Summertime Sanity #6 - Building Self-Esteem

Summertime is underway and I am praying that all of you are enjoying a little peace and a lot of Jesus. I have really enjoyed hearing how Summertime Sanity is playing out in your households!

I was so so encouraged the other day to receive an email from my friend, Colleen! The subject was "Look what's hanging on my fridge..." I opened the email to find this picture. I just had to share.



Precious. This is much, much cuter than my poster board and crayola marker display. I am inspired! Colleen wrote, "You know what I love best about this idea - I always have my boys write sentences for correction. Now, I'm going to have them copy the verse if/when they need discipline. And then write a "better choice" sentence with it." I'm going to do this Colleen! Thank you so much for sharing!

Now, yesterday's post, Only one thing is needed, is the meat and potatoes of your Summertime Sanity. If you read nothing else about this Summer Series, at least go back to it. Even if you don't have children - it can still apply to you. I have a few more ideas to share from the book, Sanity in the Summertime, but all of my planning is in vain if my ultimate goal isn't to share the love of Christ with my children. I want to take every opportunity to share Jesus and shepherd those tender little hearts towards the Cross.

And don't you know that He is doing a big 'ol work in me, while we're at it.

Summertime Sanity #6: Summer Strategies for Self-Esteem

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thess. 5:11

What an opportunity we have this summer to join the Lord in building a greater sense of self worth and deeper confidence in the hearts of our children. The Word clearly instructs us to encourage one another.

Dillow writes, "a sizable portion of a child's self-concept emerges from the way he thinks his parents "see" him. When a child is convinced he is greatly loved and respected by his parents, he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person. (This is good stuff). Understanding the problem is important; realizing that each child needs our love and admiration is important; but what can we do this summer to help our children see their uniqueness and accept themselves?"

The book gives several tips for building self-esteem in our children.
Some ideas include:
*having open dialogue about the differences between inner beauty and outer beauty
*having a surprise "special person" party for each child
*giving little gifts for no reason
*giving verbal/written appreciation with little notes.

Brent and I decided on pursuing the special person parties and little surprise notes for each boy.

So yesterday morning, each boy came to the breakfast table to find a little "Jedi" note at their plate. Grant got a little emotional and teary, sweet little thing. It wasn't my words that touched him so much - it was his daddy's! A father's encouragement in a child's life runs so deep. Ethan was so funny. He looked at it, smiled, then put it down. I asked him, "Did you read it?" He said, "I wed the gween words, but I couldn't weed the wed." Grant chimed in, "Yea Dad. You should practice D'Neilian." Hilarious.


It is amazing how a child's shoulders will rise up when a parent gives them words of praise. I have never read "The Five Love Languages for Children" but I plan to do so. I'm sure I will find that my boy's love languages rank highly on "Verbal Affirmation."

Just Me and Mom Time - Update

Sanity in the Summertime suggested making a coupon book for your child to cash in on Just Me and Mom Dates. So, going by the book as promised, I made a "Mommy's Summer Specials" book for each child.

I had not told the boys anything about Mommy Dates, so they were very surprised and excited. (All but Luke, who didn't understand any of it and just threw his book on the floor) BUT! I wrote his book really more for myself - to hold myself accountable. I know he is little (22 months) , but he still needs and deserves designated time with me - on his turf, doing what he loves. Here are examples....



This is one of Luke's coupons.



This is one of Ethan's...


I allowed each boy to pick their ideal day of the week to have their date with Mommy. Grant picked Monday and Ethan chose Friday. So now, MWF will be mommy dates! Arp encourages mom's to capitalize on these times bu engaging in deeper conversations with each child. To ask questions about them and listen well.

So Monday, when the little one's were napping, Grant and I went head to head in light saber war! While I dodged his every swat, I tried to engage in as many questions as he would answer. I asked him all about light sabers, all his favorite Star Wars characters, why he loved being a little Jedi, etc. He felt so special! I could tell. I am so thankful for that time with him and can't wait until next week.



The interesting one will be Ethan. When I said we were going to have a Mommy Date he said, "No...I want Daddy." Although Ethan is one of the smiley-iest kids known to man, he is not my warm and fuzzy child. He holds people at arm's length. Including me, a lot of the time. He's not a cuddler or a kisser. I am really praying the Lord would do something really special between us.

My Summer Blue Prints are written...

All things are subject to change, of course, but I have a good skeleton of what our June will look like. It was good for me to hold this up to our list of objectives and prayerfully consider how we can meet our goals.



But the next list is the one I refer to most. If you are not a list maker then you are probably thinking I'm a freak. Well, I am a little. But listen here, I have three rowdy boys that need constant stimulation. Otherwise, I end up with an entire box of tissues dismantled and strowed over the playroom (that happened last night).

So in the mornings, I will write out and pray over what is to come that day. It is hard to go from the structure that a school day brings to the nothingness of summer flexibility. I thrive in structure. My boys love it, too.



Well, don't think for one second that all is bliss in the Crenshaw household. We are most definitely out of school and together all of the time. F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G boys. Man alive! We have a long way to go. But I can not imagine going into this Summer without the knowledge the Lord has given me through His Word and this book! I will write more about this later. The Lord is faithful to meet me just where I am.

As always, I am praying for you. Thank you for reading.

Feedback always treasured.