31 Days :: Today Is The Day

Scripture is the primary instrumental means by which God effects our sanctification. Therefore, there is a necessary relationship between spiritual growth and the Bible – there is no hope for spiritual growth apart from the Bible.

We NEED God’s Word.

The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers. And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. (Deuteronomy 8:1-3)

God’s Word is powerful in our lives. God intended it to be so. It’s designed to get stuff done. It’s a very active thing! Spiritual growth will not happen without this book. Therefore, we need to make sure we are approaching it rightly. Our responsibility is to create opportunities for the Word to get done what it wants it to get done.

-Theology and Practice of the Spiritual Life, Mike Bullmore

We made it! Thirty-one Days in the Parenting Handbook. Thank you for joining me this month as we have taken some of our hardest parenting moments to the Lord as if to ask, "What do I do with this?"

As always, He answered.

Today I want to leave you with a few thoughts.

We are all on very different journeys and places in our walks with the Lord. Some of us have began a shuffle. Some have began a dance. While some of us are eating the dust of those sprinting by full force. Let me assure you...wherever you are on your path is exactly where you are suppose to be. Don't try to cram your life (or your parenting) into someone else's box. It is quite uncomfortable there.

Growth takes time.

What if you are the mom or dad who doesn't know much Scripture but really wants to teach your children from the Bible? Great! Start small. Maybe introduce one verse. Tell your kids about God. It doesn't matter if they are two or twelve....today is the day. Don't tarry. It is the most valuable gift you will ever give.

If you are the mom or dad who sang Shout to the Lord in the delivery room then never allow God's Word to become common to your children. Brent always says that "discipleship is caught not taught." Let them see Jesus alive in us. They will hunger for Him more and more as they watch Him manifest on our lives fresh everyday. Jesus is contagious. His Love is addictive. Let's share the love.

Today is the day to train your children in God's Word. Today is the day to lavish them with grace. Today is the day to point them to the only Hope that can save them.

God is INCREDIBLE.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 1 Timothy 3:16,17

God's Word sets out to accomplish a purpose. It is alive. I can't stress that enough. Living. Active. Sharp. It exposes the heart. It is God's very breath. His very heart. Imagine how it can change the lives of our children. Imagine.

And thank you for walking this month out with me. I would love love love your feedback as this is one topic that is most dear to my heart. I want to grow and write more in this area. Leave a comment with your stories and/or your thoughts.

Lord, thank you for this month. Thank you for all of those who have read along with a hunger to train their children in righteousness. Help us Lord to point our children to you. They are not ours anyway. Thank you for entrusting them to us for this blink-of-an-eye season. Let us embrace and never take for granted a single moment. We love you, Jesus. Amen.

To read "31 Days in the Parenting Handbook" from the beginning click here.

31 Days :: When You Feel Like Giving Up

Last night, I sat in the floor with a big basket of laundry beside me. Grant lay on the couch watching a football game. As I folded, I thought of today's blog.

Curious to know, I asked Grant a question. Knowing it was barely 50/50 that I would get an encouraging answer, I put myself out there... "Grant, what are a couple of things you can think of that you've learned from mommy and daddy."

His gaze fixed on the TV. "What do you mean? Like throwing a football?"

"No. Like out of the Bible. Or a life lesson that we've taught you in a discipline moment. Or how a Jesus story might help you learn about your own life."

"I don't know."

"Oh come on. I bet you can think of something."

"Nothing really."

"What? Nothing?! Grant."

He gave a bit of a grin, "Mom, I just can't think of anything right now."

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

I could have really let this discourage me. Nothing? Really??

I realize that my timing could not have been worse. And maybe I asked too broad a question. But his answer made me think.

What if that's all I ever got from him? Nothing. What if I toil and try and pour and teach and pray and shepherd and try and teach some more and this is still the answer I get. Nothing. What if it appears he is learning nothing from me. What then?

Then Galations 6:9. That's what.

DO NOT GROW WEARY. DO NOT GROW WEAK.

The term to give up translates to the Greek word eklyō. Look at its definition...
to weaken, relax, exhaust; to have one's strength relaxed, to be enfeebled through exhaustion, to grow weak, grow weary, be tired out.

Oh parent. Don't we tire out? Aren't we sometimes feeble with exhaustion? Do you ever feel as if you say the same thing, pray the same prayer, teach the same verse again and again?

We must remember...harvest takes time.

Whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Galations 6:7b

We will see fruit. Keep at it. Continue to pray.

I'm sure there were days that my grandmother wanted to stop praying for me. I had a span of several unfruitful, sinful years. But she never relaxed her strength. Her faith was not shaken by my disregard for church. My apathy for Christ. She believed her harvest would come.

Are you growing weary? Be encouraged. Your prayers are heard. And are being answered.

In due season you will reap. Keep at it mom and dad.

Click here to read 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook from the beginning.

31 Days :: Pointing Fingers

Do your children shift blame?

"I didn't do that!"
"That isn't my mess."
"I'm not sure who broke that. I don't think I did."

This drives me bonkers. "Boys, if you did this, just tell me. Own your stuff. Crenshaw boys own their stuff."

So what do we do with blame shifters? Especially when we aren't in the room to see what happened? So often, the boys are upstairs or outside and I'm in another room when I hear cries or crashes.

Unfortunately, there is no blanket answer here. Every circumstance will be different. But as a whole, there are verses in Scripture that address this. So I will give you several of them to pull from. I need to know these!

When I don't see what happened upstairs Scripture says in Job 9:20 that the mouth will condemn. In her study guide, For Instruction in Righteousness, Pam Forster suggests parents conduct a little trial. She says to "question the child about what he did. Do not allow him to tell you what someone else did." After a while, they may talk themselves into a corner and the truth will be revealed.

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13

If I know that a child is concealing evidence or shifting blame then he will not prosper. If someone is making excuses then he will be denied privileges and disciplined accordingly. Blessing will need to be withheld from him. HOWEVER, as soon as he owns up, I will show him mercy. I want them to see that honesty rocks.

A couple of stories that illustrate consequences of blaming other people:

Exodus 32:1-24 Remember Aaron and the golden calf? Aaron summoned his people to bring everything needed for the fashioning of this idol and building an alter. When Moses approached him about his sin he totally pointed a finger to the people of Israel. (Like God didn't know already).

What happened? God sent a plague on the people. Whoa.

In 1 Samuel 15:1-23 Saul downright disobeyed the commandment of the Lord to destroy the Amelekites. When confronted by Samuel he said...."but but but I did my part. It was the people. They did it! They disobeyed the voice of the LORD. (My paraphrase)

What happened to Saul? Ultimately, Saul lost the privilege of leadership and his kingdom. Yikes.

Samuel follows Saul false professions with these words, "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination and presumption as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you as king." 1 Samuel 15:22.23

Not owning his stuff caused Saul great rejection. That is quite a price to pay, wouldn't you say?

So when our kiddos take responsibility what do we do? 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

When the boys own up it is good to spend time with them after discipline - to restore fellowship and tell them how proud I am of their honesty.

Lord, thank you for your Word. Thank you for showing us that even the "greats" like Aaron and King Saul got this wrong. Thank you for showing mercy to your people and cleansing them upon asking forgiveness. Oh, confession is so healthy. Thank you for the blood of Jesus that has the power to wash us and blot out our every transgression. I pray our children will get this. I pray they will seek you and practice taking responsibility for their sin. In Jesus Name. Amen.

31 Days :: My "Go To" Parenting Passage

Sometimes, my children stump me. Their behavior throws me for such a loop that I don't know how to respond, what to say or how to shepherd their heart to Jesus. Last week a friend even told me to "never be surprised by your children's sin."

Good advice.

So today I share my go-to passage. Colossians 3:12-17. This could be one of the most all encompassing passages I've ever read. So much ground is covered. Some Bibles title this passage "Rules For Holy Living." There is no telling how many times this passage has been read out loud in my down stairs guest bathroom. Hilarious. It is so rich with instruction.

Read this fresh today. Take your time. Don't rush through with an, "Oh, I know all of this" mindset like I sometimes do. Read it in light of your parenting. In light of your marriages. Imagine how your job could be different if this passage marked your life. I pray this over myself often. It is written on a note card and sticks to my bathroom mirror everyday.

{Oh Jesus , how I long to look like you.}

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:12-17

Do you have a great passage of Scripture that you use a lot as a parent? Please please share! Leave a comment for us.

- 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook

31 Days :: A Fourth Grade Memoir {words}

Mrs. Hall was my fourth grade teacher. She was blond and short. Her cheeks full of pink blush. Her fingernails always painted. She was sweet and a bit sassy.

I remember she asked a question to the class. I don't remember the question, but I remember I knew the answer. And believe it or not, I was kind of shy back then. But I took a risk and raised my hand. She called on me and I answered correctly.

"Good job, Little Bit."

My world turned to slow motion. Little Bit? Oh my. Did she just call me Little Bit. In front of the entire class? I wanted to die.

A few of the kids around me snickered. My face was hot. Mrs. Hall turned to write on her green chalkboard. She had no idea that her term of endearment made me want to rush out of the room in tears and never return.

I was insecure enough about being the smallest of my class. I knew I was little. Always a bit awkward with a perpetually bad haircut.

And then to be called "Little Bit" in front of the e v e r y o n e.

This was death to me.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

The other night before bed, I had Ethan find this verse.
"Boys, do you realize that God has entrusted us with something very important? He has given us a special tool. A tool that has a lot of power."

At that, I stuck out my tongue, pointed to it and continued to talk...{boys laughing} "We have the power to lift someone up or tear someone down with the power of this. Our tongue! Isn't that amazing? {tongue back in...boys still laughing} "Proverbs says we have the ability to speak life words or death words to others. Do you know that we are the only thing God created that can take the thoughts in our mind and turn them into words? How cool is that?"

Between the two of us, this is so important to me. I can't even tell you. Encouragement is extremely powerful. Especially in a culture when so many things we hear and see bring death. People are desperate for words of life.

When researched in the Strong's Concordance, look at what this word life means:

Life: living, alive; green (of vegetation); flowing, fresh (of water);lively, active (of man); reviving (of the springtime)

We have the power to do all of that. A few spoken words can bring refreshment like fresh, flowing water. A word of life can renew a man like the beauty of Spring. When all has been dead, cold and barren, a life giving word can revive and bring health and growth.

"Grant, can you think of some words that have brought you life lately? What words have made you feel so good inside?"

"Well, when you tell me I did a good job on my school work or threw a good pass at my game. I like that."

"What about you, Ethan."

"Um. Well. When you tell me I did a good job on my school work. Or when I threw a good pass."

{very original}

"What about words that have brought you sadness or, like Proverbs says, death?"

Grant: "When you tell me I've 'crossed the line' or that I can't go outside to play."

Ethan: "Yeah or when you say we can't go play at Laser Quest." {random}

"Those are good examples. Do you see how we remember both the good words and the bad. We want to speak lots of life in our home. Can you all think of ways we can speak life to each other."

And the conversation went on from there. So good.

Have I recovered from Mrs. Hall's unintentional blow to my self-confidence? Yes. For the most part. She meant absolutely no harm. But this is a great example of how long words can stick. There is no telling what all my children will remember of their childhood. Like Louisa May Alcott writes in Little Women, I pray they remember "good strong words that meant something." Words that reive and renew.

Lord, today, let us speak words of life to our children. May our words be good and strong. Thank you for entrusting us with the ability to speak a word. It is such a privilege.
-31 Days in the Parenting Handbook

31 Days :: Doctor's Orders - Be Imitators

A couple of weeks back, we visited our pediatrition for Luke's three-year-old well-check. After the initial weigh in and measurements, his nurse handed me a sheet informing me of age appropriate behaviors, learning patterns and growth expectancies.

This sheet said something about Luke's development that made me a bit nervous.

Mimicking: Learns by imitating speech sounds an behaviors of those around him.

I thought, "Oh no. This kid will never be right."

The biggest influences on his life are awesome : but they are eight and five-years-old. His brothers. Luke watches everything they do. He says everything that they say. They are rowdy, rough, tumble, energetic, loud and competitive little boys.

Does this mean that Luke will grow up tackling his friends in class and spouting out football jargon in Sunday school.

Chances are high, yes.

As soon as the boys hopped in the van after school, I showed them Luke's pediatritian sheet. "Boys, I want you to see how much influence you all have over your youngest brother. Today, the doctor confirmed how much Luke learns from you. He watches almost everything you do. Wow. What a honor God has given you all as older brothers!"

They leaned over my seat to see the handout.

"You know what else is neat? Luke learns so much from you, but we can learn a lot from him."

Grant piped in, "Like what?"

"The Bible says we are to be imitators, too. Just like little children. Like little Lukey. But we are to imitate God. The more we know God, the more we will look like him. The more time we spend with him, the easier it becomes to mimic Him. We tend to look and act like those we spend time with the most."

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1,2

This made sense to them. They see first hand, every day, how much Luke wants to be like his brothers. Any given day you may see Luke stomping down stairs in a football helmet screaming Touchdown. He begs me to take him to "big school like Grant." He plays with their Lego's and knows more about Star Wars than any three-year-old should.

"And you know what else is neat?" I continued, "The more we imitate Jesus, the more we look like Him, the more Luke will want to look like Jesus, too. He can see Christ in you. Cool beans, eh?"

"Yea, cool."

So maybe we're not doomed. Yes, Luke may tackle his friends at church and know first downs and field goals a bit early, yet he also might pick up on the love of Christ. Not a bad combo. I'll take it.

If you have a wide range of ages around your house, this may help your kiddos understand what it means to be imitators of God as dearly loved children.

-part of our 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook

{Giveaway Results}

And a super big thanks to all of you who entered to win this SEEDS Family Worship CD! Thank you for taking the time to comment and share with your friends. The winner?? Thanks to random.org for picking our winner....drumroll.....GINA HODGES! Whoo hoo!

Thank you Gina for entering! You will love this. L O V E I T.

And the month of November we will have two giveaways for newly released books. I heart giveaways.

31 Days :: Pressured First-Born Syndrome

Three boys: One baby. One middle. One first-born.

When I found out we were having a third child, my focus went to the middle son. Many prayers began for Ethan, in effort to avoid the plague of the Middle Child Syndrome.

Then comes the new baby, full of joy and demanding attention in the best kind of way.

Then there's mom, trying to over compensate for Ethan being the middle child. Lavishing him with an abundance of attention and words of encouragement.

But in my efforts to avoid cooing too much over the baby and ignoring my middle son...I fear I have created a new syndrome: The Pressured First-Born.

Grant is so stable, smart and self-sufficient. He is my big helper and strong leader. I am so proud of him.

But is that how he thinks I view him?

Probably not.

On any given day, this is what Grant hears from me...

"Grant, stop that. Be an example for your little brothers."
"Grant, let's calm down."
"Grant, will you quit that?"
"Grant, you are teaching your brothers wrong behavior."
"Grant, you know better than that."
"Grant, you are big enough to do that on your own."

He is the God-ordained oldest of the brothers, yes. Does this come with special responsibility? Yes. I tell him it is a privilege to be the oldest. God saw fit for him to do this big job. But, lately I'm seeing the pressure I put on him.

Last night, just about every sentence out of my mouth to him was a form of correction.

Very little encouragement.

I am feeling very unbalanced as a mother here.

So...

What is the balance between discipline and encouragement?

What is the balance between instruction and grace?

I don't want my oldest to grow up as an anxious child - worrying if he is doing everything right.

Am I molding him into a nail biter?

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. Proverbs 12:25

I'm sure my words weigh him down. But...

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

My words have been more like the honeybee than the honeycomb. Stinging and painful.

Gracious (in Hebrew - no`am ) means pleasant, kind, delightful, beautiful, favour.

Grant needs to know that I delight in him. Even when he has the sillies and is driving me a little crazy - I really do still delight in him.

I want to speak life into my children.

I don't want to sow seeds of disappointment. I want to sow seeds of encouragement, joy, enthusiasm and favour.

In every circumstance, we will reap what we sow. Parenting included.

My mentor, Debbie, said this other day regarding parenting (get a pen this is good) - "Speak to your child's potential, not their fault. Restore them. Say, 'I see this good thing in you. I see that good thing in you.' Hug them. Tell them how proud you are that God gave them to you. Tell them how they bless your life. Speak God's Word over them. Tell them how you love and pray for them. Speak to their God-given potential."

Wow. How often to do I speak to Grant's fault? Often.

What if Grant heard words like this on a more regular basis:

"Grant, you are such a great leader. Thank you for helping mommy just now. You are such a servant-hearted little guy."

"Grant, the Lord has given you such a smart mind. I am proud of your hard work at school. This pleases mom and dad. More so, it pleases the Lord."

"Grant, I know you have the sillies. I am so thankful for all of your joy and energy. But let's bring it down a notch or go outside with it. There is an appropriate time to be silly. Just not right now." (Or something like that) :)

The Bible is very clear that when we do this, speak these good words, it makes them glad, brings health and is sweet to their souls.

Discipline with encouragement. Instruction with grace.

This is the balance.

Re-post from November 2011. I. Needed. To. Read. This.

Last Day to register to win the SEEDS Family Worship CD. Have you missed it? Click here.

31 Days :: Why Discipline?

Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. Hebrews 5:8

Jesus was without sin. Always obedient. Isn't it a paradox that Jesus had to learn obedience?

He was fully divine, yet fully human, and although he lead a blameless life, he came to acquire knowledge and experience by living as we do - with suffering and temptations. Jesus, "especially came to know firsthand what it cost to maintain obedience in the midst of suffering. As he obeyed his Father in the face of temptation, he 'learned obedience' so that his human moral ability would be strengthened." Crossway ESV 2368

The other day Grant and Ethan had cross words that quickly turned physical. Grant hauled off and pushed Ethan down. "Grant, to the bathroom."

Oh, The Bathroom. Our downstairs guest bath must be my kid's least favorite place on the planet. The place we go for discipline. I hope they don't grow old with phobias about guest baths. {Praying they recover.}

I walked into the bathroom to see Grant crouched down with tears. "Mom, I promise I won't do it again. I'll be nice. I'll let him go first. I'll keep my hands off. I promise. Do I have to get a spankin'?"

"Grant, I wish it worked that way. And sometimes it does. Sometimes, I can take you at your word that you won't do it again. But this time, mommy needs to discipline you. Buddy, I don't discipline you because I like it. I discipline you because I love you. I don't want this behavior in you. Folly is all bound up in your heart and the only way for us to get it out is through discipline (Prov 22:15). Even Jesus had to learn obedience through suffering. He didn't want to go to the Cross. He begged his Daddy not to make him go. (Hebrews 5:7) But he went anyway. He submitted to his Father. He learned obedience just like you have to learn it. And look what came from Jesus' obedience in going to the Cross. Our salvation. I sure am glad he obeyed!"

At this point, I'm sure Grant heard Charlie Brown's school teacher. But I don't care. I believe in sowing those seeds of Truth. He'll get it one day.

I want my boys to understand that the hardship and suffering associated with discipline is motivated by my great love for them. Not my frustration with them. Not my disappointment in them. I discipline my children because I love them. I want better for them.

Honestly, this encourages me as God's child, too. When I suffer, when I am disciplined, I know I am being treated as God's child. He loves me enough to not leave me to my sin. I'm sure it would be easier to let me be. Not listen to me whine and complain about it. But no, He pursues me because He sees the sin in my heart and wants it out.

The less junk in my heart...the more room for Him.

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12: 10.11

-31 Days In The Parenting Handbook.

HAVE YOU ENTERED TO WIN? If you missed yesterday's post, click here. You want this CD. Promise.

31 Days :: Happy Birthday Mama! {A Giveaway}

Today is a special day.

A day to celebrate, reflect and remember. Today, October 23rd, would have been my mother's 67th birthday. {Happy Birthday Mama.} I wonder if she knows it is her birthday down here? Hmmm. One day, I will know.

Until then, I will remember.

Two things that marked my Mama were her great love for music (she sang like Aretha - no joke) and what a gift giver she was. She made a big deal about birthdays. She loved surprises. She loved blessing others. So today, in true Darlene fashion, I want to make a big deal about her birthday with surprises and blessings.

A month ago (or so) one of my besties surprised me with a CD. Have you ever heard of SEEDS Family Worship? Oh my. If you haven't, this is a big day for you. The first day you've heard of SEEDS. I am excited!

My friend gave me a CD called Seeds of Courage for kids. What is it like, you ask? How can I put it? It is soulful, funky music - great beat, current, relevant, contagious and it is all Scripture. Yes. Every bit.

These CDs are the best I've heard. Each song truly sow Seeds into the hearts of my boys. I. Love. Them. Love them. I am actually using two songs off of my CD to lead preschool worship this morning. Did I mention I love these?

{Confession: I listen to it when the boys aren't with me. Don't tell.}

So, can I give you one? Surprise and bless you on Mama's birthday? She would love that.

This could be your CD...Seeds of Faith

Two different ways to enter:

1. Share with your friends about The Word of God and a Cup of Joe. However you'd choose: Facebook, email, Twitter. Invite a friend to join us. Tell them about our 31 Days series. etc... Then - leave a comment telling me you did...I don't want to miss ya.

2. New to a Cup of Joe? Follow along! Scroll to the bottom of the page and click "Follow" OR Subscribe by email (look at the top left of this screen). Click "subscribe by email." OR Go to Facebook and follow along there. Too many choices? - Sorry. Then - leave a comment telling me you did...I don't want to miss ya.

The giveaway will end Tuesday night. I will announce the winner on Wednesday morning.
Rest well this Sabbath. Love love love to all of you.

31 Days :: Take Hold Of Rebellion

A couple of weeks ago, I got a message from a friend. Read this and see if you relate:

"Hey Becky, What about super strong willed kids? My little girl (3-years-old) is so strong willed. We are going through a stage where she talks back almost every time and hardly ever obeys 1st time. She is spunky and passionate - just gotta figure out how to channel in the right place! I feel like I'm hitting a wall with her. I don't want to just make her be quiet or obey - I long to see real change in her heart! Anyway , there's a post idea for you."

First of all, I know this mommy. She is as Jesus-Lovin' as they come. And as I've been praying about her question, I keep coming to, I'm sure everything she is saying or doing in those disciplining moments is similar to how I would handle it.

So I don't feel like "parenting advice" is appropriate. I have a strong-willed three-year-old, myself.

But friend, here is what the Lord has impressed upon me. Calling a spade and spade, this strong-willed attitude is a spirit of rebellion.

I don't know about you, but when Luke throws a fit it is as if something comes over the child. Throwin' himself on the ground.... Squealing at the top of his lungs.... Swinging his arms... Throwing things.... It is quite a display of border-line insanity.

One thing is for certain - I can not rationally talk him out of it.

So what do we do? What do I do with my strong-willed, rebellious little boy?

I pray.

Yes, pray for him. I know sometimes that is not the revolutionary answer we all seek, but it is the answer.

Sometimes rebellion gets so thick in this house that it takes some "miss a few meals" prayin'. It might mean calling all of my praying friends. My mentor said once that "more happens through the ministry of prayer than words or actions can ever produce."

In her book, Power of a Praying Parent, Stormie Omartian says, "Rebellion is actually pride put into action. Rebellion says, 'I'm gonna do what I want, no matter what God or anyone else says about it.' Identifying and destroying the idols of pride and selfishness through prayer can often be the key to breaking a child's rebellion. This rebellion will surface on your child at one time or another. Be ready to meet the challenge with prayer and the Word of God, along with correction, discipline and teaching."

Rebellion is pride. I love that. So very true. And rebellion is a challenge. Our kids will challenge us until the day they leave the house. In big ways and small, rebellion will rear its head. I want to respond in prayer. Taking hold of that rebellious spirit with God's word. It can not stand.

I win every time.

Instead of reinventing the wheel today, I want to provide the prayer that Omartian gives at the end of the "Honoring Parent's and Resisting Rebellion" chapter. If your children are struggling with a spirit of rebellion, will you commit to pray for them? Call in your prayer troops if need be. This might take some knees getting dirty.

But this I know. God's Word will change your circumstance. A spirit of rebellion doesn't stand a chance.

I hope this helps.

Lord,
I pray that you would give (child's name) a heart that desires to obey you. Put into him (her) a longing to spend time with you, in your Word and in prayer listening for your voice. Shine Your light upon any secret or unseen rebellion that is taking root in his (her) heart, so that it can be identified and destroyed. Lord, I pray that he (she) will not give himself (herself) over to pride, selfishness, and rebellion, but that he (she) will be delivered from it. By the authority you've given me in Jesus name, I "stand against the wiles of the devil" and resist idolatry, rebellion, stubbornness, and disrespect; they have no part in my son's (daughter's) life, nor will my child walk a path of destruction and death because of them.

Your Word instructs, "Children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord." (Col 3:20) I pray that you would turn the heart of this child toward his (her) parents and enable him (her) to honor and obey father and mother so that his (her) life will be long and good. Turn his (her) heart toward you so that all he (she) does is pleasing in Your sight. May he (she) learn to identify and confront pride and rebellion in himself (herself) and be willing to confess and repent of it. Make him (her) uncomfortable with sin. Help him (her) to know the beauty and simplicity of waling with a sweet and humble spirit in obedience and submission to You.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

31 Days :: My Body Is A What?

Health is important to me. I deeply enjoy exercise. I'm one who runs because I have learned to love it. So it is sometimes difficult when I see that my boys don't necessarily share my same passion for wellness.

If you were to ask Grant his favorite food, chances are very high he would say cheese pizza and Oatmeal Creme Pies. Ethan might answer cinnamon pretzels from Sam's. And I know that I know little Luke would say chicken nuggets.

Oh, I wish I could say they all love broiled fish with steamed asparagus. Or even baked chicken and green beans. But they don't. However, they will eat them (while sometimes snarling at me).

Over the years, I have seen the connection between the spiritual well being of my soul and the physical well being of my body. When we feel good about ourselves we operate better on every level. When my mind is hazy from lack of sleep or improper nutrition, my listening grows dull. I am unmotivated and my spiritual growth crawls.

But. Give me adequate hydration and some running endorphins -- I am a new woman. I am a better mom. A happier wife. Whoo hoo! And give me Jesus! I am rarin' to go.

Listen, God has revealed some life altering stuff to me on the running trail. I. Am. Not. Kidding.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV

Contextually, this verse is referring to sexual immorality and remaining physically pure. However, this verse covers a lot of ground. YOUR BODY IS BEING LIKENED TO THE TEMPLE. Like THE Temple. In Jerusalem. The Temple consisting of the Most Place and the Holy of Holies. Your body is NOW where God resides. The Holy Spirit's habitat is YOU.

Sip your coffee and think on that. A - Maz - Ing.

So while I don't want to shame my boys for loving Oatmeal Creme Pies (I love them too!), I do want to encourage them to be mindful of how many they cram in that sweet little Temple of theirs. I want to raise them with a healthy awareness of nutrition and fitness. Not just for health reasons but for heart reasons. For soul reasons. For sharing the Gospel reasons.

It is not too early to present this Biblical truth to my boys, now. Today. I may get a "My body is a what?" response. "A Temple?" Yes. A Temple.

"Your heart...God's Home."

I pray my boys will one day enjoy lean meat and vegetables like I do, but until then, I will stand in faith that one day they will. I pray they see themselves as worth the effort and have the discipline they need to maintain good health and wellness -- For Jesus glory, not their own.

31 Days :: Teaching Them Authority

Are you tired of me yet? Thirty one days is a lot of coffee for one little blogger! I am so grateful for you sticking with me through this series. I truly believe we can all learn something from each other. Thank you for sharing with me through this, too. God uses you so often in my life. No doubt about it.

Speaking of learning from each other, I felt it very fitting to give a big ol' shout out to one of the most influential moms I know. Her name is Tisha. Remember Tisha? As in she redesigned my house Tisha? Oh yeah! That Tisha. Well, not only is she an amazing interior designer - not only is she one talented little seamstress - not only does she write her own blog - she is also one ROCK star of a mommy. Seriously, when we painted my kitchen, I learned just as much about being a mommy as I did about refinishing cabinets.

Yesterday morning, we had a little baby shower anticipating the November arrival of her sixth baby. No typo there. Yes, sixth. We had a great time celebrating her and what God has done in her sweet family. This summer, as we painted, hung curtains and fluffed pillows, I took away several little nuggets of wisdom that I want to transfer into the Crenshaw home. Little ways of disciplining my children in a greater understanding of God and His Word.

In the Old Testament, one primary way God made his plan known was through the great Prophets. A prophet is one who spoke not his own words, but words that he had divinely received. He was God's messenger. A declarer of God's will.


For example, Tisha teaches this concept in a very creative way. I shared with her one time how my older boys like to dominate their younger siblings. They crave authority. So they end up being bossy and unloving, which leads to disputing. At this, Tisha made the observation that it sounds like my children are trying to take away the authority that God has given to Brent and me. They are trying to use our God-given authority for themselves.


Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God and those that exist have been instituted by God. Romans 13:1

So she and her husband will sometimes give the children room to exercise a bit of authority over the other siblings...instituted only by her or her husband. Let me explain. Ex. She might pull Mary aside, her oldest daughter, and say, "Will you do me a favor? Will you go down stairs and act as a prophet for mommy? Will you please go ask your brothers to come upstairs and wash for dinner?"

So Mary goes downstairs and says, "I'm acting as a prophet for mom...will you all please come upstairs and wash for dinner?"

If the siblings do not come, it is an act of disobedience against the parents. Not against Mary.


This works around here. It has been a great, hands-on way for the boys to learn the concept of a prophet. It is also important that they learn not to abuse their use of authority.

So what do you think? Is this something you could use in your family?

31 Days :: To The Women Still Waiting

A friend sent an email to me yesterday. In her email was a blog post about waiting. Waiting on God. As I read it I couldn't help but think of the women who struggle with the "wanting kids so badly wait". The women walking through infertility issues. The women who want children, or want more children and their husband isn't on board. Oh the wait can hurt. So. Bad. The longing that comes along with the "wanting kids so badly wait" is downright excruciating at times.

So as I write October's, 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook, I never want to forget those still waiting. I was once there. I prayed and prayed. I felt so forgotten and unheard by God. Heartbroken over the seemingly answered prayer for a baby. Sweet friend, if you find yourself (or know of someone) in that place today, you are not forgotten or unheard. And He knows your heart is breaking. I pray that this post from Tracie Miles will offer you encouragement in the wait.

Tired of Waiting on God

"Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them." Genesis 25:26b

Do you ever get tired of waiting on God to answer your prayers? Recently, I began to feel a sense of frustration with the wait, and also a little bit tired.

Tired of saying the same old prayer day after day, month after month, year after year. Tired of telling God about the same old problems still going on. Tired of hearing myself pray about the same old problems, leading me to wonder if God was as tired of hearing my prayer requests as I was of praying them.

So I bowed my head and admitted to God that I was simply tired of the wait.

In a heavy state of emotional tiredness, I turned to the crisp, white pages of my Bible. I was hoping God would illuminate a few verses that would jump out of the book and straight into my heart.

I began reading about when Isaac's wife Rebekah gave birth to twin sons. One particular sentence caught my eye and I read it again and again. My heart leapt as I realized God was using this one little sentence to speak hope into my spirit. He used His spiritual highlighter just as I had wanted.

Genesis 25:26 tells us that Isaac was sixty years old when his twins were born; a simple Bible fact, yet profoundly meaningful to me on this specific day. You see, Isaac had been patient for the Lord to provide the perfect wife; he was forty years old when he married Rebekah. If you do the math you realize Isaac waited twenty years for Rebekah to bear him children! He could have chosen a concubine to bear him a son. But he was a man of great patience who waited on God. Eventually his patient faith was rewarded.

Isaac never gave up hope that his Lord could make the impossible, possible. He had learned that his Lord would provide. So he continued to pray the same desperate prayer for a son, day after day, month after month, year after year. In fact, we learn in Genesis 25:21 that "Isaac pleaded with the Lord" (NLT), meaning he earnestly and strongly prayed about his problem. He did not half-heartedly ask God for a son, he pleaded! He begged. He poured his heart out.

I can envision Isaac passionately pleading to God throughout those twenty years, with out-stretched arms and a tear-stained face pressed against the hot, dirty soil, begging God to answer his prayer.

Isaac was surely tired of the wait, but he never stopped praying or believing that his dreams could come true. And in God's perfect timing, they did.

If you are tired of the wait, you may be pleading to God just like Isaac. It may take twenty years for God to answer our prayers, or it may only take twenty minutes. But today, let us find comfort in remembering Isaac's patient faith and take hope in believing that God is not tired of hearing our prayers. Instead, He is simply waiting for the perfect time to answer.

Dear Lord, please help me have patience and faith while I wait to hear from You. Help me live in excited anticipation for the day when I will see how You answer my prayers. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

- Tracie Miles
www.traciemiles.blogspot.com

31 Days :: Pointing Out Specks

The other night, as the boys were getting ready to go to bed, Grant went to brush his teeth. Ethan had just finished brushing his and was snug in his bed. I heard Grant in the bathroom, "Mom. Ethan made a mess in the sink. There is toothpaste everywhere. He didn't clean up after himself."

"Grant, have you ever heard the Bible verse about taking the plank out of your own eye? {No} Jesus says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Matt 7:3)

Between my three littles, pointing out specks is commonplace.

"What does that mean?" Grant asked.

"Instead of being so quick to point out Ethan's faults, why don't you give him a little grace. There have been plenty of mornings when I have cleaned your toothpaste out of the sink. I'm guessing Daddy has gone behind me to clean up my toothpaste, too. Jesus is saying don't look at other's imperfections when we have our own to deal with.

Do your kiddos do this? Point out specks? I want to encourage my boys to serve each other (like wiping up the toothpaste) and to overlook non-issues. We spend way too much time dealing with these little battles. We're getting there, slowly but surely.

Have you missed any of our 31 days series? If so, click here.

FYI - A sweet friend recommended a wonderful book to me. I tell you, if I could physically ingest it, I would try. It is called Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. Next time you go to the book store, look it up. It is yummy. Have you read any books that have made a positive impact on your parenting?

31 Days :: What Do You Do With Stealing?

Saturday evening, when football games were over and dark was closing in, we started our bedtime routine. Little did I anticipate finding myself on unfamiliar parenting ground.

Once Grant hopped out of the tub, he went to his room to put on his PJ's. As I ran bath water, I remember walking in the boys room and seeing three quarters on the floor. Three quarters that Ethan had earned for doing a few extra chores for Brent. As the other boys bathed, I could here the jingle of Grant playing with those three coins. "Grant, are you almost ready for bed?"

I walked toward his bedroom and met him as he was walking out the door. "Hey buddy, you ready?"

"Yep."

"Did you leave those coins in the floor for Ethan?"

"Oh, I didn't know they were Ethan's."

"Well, whose else would they have been? Did you think they were yours?"

"No."

"Where did you put them?" The more we talked, the more he fidgeted. This whole conversation not going in his favor.

"In my piggy bank."

"Buddy, did you know those coins were Ethan's?"

"Yes ma'am."

Now, I'm here to tell you, this is new for me. I have not had much parenting experience with stealing.

"I need you to go get Ethan's three coins out of your piggy bank and then take two more of your coins out to give him. I want you and I to go in together and tell Ethan what has happened."

Oooooh. He did not like this at all.

"Two more coins?! But I only had 50 cents to start with!"

But he did it. He went and confessed to Ethan what all he had done. And gave him 50 cents extra.

As a parent, I was totally broken. My baby. Sneaking 75 cents from his brother. I prayed and prayed about how to talk to Grant about this more. Ultimately, what was so clear to me was how heart level this act was. Whatever made him want to sneak those coins was a deeper issue than wanting more money.

A few things....

About his punishment. Leviticus 6:1-5 says, "If anyone sins by deceiving his neighbor....through robbery or if he has found something lost and lied about it, swearing falsely - if he has sinned and has realized his guilt and will restore what he took by robbery...or anything about which he has sworn falsely he shall restore it in full and shall add a fifth to it and give it to whom it belongs." I guess I could've gone about this differently, taking away Legos or Lightsabers, but if this rule worked for the Levites, maybe it will work for the Crenshaw's too. However, I honestly don't think anything else would have stung worse for Grant than giving Ethan his own coins.



About his heart. I don't want to shame Grant. He is only eight and is learning so much. He is an amazing kid. I remember stealing a pack of Bubblicious from the grocery store when I was around eight. But the detective in me wants to get to the bottom of this. Why did he feel he needed to steal? Isaiah 57:11 says that lying is motivated by fear. I wonder if he is fearful of not getting enough? Or just fearful that Ethan will have more than him? And the more I talked to him about it, this is what I discovered. He was jealous that Ethan had more money. Hmmm. What do I do with that?

Ultimately, I want to use this as an opportunity to point Grant to Jesus - to his need for a Savior. We are sinful... we sneak, we lie, we kick, we hit, but Jesus loves us still. This is why He came to die. We are a mess.

Oh friend, I am still working through this one. But this I know...God's Word does not return to me empty (Is. 55:11) I plan on focusing on this today in prayer. I don't know his heart, but the Lord does. I am praying that He gives me insight through prayer. I just wanted to share with you and gleam any wisdom from you if you have it. I obviously don't have all of the answers. I trust the power of the Holy Spirit to heal what is broken. He is so very faithful.

31 Days {minus one}

If you were to see me right now, you would take one look and say, "Girl, take that all back to bed." This morning, I am nursing one mean head cold, chills and congestion with a cup of Starbucks, a little medication and a whole lotta prayer.

So in lieu of today's post, I am forwarding you on to my like-minded, Australian bloggy friend, Belinda. Her blog, Live Life With Your Kids, is full of rich, yummy discipleship tools to point your kiddos to Jesus.

This morning, take a peek at what the Lord is doing in her sweet world.

Click here for Belinda's 31 Days of Heart Conversations.

{and pray for this little joyfuljava blogger as she recoups, in Jesus Name}

We'll resume tomorrow...

31 Days :: A Little Reminder (for me)

Handbook: a book capable of being conveniently carried as a ready reference : manual

Yesterday, my mind swirled all afternoon. And I want to share with you why.

I want to be very clear about something in regards to this 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook.

The very, very, very last thing I want to convey in this series is that the Bible (a.k.a. our Parenting Handbook) is to be presented to our children as a book full of rules for them to follow. Is it a book full of rules? Well yes, in part. But even greater, and the biggest thing I want to relate to my children, is that God's Word is a record of what God has done... His faithfulness... His merciful Love for his Children. It is a story of unfathomable redemption....a Perfect God redeeming a people who were incapable of following the rules.

So. As a parent, I too, want to keep a conscientious balance of this..."Becky - Don't Ever - Ever - Ever present God's Word as binding, oppressive or legalistic. Teach your children that the rules and boundaries that God has laid for us...WILL SET YOUR CHILDREN FREE."

This, my sweet friend and reader, is my very heart.

Today, I woke later than usual. I am fighting a little sinus-y junk which makes my body crave sleep, tissues a Luden's cough drops. When I rolled over, I found a little boy. A little boys weighing 72lbs. Maybe I should say a not-so-little-anymore-boy.

When I got up, so did he. "Grant, if you are going to be up this early, you are going to have your First and Ten with me."

First and Ten - Spending the first ten minutes of your day with Jesus, reading His Word and praying.

As my coffee brewed, he grabbed his journal and Bible. I took his Bible and opened it to Psalm 63:3-4. "Why don't you copy this verse and reflect. When you are finished writing, come to the table and we'll talk about it."

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. Ps 63:3-4

So while I've been over here typing, he has been writing. He just now came over to me and showed me his pretty cursive handwriting. "Grant, do you know why I wanted you to write this verse? {No} I wanted you to write it because I want us to always view God in light of His Majesty. He is so worthy of our praise. He is a loving Father, but He is also the reigning King. His love is so much better than anything this world has to offer. He loves you so much."

More than any rule or law, I want my boys to know Jesus. I want them to understand that He bore the Cross and died a horrible, yucky, painful death because we couldn't follow the rules. Does that mean we are released from rules? No. Does it mean He gives us grace when we break them? Absolutely.

Ultimately, the law is to point us to story of The Cross. Let me never forget to leave this out of parenting. A part from the Cross, the Bible is a book of rules that we are incapable of obeying.

(We went to the Pumpkin Patch yesterday with some friends and took my neice. Isn't she a doll?)

Have a great Saturday.

31 Days :: Celebrate Your Kids

It is said that we are our own worst critic.

Well, I can also say that I am my child's worst critic, too.

I. Can. Be. So. Hard. On. My. Kids.

I don't mean to be. I just want them to do well. To listen. To love each other. To thrive.

However, I need to keep my heart in check. I want to be careful to not be an overbearing mother.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

Grace and Truth. Jesus was the perfect balance of both.

He wants the best for us, too. He wants us to do well. To listen to Him. To love each other. To thrive.

But He is not the least bit overbearing. He does not put a bit of pressure on us.

He was the perfect balance of loving us, encouraging us, healing us, guiding us. Yet, confronting us, teaching us, rebuking us and pointing us to our need for Him.

Grace and Truth.

As we are now halfway through our 31 days in the Parenting Handbook, let us take time today to celebrate our children. Will you take a few minutes to reflect on your child. Celebrate them in your heart. Think about all of their strengths and gifts. Pray for them. Thank the Lord for them. If you have a little extra time, write them a little note. Draw them a picture. Take them to a special place today. Even if it isn't what you'd choose to do.

In the morning, when the boys get up, I am usually sitting right here, in front of this computer. Coffee cups empty. (yes, cups - plural. I fix two so I don't have to get back up - it is safe to say I have a coffee addiction.) Journal and Bible open.

The boys will lean into me and give me a hug before they start asking their usual, "What's for breakfast?" and "What are we doing today?" questions.

I sometimes will let them know, "I just finished praying for you. I thanked God for you and told Him how awesome I think you are."

Ethan smiles at me and usually doesn't reply. Grant, on the other hand, he is funny. He always seems surprised, "You did?"

"I did."

This is a small thing to say to them. But it means so much. I want them to know that mommy prays for them and celebrates them when they aren't around.

What are little ways you celebrate your kids?

31 Days :: Better Than A Super Hero

My boys wish so badly to be super heroes. If you drop by my house at any given moment you just might be greeted by Obi Wan Kenobi or Dash the Incredible. Every now and then Bumblebee the Transformer hangs out here, too.

Sometimes, Tyler Bray, Quarterback for the UT VOLS, and Chris Johnson, star running back for the Tennessee Titans, join us for lunch.

The other night we visited the local thrift store. Luke found an old Incredibles mask. I can't explain how funny it was to see what happened as soon as he put it on. We watched him run, bare feet round and round and round the store. And here takes off his mommy chasing after him. She had little luck. This mask made him an unstoppable force.

It is amazing to see what happens as soon as they suit up. They can run faster, climb higher and throw farther. They believe so much in the power of these costumes. My boys love to feel this power.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty warrior and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Anger is a big issue around here. The boys are so little and learning how to co-exist together.

We are all learning how to work things out.

The boys are very passionate about what they love. They have incalcuable amounts of emotion and energy. And when they get upset and so so mad, it is hard for them to know what to do with all of that emotion.

So they hit. Or yell. Or tackle. Or throw. Or push. Or stomp.

"Boys, the Bible says that controlling your anger is even better that being a super hero. Let's practice having power over our spirits. Let's practice controlling our anger. Proverbs says that being slow to anger is much better than a mighty warrior. When you can rule over your frustration you are even better than a man who can rule a whole city!"

My boys really get this. It makes sense to them.

And for all the little princesses out there, they can practice ruling their spirits along with their kingdoms, too.

Do your kiddos struggle with out bursts of anger? If you have a creative way of handling it, I'D LOVE TO LEARN FROM YOU.

If you are just now joining us on our 31 Day Journey in the Parenting Handbook, click here.

There are also over 600 bloggers participating in a 31 day series in October. Hop over to The Nester to see.

31 Days :: Nothing Is More Important

Thoughts from Brent:

I work with college men everyday. Over the years I've been in groups with literally hundreds of young men ages 18-24. While I haven't done any official surveys, I do ask most of them in the context of curiosity, "How many of you had a mom or dad that you saw praying or reading their Bible?" I usually ask this question with even more emphasis on their dads.

The stats usually come back as 1 in 10 parents ever visibly showed any type of devotional life that their kids could remember. Keep in mind, many of these, even most of these, come from 'Christian' homes. I would say it's probably less than 10%, maybe even less than 5%. When I've asked these students how many of them had dad's who prayed out loud and how many fathers talked to them about sex, that percentage drops even further.

When I ask them to picture in their mind what their dad's Bible looked like growing up, almost all answer, "I don't know."

There are so many nights that I don't want to pray with my boys or read them Bible stories. There are also many days we are so exhausted that we have a quick bedtime, breakfast time, etc. Becky and I know how difficult early mornings and later evenings can be. Even yesterday I was thinking, "you know Becky (and most moms/parents) work a minimum of 14-16 hour days." At the end of 16 hours, reading Bible stories can seem like reading War and Peace.

But let me encourage you and tell of another trend I see.

Not every case, but in many, the most grounded, mature, loving, moral, Godly, Spirit-filled men I see in our ministry ARE the ones that had a dad and mom investing in them in prayer and Scripture. The young men who are actively keeping their virginity, rebelling against pornography, sharing their faith, and leading exemplary lives are the ones who had spiritual influence at early ages. Many times I can directly link them to a Dad (and mom) investing in them from a very young age.

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:6,7

This verse is a huge challenge to me. It really means to seize the teachable moments of the day to pour into our children. As we sit, walk, lie down, and rise from bed - The slower moments of the day are these moments.

Parents, do your kids see you in the Word? Do they know what your Bible looks like? Do they hear you pray out loud? Do you teach them, by example, how to pray?

If you answer no to these questions, don't beat yourself up. Today, is the day.

Let us all commit to growing in this and pursuing the hearts of our children. Nothing is more important.

-Brent

31 Days :: Taming Pride

My children love to one-up each other. Do yours?

"I got in the van first."
"I have read that book before."
"I ate all of my dinner."
"Oh, I've already done that."

{head shaking} Pride, pride, pride, pride, pride, pride, pride.

David writes, "Surely I was sinful from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." Psalm 51:5

My sweet boys came into this world full of pride. Bless their little hearts, its just in their make-up. It's in mine, too. The Holy Spirit, however, is more than able to tame this ugly trait.

I can't make my children be humble. I can only help them identify their high "self-regard" and point them to Christ.

"Ooooh, buddy. I hear pride talking. Let's operate in humility, please. The Bible says, 'Be peaceable and considerate, and show true humility toward all men. (Titus 3:2)'"

"Yes, ma'am."

Pride will get a token lost in the Crenshaw home. It often opposes the Honor Each Other rule.

I pray the boys will learn to recognize pride when it rears its head. And let's just say we have many opportunities throughout the day to work on this one.

Jesus is the best example of humility - ever. I tell my kids, "Jesus operated out of a place of deep humility. He always does. He doesn't strut into our lives, barking orders and demanding His way. No, he draws us near, gently, bringing us to repentance with kindness. He gives us mercy. Everyday."

Charles Spurgeon says, "If we would live properly, it must be by the contemplation of His death; if we would rise to dignity, it must be by considering His humiliation and sorrow."

His death was motivated by deep love for us, sacrifice, obedience to the Father and humility.

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Galatians 6:4

Jesus is the only thing we can take pride in.

If you have missed any of our 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook series, click here to catch up. Invite a friend to join us!

Coming soon...
-What does Scripture say about the Strong-Willed Child?
-Disciplining outburst of anger
-Coping with Nightmares

Let me know if you have any ideas for this series, too. I'd love to hear.

31 Days :: The Power of Love

Yesterday, I walked into the living room to find two angry little boys wrestling it out in the floor. Classic case of "You're sitting too close to me." and "Well, I can't see. Move over." It's amazing how quickly words turn into kicky feet and smacking hands around here. Before you know it, feelings are hurt, fists are flying and tears are falling.

I am learning that my boys' first response to working through conflict is hashing it out in living room floor. Being raised amongst all girls, this is new to me. Girls find that grudge holding a slamming doors is much more effective. Ahem.

"Boys. Out of the floor right now. Grant you are here. Ethan you are here. Separate couches. Now, tell me what happened."

I sometimes laugh inwardly at this question. I suppose I'm wanting to hear, "Mommy, we are fallen man. Adam should have stopped Eve. That fruit should have never been eaten. But they did eat it and now we desperately need Jesus."

That would be easier to work with than, "But Grant was in the way and I couldn't see the game and he pushed me and I pushed him back and....."

"Now, I want you all to look at each other and apologize." Simultaneously -"Sorry Grant/Ethan. I forgive you."

But sour faces still remained and I could see Grant mentally recording this one on his 'How I've Been Wronged' list."

"Guys, you all love each other. You're the best of friends. Let's take a minute to celebrate one another. Grant...look at Ethan and tell him one thing you love so much about him."

He turned his pinched face to me.

"Go on. One thing you love."

Love covers a multitude of sin. 1 Peter 4:8

"O.K. Ethan, I love it that you'll play football with me."

{Grins coming on}

Ethan's tiny voice replied, "Yeah. You're pretty good. I love it that Grant is a good reader."

{Full giggles}

They don't like this little exercise. But they love this little exercise.

Covers (kalyptō) - not to regard. To hinder the knowledge of a thing.

Wow. Read that again. Love hinders the knowledge of sin. Love disregards an offense.

Huey Lewis was right, "That's the Power of Love."

Do you see what happened? Love covered up their silly offenses toward each other. Love disregarded their wrong doing.

And upon asking His forgiveness, Jesus' love disregards our sin, too. He could easily pinch his face and keep record of all our wrong against Him. But he pardons us. His knowledge of our sin is hindered. He remembers it no more. As far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12)

Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Love covers a multitude of sin. 1 Peter 4:8

Have you been wronged by someone? Today, will you ask Jesus to fill you with His great love and affection for that person? Wrongdoing does not stand a chance in light of His love.

For other posts of 31 Days in the Parenting Handbook click here.

31 Days :: A Time to Beat-Box

Yesterday was practically perfect.

I woke up to hear that the Cardinals won. I went for an early run and watched the most stunning sunrise (note: all the decorative scarecrows are quite alarming when it is dark- be prepared). The boys played flag football and won their games - a first for both. Family came into town. We went to a birthday party complete with Karate and chocolate covered Oreo suckers. I cleaned out closets and prepared for colder weather. We watched SEC football and ate tacos.

My heart was full and happy.

But in the midst of this fun-filled day, there was a moment of hustle and bustle here and there. The birthday party was time sensitive so after our flag football games, I needed to prepare lunch, run out to buy a present and get the kiddos to where they needed to be.

As I was scurrying around the kitchen, Grant was right there with me. Wanting to help, but a bit in the way. He was so very excited about winning his game. He was a "hyper monkey" as Brent likes to say. Which is all fine. I was excited for him, too. But I needed to do things quickly.

And can I just tell you how beat-boxing has made a comeback at the Crenshaw residence? I seriously need to call The Electric Company at PBS and say "Thanks a lot for keeping the beat-box alive."

I don't mind that my boys love to beat box. It is very funny actually. However, it can be quite annoying if your not "in the mood" for beat-boxing.

And yesterday, scurrying around the kitchen, trying to get out the door again for a birthday party, I was not "in the mood" for beat-boxing.

"Grant, buddy, why don't you go upstairs with the beat-boxing. Or go outside perhaps. Mommy needs to think. There is a time for every manner under heaven...a time to keep silence and a time to speak (Ecc 3:1,7) In this case, a time to beat box and a time not to beat box. Right now would be a time not to beat box."

"OK. I'll go outside. Call me in when lunch is ready."

And that was that. Nothing elaborate. But a small teachable moment in the midst of a busy day.

Enjoy a restful Sabbath.

31 Days :: Say NO to the Toe

I was quite a scaredy-cat when Brent and I first married.

He will tell you, if I heard a bump in the night, I would wake him. We lived in a line of cookie-cutter condominiums. I was unfamiliar with the people and the area. And I am a firm believer that nothing good happens after midnight. Brent was becoming all too familiar with a tap on the shoulder and hearing my hushed, "Honey. I just heard something. Will get up to check?"

(How annoying I must have been.)

I am proud to say I have out grown this - for the most part. Or maybe having small children has left me so dog gone tired that even the boogie man would have a hard time waking me up.
But ask Brent about the first time I ever woke him with a nightmare. Now that will get a laugh.

I can't recall the dream itself, but I do remember how upset I was when I woke myself up out of it. Nudge nudge...{whisper} "Brent. Brent. I had a bad dream."

Nothing. No movement. Nothing.

Nudge again, "Brent. I had a bad dream. Honey?" Looking back, I don't know what I expected him to do. A hug? A snuggle? A little pat on the head? But I wanted him to know - I Had A Bad Dream.

Then, he gave a grunt. And consoled me in a way I had never been consoled before -- with his big toe.

Yes, you read that right. Under the covers, he took his big toe and rubbed my leg. My shin actually. Oh geez. Whew. I feel so much better now.

He and I laugh about it still. What empathy. What compassion his big toe showed me! Such consolation.

{laughing out loud}

Comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Fast forward almost ten years and three kids later. I see a lot of big toe rubbin' going on between our little boys, too.

Ethan falls and gets hurt. Grant just walks away. (Big toe rub)

Grant smashed his finger. Ethan barely acknowledges him. (Big toe rub)

Luke hits his head on the armoire door. The boys monotonely say, "Mom. Luke hit his head."(Big toe rub)

"Boys, let's practice compassion towards your brother. Walk over to him. Touch his shoulder. Get on his level. Ask him if he is OK. Put yourself in his place. Think about how he feels. Ask what you can do to help. Does he need ice? A band aid? A drink of water? The Bible says, "be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." (1 Peter 3:8) Let's do the Bible and show compassion."

I am not exaggerating. I have to step-by-step walk my kids through this. It does not come natural to them. Maybe this is a boy thing. Not sure.

But I am sure of this - Compassion is a Jesus thing. And it is important we get it.

"Be Compassionate": (sympathēs) suffering or feeling the like with another, sympathetic

I might have to implement a new motto around here: "Say NO to the Big Toe." How funny.

I am curious to know...do you all see this at your home, too? A lack of compassion amongst siblings? Is it just us?