Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Summertime Sanity #2 - Setting Objectives and Family Rules

The countdown to summer is on and I am feeling the need to write.

Usually I post every other day or so, but time is of the essence. I want to walk into this next week with all my spiritual guns loaded. Ready for the challenge. Feeling prepared. Armed for potential battle.

Monday night Brent took me on a little date. Not a "fancy dress and flowers" type of date. No, it was a "Crenshaw Summer Planning" date. I remember when Grant was little, I had a friend that had three children. She and her husband would take a weekend away, just the two of them, and they would plan their entire year. They would map out goals for their marriage, themselves, each child, school, vacation plans...everything. Then they would pray it all through. Together. Isn't that awesome? I thought, "Wow. Now those are some organized people."

Well, here I am...three kids later. Doing the same thing (for our summer, at least). Its not that I am super organized. I just see why its NECESSARY to do it. There is so much to think and pray through.

Summertime Sanity #2
So yesterday, we went over step one - pray. So good. It sounds like a no brainer, but I can honestly say I wasn't really praying about the summer to come. So, step one - Check.

Today, we are going to think through Step #2 -objectives for our summer.

What is a summer objective? It is simply what you would like to accomplish this summer. What would you like to see happen in your family? What would you like to see happen in your relationships with your children and your spouse. What goals do you want to set for yourself?

So Brent and I divided the objectives into three categories:

* Objectives related to our children (our main summer emphasis)
* Objectives related to our mates
* Objectives related to ourselves

SINGLES, STUDENTS or EMPTY NESTERS - Listen here. Don't check out just because I am talking about children. This applies to you, as well. What can we pray through to make the most of these next three months? What goals can you set Spiritually? Personally? Relationally?

Here is what Brent and I wrote out:

Children:

1. To add more focus on character development. (I have a workbook called Lessons in Responsibility for Boys. I got it at the Christian bookstore. Lots of good basic lessons, scripture memory, activities, etc. We will use it as part of our morning routine.)
2. Create a deeper sense of responsibility (i.e. taking initiative with chores)
3. More emphasis on their relationships to one another (Crenshaw Family House Rules)
4. Create a greater sense of "team".
5. To be enjoyably present with our children
6. Build individual time for each child (mommy and daddy dates)
7. Establish family worship some evenings (a little more that just reading a Bible story at bed.)
8. Each child have book time. Read everyday! Grant one hour. Less for the younger boys.

Marriage:

1. Regular date nights! Even if we don't go out. Be intentional and creative. (Sit on the deck once the kids go down. Rent a date night movie. etc... )
2. Kiss more often (blush). A little kiss goes a long way! Some days, seriously, a kiss at bedtime could be it for us! Not cool.


Personally:

Becky-
1. Read as many books as possible this summer
2. Run outside 2-3 days a week (verses inside)
3. Bloggy balance :)

Brent-
1. Read as many books as possible
2. Have morning quiet times vs later in the day
3. Lose ten pounds :)

There you have 'em. ~The Crenshaw Family Summer Objectives~ It is so good to rewrite them! As always, we give ourselves lots of grace and plans will change. But it is a good starting place for us.

How to establish family rules:
OK - So I said yesterday that I was going to share how we come up with the Crenshaw Family House Rules.

It was definately time to renew to our rules based on the current needs of our kids. The areas that once needed focus, aren't such a problem these days. Our boys (and the problems they face) are always changing.

First, Brent and I made a list and titled it "Our Family Issues."

1. Fighting
2. Whining
3. Not listening
4. Not obeying quickly
5. Not being compassionate to each other
6. Laziness - not working diligently

Well, I did not want to have six rules. Less is more. So we came up with four rules that cover lots of ground. I also wanted to have positive wording vs "DON'T DO THIS. or NO FIGHTING".

Also, Scripture is authority in our home. So once we came up with our rules, we sought out applicable scripture for the boys to memorize.


Rule 1 - Obey quickly and completely.
"Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother." Ephesians 6:1,2

Rule 2 - Honor each other.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

Rule 3 - Be agreeable.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God." Philippians 2:14,15

Rule 4 - Work Hard.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord." Colossians 3:23

Well, there you have it. We'll see how it all goes. We will be presenting the new rules to the boys this week. This is nothing they haven't heard necessarily, but I want them to know that this is what is expected of them for the summer and the months to follow. They really thrive with boundaries and structure.

Disclaimer: I don't really know what I'm talking about. :) I have no idea how this will all turn out. Know that I do not view myself as any authority on child rearing! Lord help us all. I just want to chronicle the journey the Lord has for our family...in hopes it would bless someone. If nothing else, it might make you feel better about yourself (Well, at least I'm not as messed up as that Joyful Java lady).

Is anybody out there interested in doing this along side the Crenshaws? I'd love to know.

7 comments:

  1. Hey Bec! Thanks for calling tonight. Good to chat if even for a minute. :) I walked at Anchor Park yesterday and missed having you there!! Good news = The new re-posts came through on Google Reader super-fast tonight. Not sure what you did, but looks like it worked. Looking forward to more Sanity - might be ordering that one myself...

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  2. Hey Becky!

    I'm so excited! I read these "rules" to Tom today, on his way to work, and he LOVED them! We are going to print them out on nice paper and frame them, then we're going to place them on our kitchen counter for daily reference and scripture n=memory!

    Thanks for sharing your journey!

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  3. I agree with Dawn. I want to print out those rules and hang up for my boys to see all summer!! Thanks for sharing and will be reading your blogs from now on (since I just found you!!)

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  4. YAY Linda! I'm so thankful you are reading!! I am honored!

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  5. This is so inspiring and encouraging. I have been planning little things for weeks wanting to be more purposeful this summer! Thanks for sharing such great ideas!! :)

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  6. Girl, you are an inspiration! I'm blessed by reading your blog and fortunate to work with you too.

    Your organization is helping me look at my summer planning through a different lense. Thank you for sharing.

    Rebekah

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  7. Becky,
    Could you please get out of my head and stop looking at my life and blogging about it! Ok, so DON'T stop but isn't it funny how I could have written this exact blog in regards to the biggest problems that you have with the boys. We struggle with the exact same things enough so that I have totally stolen your family rules!

    Thank you for being such an inspiration. You seriously are fabulous.

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