I can be such a mean mommy.
Yesterday, ugh. I was just mean. It was day three of Brent being out of town. I was exhausted. We had been inside too long and the kids were restless. They were rowdy and just being boys. Which rarely bothers me.
Unless it is day three of no husband, I am exhausted and we've been inside too long.
Grant, my oldest, gets the worst of me. I suppose it's because he is more mature and can understand more. Maybe he gets my worst because we are sooo much alike and can butt heads like nobody's business. I don't know. No excuses. Bottom line is, I can be such a mean mommy.
Yesterday, what could have been a good, hearty moment of discipline for Grant turned south. Something about a fight over football cards and pushing his little brother. A slammed door. A bad attitude. And instead of talking him through it and giving discipline like a controlled, sane woman, I flew off the handle. Yelled. And put him in his room.
And forgot about him.
Sweet him. He was up there for over an hour.
When I remembered him, I walked up to find him in the floor, tinkering with some games he found under his bed. Quiet and sad.
"Grant, I am so sorry." I sat down on the bed. "I got so mad at you and yelled. Buddy, I shouldn't have. Mommy acted out of anger. Will you forgive me?"
Without a moment's hesitation, "Yes." He stood up and hugged me.
I squeezed him hard. He is getting so tall. Becoming a young man. "Mommy is sinful, too. I need Jesus so much."
"Yeah."
Then, as if nothing ever happened...."Hey mom, you want to see this new game I just made up with these poker chips? You stack them by color and then...."
Just like that. Forgotten.
He could have held that one against me. And I would have deserved it. The yelling. And leaving him in his room too long. But he forgave me and never mentioned it again.
For I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember their sin no more. Jeremiah 31:34
Grant's forgetfulness was in the likeness of His Creator. This moment in his bedroom - a picture of God's promise to me. God doesn't just forgive my sins. He forgets them. A concept almost too lofty for me.
Day Thirteen: Love Forgets
What hurt have you forgiven, but still hold onto? Is there a grudge hiding in your heart? Do you recount the pain? Do you recall the words that were spoken? Do you remember that moment as if it were yesterday? Have you forgiven, but can't forget? Well, I believe we can. Today, ask God to help you forget. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. Love forgets all offenses. This is a God-sized task. Impossible in our own efforts. Take a moment and pray about this. Release it to Him. Let's not allow our hurt to hold us captive today.
Sweet Father, thank you for this moment with Grant. Thank you for showing me a picture of your forgiveness and forgetfulness. Forgive me for harboring pain or unforgiveness in my heart. Help me forget any harm done to me. I want to love like You love. The forgetful kind of love. It is amazing that you "remember my sin no more." Amazing. I am unspeakably thankful. Let me forgive and forget in Your image. In Jesus Name, Amen...
Monday, February 13, 2012
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Made with graphic elements by Cori Gammon
Oh how I have been there with my son, too, Becky. It always amazes me how quickly he forgives me, hugs me & moves on. And inside I feel so horrible. :( I am so thankful for God's constant reminder of His love and forgiveness. Children can act like the devil some days but sure seem to know what it means to love and forgive as Christ did. Love you!
ReplyDeleteAren't kids the best! I know I've learned so much from mine! They do forget quite easily, & I'd do well to follow suit.
ReplyDeleteOh...I so needed this. Forgiveness is something God has been teaching me a lot about in the last few years...but the hardest thing for me was to first know that forgiving someone didn't mean I had to forget immediately. The forgetting sometimes takes time, because the pain can be so deeply rooted that we need God's help to slowly unravel it. But, the forgiveness comes first...and it's not about saying that the hurt/pain was right, but that we are releasing ourselves from the burden of that hurt/pain and no longer holding it in like a festering wound. And, it's about not holding that hurt/pain against a loved one...or even against someone we don't know well but still hold a grudge against. It's so hard and I know it's something I will never see the end of until heaven.
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