A Winner {and a prayer request}

Good Wednesday morning! Or should I say WIN-esday!! Yes, we have a winner for our Girlfriend's Guidebook: Navigating Female Friendships. Thank you all for you sweet comments. I hope you told your besties that you bragged on them. It was fun for me to read through each comment and thank the Lord alongside you.
In summary, here are a few of your words that described the friendships in your life: "Generous, kind-hearted, loves me with all of my flaws, encouragement, inspiration, my rock, right by my side, prayer warrior, as loyal as they come, Godly, gifts to me, they love me no matter how much of a mess I am."

Mmm. Sounds like a God thing to me. Love it.

So with no further ado...thank you random.org for choosing the winner this morning. Drum roll.....here is the chosen comment:

"I'm thankful for my sweet twin sister Kim, long time friend robin, and new friend Mary. they are all gifts in my life and are co-walkers with me on my journey with Jesus. true blessings! Jennifer M."

Jennifer M! You won!! Congrats! If you would please, post a comment at the bottom of this page with your email (I won't publish it) and I will contact you! Fun.

So. Before I go, can I ask you all a big blogspere friend favor?

Since Sunday, my five-year-old has been very sick with severe abdominal cramping and vomiting. We've been to his pediatrician and the ER twice. After every test known to man, they have all concluded he has a mean, nasty virus.

Yesterday afternoon, I thought we were out of the woods. After an "anything to make him happy" trip to the store, he enjoyed a Madden 12 rental from Blockbuster, Jell-O, Popsicles, cheese balls and watching Cars 2. He drank and ate and seemed a whole lot merrier.

Until - during the night he vomited, yet again. Again!

As most of you are parents, you know how hard to watch your children suffer in pain. I wish I could bear it all for him. But what I can do is intercede for him, take authority over this ugly thing and bear the weight in prayer. Mama Bear is all riled up this mornin'.

I have left you all with a few scriptures on healing. We all need this at some point, don't we? God's Word is alive and active. It brings life and healing. I am standing in faith over my little Ethan. Will you stand with me today? I would appreciate your prayers.

Have a blessed day, in Jesus Name.
-Becky

(Psa 41:1-3 NIV) Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. {2} The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. {3} The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.

(Psa 91:14-16 NIV) “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. {15} He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. {16} With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

(Psa 103:1-5 NIV) Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. {2} Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits– {3} who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, {4} who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, {5} who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

(Prov 4:20-22 NIV) My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. {21} Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; {22} for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.

(Isa 53:4-5 NIV) Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. {5} But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

(Isa 54:17 NIV) No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.

(Phil 4:6-7 NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. {7} And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Heb 4:16 NIV) Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

(Heb 13:8 NIV) Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

(James 4:7 NIV) Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

(James 5:14-16 NIV) Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. {15} And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. {16} Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

(1 Pet 2:24 NIV) He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

(1 John 5:14-15 NIV) This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. {15} And if we know that he hears us–whatever we ask–we know that we have what we asked of him.

(3 John 1:2 NIV) Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

The Beauty Of Broken Pieces

My mother was a bargain shopper. A wheelin-dealin', card carryin', bona fide, clearance queen. No matter if it fit or matched - if it was 65% off she could make it work.

I loved this about her.

Spring 2002, Brent and I were nearing the Big Day. We had spent hours registering for dinnerware, Tupperware, Corningware, underwear - if it ended in -ware we registered for it. We were quite proud of ourselves, I do say. Young, in love and so excited about our choices.

I remember the day well. The day mama came over after a trip to Belk. She and Mamaw had been shopping. Bargain shoppin'.

"Look what I found on clearance. I bought you and Brent a set. These are Lenox."

With a proud smile, she held up a box of dishes. Cream and country-blue, striped dishes. Yes, they were Lenox, but they were cream and country-blue. And striped. Not what I wanted or would have chosen.

Not wanting to pop her bargain bubble, I thanked her and thought to myself, I will shelve them and cross my fingers someone buys what is on our registry. And a few someones did. Friends and family bought piece after piece, completing the set of my chic and classy white dishes.

But come March 12, 2005, my chic and classy white dishes paled in comparison to the beauty of those cream colored Lenox dishes. That country-blue stripe had never been more meaningful.

To this day, mama is a part of mealtime. I like to think of her serving up oatmeal and cereal for breakfast. Macaroni and chicken at dinner. Those clearance dishes - now of intangible worth.

Last Friday night, after a lazy woman served up some Ragu and noodles to her three little boys, she turned to put a bowl in the sink. And the bowl slipped right out of her hand onto the hardwood floor. It hit just right. And broke into ungluable pieces.

I knelt and in slow motion picked up each piece.

Grant came behind me, "Was that bowl precious?"

Precious. His wording poignant.

"Yes, honey. This bowl was precious. My mama bought it for me."

"Your mama Darlene? Wasn't that her name? Darlene?" Ethan asked.

"Yes. Darlene."

Ethan -"How do you spell that? D-A-R.. How does the rest go, mom?"

Her name sounded sweet in my home. And as I picked up the broken pieces of my bowl, the Lord picked up the broken pieces of my heart. Those little voices remembering the grandmother they never knew.

We talked of her Friday night. For a good long while. And I was thankful.

The brokenness of my bowl bringing back the beauty of her memory.

Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Matthew 6:19-20

And she is there. A treasure awaiting me in heaven. Her embrace serving satisfaction that no cream colored, country-blue striped plate could offer.

One day, we will feast together again.

Not on discounted Lenox dishes, but on divine dinnerware, set for us at a the table of the Most High God.

A family reunion my mind can not conceive. My RSVP confirmed. A party I will not miss.

Until then, her memory lives on. I see her in the smiles of my children, in the clearance aisle at Belk, in the three Lenox bowls left in my kitchen cabinet.

And in the quiet places of my heart.

Hallways of Regret: A Guest Post

As I am planning for an upcoming speaking event, my dear friend Sue has been gracious enough to guest post on Cup Of Joe today. Full of the Holy Spirit, wife and mom of three, Sue writes an incredible blog at LivingFreeInHim.blogspot.com. This post, Hallways of Regret, spoke to quiet places in my heart. Have a great day my friends. I am so glad that we are Living Free In Him today. - Becky

Hallways of Regret

Last weekend, I went to a play at my old high school. Nineteen years have passed since I last walked those hallways.

Emotions stirred up in me as I opened the once familiar door. Ahead was a long hall full of past memorabilia with cases of trophies and plaques covering the walls. Countless basketball, football, track, tennis team pictures from the 1960's to present lined the hallway. As I walked a few steps, I saw the band room door. That had been where I had spent a majority of my high school years.

High school should be some of the best times and happiest memories of childhood. For me, looking back can be painful. God has healed me and redeemed my past, but memories did haunt me as I stood there in that hallway looking in the gym. Writing this is even difficult because I don't like looking back. There were some fun times, but the bad decisions I made and the people I hurt overshadow the fun times.

I know, I know...don't regret, you wouldn't be the same person you are today if you hadn't made those mistakes. Maybe not, but I still regret. I still wish I would have made better choices. I know I can't go back and change the past, but I wish I could.

Although going back in time isn't an option, God is so good and He makes all things new. We just have to choose to follow Him. His path leads to restoration.

And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. Isaiah 61:4

It doesn't matter if your family has a history of pain, regret, or shame. When you received the Lord, you entered into a new family.....a family of hope, healing, life, joy, peace. God wants you to have a beautiful life, and you have the opportunity to change the history of your family for the generations to follow! How incredible is that!

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.

Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice;

I hate robbery for sacrifice; I will direct their work in truth, and will make with them an everlasting covenant.

Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people.

All who see them shall acknowledge them, That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed. Isaiah 61: 7-8

The Lord wants to restore our broken past and rebuild our broken dreams. When the Lord restores, others notice a difference. We get a beautiful life and God gets the glory.

Everyday we are faced with hallways. We get to choose which hallway we will go down:



Hallway of Rebellion: Rebellion leads to regret. When we do not follow the Lord, when we choose rebellion and to follow our flesh, we will not like the end result. Our flesh may like it temporarily and we may feel justified in the moment, but the pain of regret will come.

The whole book of Isaiah is an example of this....the Isrealites rebelled against the Lord and the Lord pleaded with them to return to Him. Their rebellion led to their captivity. Sustained rebellion always leads to captivity.

This past week, I struggled with rebellion. It was in the area of following authority. My flesh wanted to do one thing, but the Lord kept whispering rebellion leads to regret. I wish I could say I did the right thing all the time. I did listen to the Lord eventually, I am so thankful for His mercy.

Hallway of Righteousness: Righteousness has a funny ring to it. It seems unattainable, but it is ours. Jesus Christ has made us righteous. When we rebel we are actually rebelling against who we are in Christ.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, My soul shall be joyful in my God;

For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness. ( I love that!)

As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the earth brings forth its bud, As the garden causes things that are sown in it to spring forth, So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
Isaiah 61: 10-11

So, if rebellion leads to regret, what does righteousness lead to?

Righteousness leads to reaching. When we display the character of Christ, when we act like Christ, we draw others to Him. When we rebel, we damage our witness.

Everyday we have the opportunity to decide which hallway we will go down. It doesn't matter where we have walked in the past. Our past does not determine our destiny. We are not defined by our past mistakes. We may regret some of them, but that regret can be turned into restoration. God takes our old ruins and rebuilds them into something beautiful for Him.

Which hallway will you choose today? Do you also have a something in your past that you regret? Will you give it to the Lord? He gives us comfort for mourning, beauty for ashes, joy for despair, praise instead of a spirit of heaviness.....will you also let Him give you restoration for regret?

-Sue @ LivingFreeInHim.blogspot.com

A Crying Woman On Easter

As a little girl, Easter was a little uncomfortable for me.

First of all, the 1980's was the Era of Awkward Easter Dresses. Stiff and frilly. We were made to wear over-sized hats (which no one really ever wears).

Add to that a corsage. A large Easter Orchid.

(Let me say that a six-year-old needs not to be in such close relations with two large stick pins.)

And new shoes. I would always have on new shoes. Usually white patten. Stiff. And uncomfortable.

In the eighties, you wore pantyhose. I didn't matter if you were six or seventy-six, you wore pantyhose.

But what made me the most uncomfortable about Easter was it was the one time of year that we went to church as a family.

Mom. And Dad. Both.

I remember feeling the pressure of pretending I didn't know how unusual it was that we were going to church as a family.

I was taught to be a very good actress at a very early age.

One Easter in particular, my mother wore a rayon and polyester turquoise dress. Tan hose. Turquoise shoes. An Easter Orchid. And a very large hat.

I have told you before, woman could sing. And there we'd stand, hymnal in hand, and the pastor would ask us to turn to the lovely hymn, "Because He Lives."

One of my favorites of all time.

But it, too, made me a bit uncomfortable.

I couldn't understand why that hymn made mama cry.

She would sing, as loud as her Aretha voice could carry, tears running down her face.

Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

In this memory, mama was about my age now. Mid to late thirties. Two young girls. And hindsight tells me, she was on the brink of a very imminent divorce.

And there they stood together. The one Sunday a year.

So much hope must have encompassed this day.

She knew Jesus held the future. She had no reason to fear. But how hard.

And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory - and I'll know He lives.

Now that she has crossed the river and fought life's war with pain, I wish I could hear her sing these words again.

I wish I could tell her how much healing the Lord has brought to our family. And to my dad.

I wish I could tell her that every word of this hymn is true. Life is so worth living because He lives.

She had no reason to cry.

But she already knows all of that now. She knows He lives.

So, instead, I will tell you.

One day, death will give way to victory. All suffering will cease.

Life is worth living, because He lives.

What would make you cry today? Fear? Change? Loss? Divorce? Suffering?

This too shall pass. Victory is yours. Both in this life and in the one to come.

Because He Lives.

Put your faith in this precious King. Jesus. Who bore the cross. Who became your sin. Who went to hell and ascended to Heaven.

Because of His great love for you.

Friend, life is worth the living, just Because He Lives.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Because He Lives
- Anne Graham Lotz, The Joy of My Heart

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. John 10:11

Real meaning to your life is found in the glorious dawn of God's story, which breaks into full revelation in the Person of Jesus Christ. What an astounding truth! What a life-changing message!

Because He emptied Himself of all but love, you can be filled.

Because His body was broken, your life can be whole.

Because His blood was shed, your sin can be forgiven.

Because He submitted to injustice, you can forgive.

Because He finished His Father's work, your life has worth.

Because He was forsaken, you will never be alone.

Because He was buried, you can be raised.

Because He lives, you don't have to be afraid.

Because He was raised, you can be strong.

Because He reached down to you, you don't have to work your way up to Him.

Because His promises are always true, you can have Hope!

Praise God for just giving us Jesus!

I Want To Be The "One"

Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. - Luke 17:15,16

Ten lepers healed. But only one turned back to say thank you to Jesus.

Only one who returned to say thank you for answering their prayer - a prayer that there is NO TELLING how long the lepers had prayed.

Heal me, Lord. Help us, Lord. We need you, Lord. Make us clean, Lord. And as soon as the Lord answered them....

Only one.

How often am I the nine?

I ask and pray and pray and ask. I cry out. I put my faith in the only One who can heal, help and make me clean. And then as soon as He does -

Silence.

Oh, Lord Jesus, forbid it.

I want to be a thankful woman, Lord. I want to be hyper-sensitive to your blessing...so I can offer you thanks and give you the GLORY you deserve.

I want to be the thankful one, who once healed, turned back and fell on his face at your feet.

Don't we do this? Forget to thank Him?

If you read the entirety of this leper story (Luke 17:11-19), it is evident how sad the unthankful nine made Jesus. "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?" (v.17)

Let us be a thankful people. Let us be the "ones" today.

"This morning, I turn back to say thank you, Jesus, and praise You for _______________."

How would you fill in the blank today? Leave a comment.

"This morning, I turn back to say thank you, Jesus, and praise You for answering every prayer I prayed over the retreat last weekend. Thank you for the opportunity to spend a weekend with such an amazing body of believing, solid, beautiful women. Thank you for your Word, that is powerful and healing. Thank you that it never returns empty (Is. 55:11). Thank you for penetrating our hearts. Thank you for knitting our souls as one. I love you, Jesus. I wish I could explain just how much."

Fellowship Bible Church Women's Retreat 2011

Today Is A Big Day - Pray.

Cancer: noun. a malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis B) an abnormal bodily state marked by such tumors C)something evil or malignant that spreads destructively.

I believe I can say, in 100% confidence, that everyone I know has been affected by this word.

Everyone reading this.

Everyone you know.

Everyone I know.

Somehow.

Everyone.

There are few things in this life I say "I hate."

I hate cancer.

There. I said it.

But today is a day, set apart for prayer.

Intercession: noun. prayer, petition, or entreaty in favor of another.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Today I, approach the throne of grace, with confidence, interceding on behalf of a sweet sister in Christ. Petitioning in her favor. For healing.

Some of you reading know my friend and her situation. You also know today is a big day. I have attached Scripture to pray on her behalf.

For those of you that don't know her, these Scriptures are available for you, too. For your loved ones. For yourself.

Be blessed today. And well.

In Jesus Name.

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.- Isaiah 58:8 (NIV)

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.- 1 Peter 2:24(NIV)

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases- Psalm 103:2-3(NIV)

My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.- Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]- Matthew 11:28 (Amplified)

With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.- Psalm 91:16 (NIV)

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. -Psalm 118:17

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.- Isaiah 61:7 (NIV)

To all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.- Isaiah 61-3 (NLT)

Then his flesh is renewed like a child's; it is restored as in the days of his youth. {26} He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God's face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state. - Job 33:25-26

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. - Psalm 43:5 NIV

Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. {18} They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. {19} Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. {20} He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. {21} Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. - Psalm 107:17-21 NIV

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. {7} Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. {8} This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. - Proverbs 3:6-8 NIV

Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. {17} Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. - Isaiah 38:16-17

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. {5} But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. {6} We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. - Isaiah 53:4-6

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? {7} Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? {8} Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. {9} Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, {10} and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. {11} The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. - Isaiah 58:6-11

A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." {3} Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. -Matthew 8:2-3 NIV

When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. {17} This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases." -Matthew 8:16-17 NIV

And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him {36} and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed. -Matthew 14:35-36 NIV

Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. {15} And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. {16} Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. -James 5:14-16 NIV

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. -3 John 1:2 NIV

In Spite of Cussing and Southern Comfort

There was a time in my life when I stood outside, looking in on the Christian way of life.

I was an onlooker.



Through the window I could see joy, deep joy, peace, freedom, authentic laughter and meaningful friendships. Christians were fascinating to watch.

But I was just that...a watcher. An outsider.

By choice.

I thought that the Christian life was reserved for those who were good. People who made clean choices. People who didn't cuss. Or drink Southern Comfort.

But as fascinated as I was with the Christian life, I was equally convinced that it was restrictive, dull, condemning and judgemental. And who wants to enter a room full of people looking down their noses?

These people will see right through me. They would have my number. There is no room for people like me. They wouldn't understand me. No, it's too risky. I'll stay out here. Alcohol, sex, body image, envy, money -much safer. Out here, I don't have to change. I am familiar with this side of the window.

Whoever loves his life loses it. - Jesus

Irony: By trying to gain acceptance from my peers, I was losing. By trying to gain affection from the opposite sex, I was losing. By trying to gain attention with my sexuality, I was losing.

Losing (apollymi)- to destroy. Render useless. Be lost.

I was destroying my own life. One day after useless day, I was loving a lost life.

Whoever hates his life in this world will keep it. - Jesus

Hate my life (miseō) meaning to love less. Postpone in love.

Love my life less and I will love it more.

Quite the paradox.

Overtime, I kept coming back to that window. Standing outside. Looking in.

And the more I stood there, the more clearly I could see my reflection. My tired face. My weary spirit. My emptiness.

My side of the glass was looking less and less appealing.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. - Jesus

I needed rest. My lifestyle wore me out. People pleasing is exhausting.

OK. On a trial basis, I will walk in. Just to see what is really going on in there. At this point what do I have to lose?

Except everything?

So I stood amongst them. The Christians. Waiting, with clinched fists and squinted eyes, for the stones to hit. Waiting on my lecture of why I don't belong.

But instead, they opened my hands, and handed me stones. Stones of their own. One story after another of their struggles with money, sex, body image, lying, cheating, stealing, hatred, bitterness, envy, cussing and Southern Comfort.

Struggles. Present tense.

So. They aren't perfect?

No. But they have hope. And rest.

They have Jesus.

Whoever loves his life loses it and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12:25

Its seemed like a risk. Giving up all I knew, for this Jesus. This God who asks me to hate my life, so I can love Him more.

To love myself less, so I can love myself more.

For something that doesn't make sense, that sure does make sense.

My trial run of Jesus, became a lifetime pursuit.

A pursuit of this God who died for sex, drugs and rockin' roll.

A pursuit of this God who loved me, in spite of cussing and Southern Comfort.

A pursuit of this God who gives my weary soul rest. Who makes my tired eyes light.

A pursuit of this God who called me to hate my life - to love it less. So I may keep it.

Eternally.

Whatever we give up, He will replenish.

Whatever we lose, He will restore.

He is worth the risk.

...With Sober Judgement...

Rebuke.

"The word itself doesn't sound very kind. But it is. Rebuke is meant to help you see yourself with accuracy." - Ted Tripp

Looking at myself with accurate eyes can be painful. And ugly.

But this week the Lord is guiding me through the mucky waters of my inner self; reviewing the attitudes and intentions of my heart with sober judgement. And He's revealing hidden sin. Still.

For by the grace given me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment. Romans 12:3

I am not feeling condemnation. But, instead, love and freedom.

Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves. Hebrews 12:6

It is grace in my life that the Lord allows me to see my sin. It is grace that He doesn't leave me to myself.... to self destruct. But he rescues me, heals me and calls me His own.

He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His Holiness. Hebrews 12:10b

Read that again.

He wants me to share in His holiness. Me?

Yes. Me.

And you.

"Anytime your Lord opens your eyes to see evil for what it is and anytime he exposes your self sufficiency for what it is, he is wrapping arms of faithful redemptive love around you. Love warns, love rebukes." - T. Tripp

If examining yourself with sober judgement, what would the Lord open your eyes to see?

Let us share in His holiness today.

He Heals the Broken Heart - Really.

Friday night, the telephone rang and woke me from a sound sleep.

11:44p.m.

My dad was driving to my house from Virginia. He should have arrived around midnight.

He never made it.

"Becky, its about your dad. He's had an episode while driving into town. He had to stop. We think he's had a heart attack."

The heart.

Arguably, the single most important organ in the human body.

A muscular pump, which forces blood through thousands of miles of blood vessels. Beating approximately 72 times per minute. The heart pumps blood, which carries all the vital materials which help our bodies function and removes the waste products that we do not need. It carries food and oxygen to every part of the body. The heart pumps an average of 1.5 gallons of blood every minute, and in one day pumps enough blood to fill more than 50-gallon drums. An astounding organ.

If the heart ever ceases to pump blood, the body begins to shut down and after a very short period of time will die.

I often speak of the heart with such disregard.

This makes my heart break.

I love you with all my heart.

My heart hurts for you.

You make my heart glad.

Or as my Dad has always said to me... "Becky, you make my heart soar like a hawk."

Oh, I wish I really had such power now.

To make his heart soar. To make his heart do anything....well.

But I have no power. No power to heal. Only God.

He is the heart healer. He does the impossible. - Matthew 19:26

So I pray.

I love this man. Bill Rhodes. My sweet daddy. We are very close.

My heart - broken. And scared.

Suddenly and very uncomfortably aware of his mortality.

And overwhelmed by my affection for him.

Five days and four nights in the hospital. The doctors trying to conclude what actually happened to him Friday night on I-81.

He did not have a heart attack. Hallelujah.

But he does have blockage.

But let me tell you a story about the human body. It is an amazing thing.

The pinnacle of God's creation (Gen. 1:26-27).

My dad's body, took a lemon and made lemonade. My dad's body, took a blocked artery and sprouted new vessels. Desperate to get blood and oxygen to the heart, it made, for itself, a secondary route. A new pathway to get what it needs. They are called Collateral Vessels.

Now, I am no doctor. I know that this sometimes can happen. But these "new veins" are nothing short of a miracle. A miracle. Dad's body didn't make these vessels, God did.

He does the impossible.

God took my dad's broken heart and is making it soar again. Like a Hawk.

On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness.
Psalm 145:5-6

This morning, I meditate on the splendor of His wondrous works. I speak (and blog) on the might of His awesome deeds. I declare His greatness today.

He is a miraculous God.

The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

The Lover of my heart.

And my Dad's.