence today. In Jesus Name, Amen.