Tuesday, July 24, 2012

At Works In "Threes"

I couldn't stand it.   I just had to read those bright green sheets.  Right there.  Right then.

In the hallway of the conference center at She Speaks this past weekend.

My room was too far away.  And honestly, I didn't feel the need for privacy.  I mean, why would I need privacy?  The contents of my speaking evaluation sheets would be nothing but "wows!" and encouraging pats on the back. 

Last Friday evening I sat among ten other, spirit-filled, Jesus lovin', gifted speakers.  Our assignment was to give a three minute testimony.  A small piece of our God story.

Being a woman who is rarely at a loss for words, the only challenge was condensing myself to three minutes. Tricky.

I was much more nervous than I anticipated.  I would much prefer speaking to a room of three hundred women instead of ten.  Ten Jesus-lovin', gifted speakers, at that.  Did I mention that Zoe Elmore, a Proverbs 31 keynote speaker, was in there too?  Let me not forget her.

I wanted to speak first.  Desperate to get it over with and relax.  I hopped up and stood behind the large round podium.   Standing tall in front of ten other speakers.  All with evaluation sheets and glittery pens.  Twenty eyes.  All. On. Me.

Three minutes went quickly.  My story squeezed tight between the timer.  I sat down and gave the women a quiet chance to fill out my evaluation sheets.  A scale of 1 to 5.  One being the worst and five being best.  It didn't take them long.  I mean, how long does it take to circle a bunch of fives?  I heard a few scribbles.  I could only imagine... "Amazing!"  "Great Job!"  "You had me from hello."

I resisted the urge to peek at my sheets for an hour and a half.  But as soon as we were dismissed, I found a little space, right smack dab in the middle of the hallway, to read my scores.

With each thumbing through of green paper, my heart grew sad.  Four.  Three  Four. Three.

Apparently I said, "um" four times.  And I stare at the ceiling when I lose my train of thought. Who knew?  And my hair...it was in my eyes. I could use more inflection.  Did I mention I said, "um" four times.  Again. And again.  Um. Um. Um. Um.

But my material.  Wasn't it powerful enough to overcome the "ums"?  And my hair?


Apparently it is true.  Ninety-two percent of communication is non-verbal.

My heart sank into the the floor of that conference center.  Six hundred and forty-nine gifted women, walking all around me, going back to their rooms, apparently not misunderstanding God's call on their life.  Their calling to speak.  And write.

Had I missed God on this?

Did I misunderstand? "God...isn't this my calling?  To speak to women?  To ignite passion into the hearts of believers?  Have I missed You God?  Because all my threes and fours are not coinciding with what I thought I had heard from you...all these years."

I took my green papers back to my hotel room and tucked them away.  I really had no desire to look at them again that night.  Or ever.

I fell asleep within seconds.  Seriously, y'all.  Staying up until midnight will just about do this ol' girl in.  I slept like a rock.  And when I and woke up, my heart was as heavy as one.

Before I could even slide my feet into slippers, I heard His voice.  A quiet and clear impression.  Too loud to misunderstand.

"You came here for those threes, Becky."

My spirit leaned in.  Listening again.  God repeated...

"I brought you here for the threes."

I could have cried.  My pride bowing to this moment of sweet revelation from my Father.

I came for the threes and fours.

Not the fives.

I threw on my white robe and sat on the side of the bed.  Opening my Bible I turned to the concordance.

Flipping to the "H's" in the back.  I knew exactly the word to search.
HUMILITY.
Are you ready for this?  He took me straight to Proverbs.

The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.  Proverbs 15:33

It is so easy to seek, or even worse, expect praise when serving in the public eye.  Pats on the back and glory come easily to those up front.  And I will be the very first to raise my hand and say, It feels soooo good to hear sweet words of affirmation.  I love a good back pat.

But I can not ignore His instruction here in Proverbs.

Humility first.  Humility. Humility.  Humility. Then...honor.

In the words of the mother of Jesus herself,  "He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble." Luke 1:52

I seriously can not think of another human being who experienced honor after humility more than Mary.  A humble young woman, given the honor of birthing the Son of God.

I mean.

Honor follows humility.  

I took this Proverb and my big slice of humble pie back to the conference room on Saturday evening.  Ready to give my second presentation.  A five minute teaching talk.  

But truth be known, I was the one learning.  A hands-on exercise... practicing my Father's instruction.

Humility comes before honor.

At the podium I stood again, honored to be in the same room with these outstanding women of God,  honored to teach God's Word, honored to be his child and extremely humbled to be a part of this event. 

I opened my mouth in faith that HE would speak.

And He did.  Bless the Lord and give HIM the fives.  He speaks a powerful message.

Every time.

When I make myself low, He is lifted up.  When I die, He lives.  When I am weak, He is strong.

When I am humble... God is honored.

God has a history of working in threes.  A set of three, actually.

And aren't we thankful?

Today, let us be thankful for the "threes" in our lives.  

He is working in the midst of them.

This is my amazing group.  So. Honored. To. Know. Them.

And there's Mrs. Zoe Elmore, herself.  Loved this lady.

Thank you for all of your prayers.  Love...

8 comments:

  1. What a great thing to be a part of!

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  2. Becky, what a blessing to read of how God met you right where you were at- leading you and guiding you- although I know it must have been a bit painful! I appreciate you, dear friend!
    Jessica

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  3. Wow! Thank you for your honesty and sharing about humility! How beautiful how God works. Speaks to my heart...

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  4. Sweet friend, this is your new She Speaks friend - the one you met a week ago today! I can't believe how the week has flown. Boy, have I felt the same wonderings about my calling this week. It came later for me, after I was alone. You were such a blessing last weekend to me, though, and spoke this very truth into my life. Thank you for that, and I am so happy we met. I hope we can stay in touch in the online world. :-)

    Blessings to you!!

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  5. Becky, I love the "Give Him the 5's". Such a great weekend and time with you! Love you friend!

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  6. Oh, and yes, I am at McDonalds. : )

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  7. I love this. You are so honest. Keep on Becky Crenshaw. God will get you where He wants you to be, from the 3's to the 4's to the 5's. And honestly, it doesn't matter if you're speaking a '3' in someone else's eyes. If your eyes are on God, he's giving you a '5'.

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  8. Oh how I loved to read this and to hear the purity in your heart! I absolutely loved getting to know you! You are truly talented and please don't ever stop speaking on HIS behalf!!!!

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