Day Thirteen: Love Forgets

I can be such a mean mommy.

Yesterday, ugh. I was just mean. It was day three of Brent being out of town. I was exhausted. We had been inside too long and the kids were restless. They were rowdy and just being boys. Which rarely bothers me.

Unless it is day three of no husband, I am exhausted and we've been inside too long.

Grant, my oldest, gets the worst of me. I suppose it's because he is more mature and can understand more. Maybe he gets my worst because we are sooo much alike and can butt heads like nobody's business. I don't know. No excuses. Bottom line is, I can be such a mean mommy.

Yesterday, what could have been a good, hearty moment of discipline for Grant turned south. Something about a fight over football cards and pushing his little brother. A slammed door. A bad attitude. And instead of talking him through it and giving discipline like a controlled, sane woman, I flew off the handle. Yelled. And put him in his room.

And forgot about him.

Sweet him. He was up there for over an hour.

When I remembered him, I walked up to find him in the floor, tinkering with some games he found under his bed. Quiet and sad.

"Grant, I am so sorry." I sat down on the bed. "I got so mad at you and yelled. Buddy, I shouldn't have. Mommy acted out of anger. Will you forgive me?"

Without a moment's hesitation, "Yes." He stood up and hugged me.

I squeezed him hard. He is getting so tall. Becoming a young man. "Mommy is sinful, too. I need Jesus so much."

"Yeah."

Then, as if nothing ever happened...."Hey mom, you want to see this new game I just made up with these poker chips? You stack them by color and then...."

Just like that. Forgotten.

He could have held that one against me. And I would have deserved it. The yelling. And leaving him in his room too long. But he forgave me and never mentioned it again.

For I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember their sin no more. Jeremiah 31:34

Grant's forgetfulness was in the likeness of His Creator. This moment in his bedroom - a picture of God's promise to me. God doesn't just forgive my sins. He forgets them. A concept almost too lofty for me.

Day Thirteen: Love Forgets

What hurt have you forgiven, but still hold onto? Is there a grudge hiding in your heart? Do you recount the pain? Do you recall the words that were spoken? Do you remember that moment as if it were yesterday? Have you forgiven, but can't forget? Well, I believe we can. Today, ask God to help you forget. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. Love forgets all offenses. This is a God-sized task. Impossible in our own efforts. Take a moment and pray about this. Release it to Him. Let's not allow our hurt to hold us captive today.

Sweet Father, thank you for this moment with Grant. Thank you for showing me a picture of your forgiveness and forgetfulness. Forgive me for harboring pain or unforgiveness in my heart. Help me forget any harm done to me. I want to love like You love. The forgetful kind of love. It is amazing that you "remember my sin no more." Amazing. I am unspeakably thankful. Let me forgive and forget in Your image. In Jesus Name, Amen...

At The Feet Of Jesus {a new series}

One day last week, I stood brushing my teeth over on my side of the bathroom vanity. Brent stood at his sink, leaning towards the mirror and studying the length of his new facial hair.

With a toothbrush busy in my mouth, I muffled, "You about ready to shave that?"

"Babe. You know its November."

Ah, yes. November. For some this month means Thanksgiving and pumpkin pie. Daylight savings, left-over turkey, apple cider, falling leaves and fields full of hay bales.

But for my husband - "No Shave November."

He is now going on ten years of this, ahem, yearly tradition. Brent and all of his Bible study guys rebelling the razor for thirty (long) days. No offense to the bearded men, but I am not a facial hair type-a -gal. It's not that I mind the way a beard looks. Right handsome, I must say. But God has given me only one man to kiss on the mouth, and this is the one man. I personally prefer a less, well, abrasive surface.

"You better be careful over there, mister. No shave November, might become No Kiss November if that thing gets any more out of hand. {laugh}"

"Come on, beards are awesome. Even Jesus had one."

"True. But I'm called to kiss His feet, not necessarily His face."

When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. This woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." And he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." Luke 7:37,38,44-50

What is it, that would make this sinful woman, break open her finest jar of perfume and wash the feet of any man? Weeping, she unashamedly kissed the bare feet of Jesus, in the presence of many of the most intelligent, influential teachers of the day - The Pharisees. The Scribes. The leaders of the major Jewish sects.

What is it about the feet of Jesus? Why wouldn't she have brushed his hair or kissed his cheeks? Why does the Bible instruct us to sit at the feet of Jesus? How does this translate to us today - November 2011?

I want to know...What happens to us when we sit at the feet of our Savior?

I want to lean in and study myself in the mirror. Looking not at my face, but at the attitudes and intentions of my heart. I want to feel the hand of Jesus resting on my head. To hear him whisper to me, "Beloved, your sins are forgiven. Go in peace."

Do you need to hear this, too?

For several posts, leading up to Christmas, we will study this very thing: The believer's place at the feet of Jesus.

From those baby toes Mary must have kissed a hundred times to the beautiful feet that walked the road to Calvary - it is here we will see ourselves transformed, as one whose sins are forgiven.

Picture by "Glorifying's Profile" on Photo Bucket

"Dear God, Don't Let Me Be a DIVA."

Spring Break 2011 is coming to a close.

The family and I had the great privilege of staying a week with eighty college students in Daytona Beach, Florida.

It was so powerful. And I learned so much.

But what I learned, God didn't reveal during devotionals or morning quiet times scheduled for our students.

No. What I learned, the Lord taught me Tuesday night. During conflict with my husband.

Sitting in our room, on our somewhat sandy, hunter green couch, Brent and I had a little chat.

The boys played on the beds (the beds which fold out of the wall, mind you. In just one big open room. Very little privacy. Unfortunate napping set-up. One small kitchen with a miss-matched coffee maker, a poor Internet connection and, to beat all, I forgot my favorite coffee mug.

Did I mention all five of us were in one big open room? And the beds came out of the wall?

"I think we should leave Thursday."

Brent looked at me. "We just got here Sunday. I don't feel I've had a chance to connect with many students yet. Why do you want to leave?"

Thinking closely of my phrasing, "The boys will be exhausted by the end of the week. Then they'd turn right around and start back to school. I'd love to have a few days back home to readjust and settle in before a new week begins."

"The boys are having a great time. They will catch up on rest on the drive home. I think you want to go home because you are uncomfortable."

Busted.

"Well, this set up isn't ideal. Luke has no privacy for nap. The beds cave in the middle. I'm sleeping right on top of you. It's not easy on me, no. My job is being mommy. And being mommy on vacation is no vacation. It's more work. So, selfishly, mommy wants a vacation, too."

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I could hear it. Sin. Pride. Entitlement. I was being a nasty four-letter-word...

D.I.V.A.

Brent - "Well, I wish you were being more supportive and a bit more concerned about what the Lord is doing in the lives of the students here verses how inconvenient your circumstances."

Ouch. That hurt. And ticked me off.

Truth is painful to hear.

Speechless, I sat there. Staring a hole in the green carpet. Thinking.

Lord, he is so right. But my pride is hurt and I can't tell him he is "so right".

Yet.

It was time for the boys to go to bed. So I turned the sound machine on, turned the lights off, put Luke in his pack-n-play, tucked everyone in. And went to bed, as well.

As I lay there, for two hours, I prayed. And asked the Lord, what is really going on in my heart? I kept thinking of Paul, full of joy in every circumstance.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11,12

Content (autarkēs) 1) sufficient for one's self, strong enough or possessing enough to need no aid or support 2) independent of external circumstances 3) contented with one's lot, with one's means, though the slenderest.

Paul was independent. Sufficient for himself. Strong enough to need no aid. Happy, even with a slender lot.

Now, I don't go so far as to say that I was "suffering for Jesus" here. I had plenty. Luxuries in the grand scheme of life. But to a mother of three under-rested, overly-active boys, my external circumstances were slender. And unfamiliar.

But Paul was content is every situation. In plenty or in want.

I need to be, as well.

The next day, I woke. My heart heavy with DIVA.

Jesus took me for a long walk on the beach that morning. And listened as I confessed. And confessed and confessed.

"Dear Lord, don't let me be a DIVA!"

He encouraged me. And loved on me with new mercies and an amazing sunrise that reflected His faithfulness to me that day. Everyday.

I went back and told Brent how right he was (which he usually is) and we ended the trip on such a high.

It's amazing how much ministry can be done when I take myself out of it.

There is only so much ministry a Diva can do. She is far to preoccupied with herself.

In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:2

The heart of ministry lies in this verse. Looking not to your own interests but to the needs of others.

Serving. Loving-well. Encouraging. And serving some more.

We made it back in one piece. And I am thankful for the conveniences of home. Little things, like my coffee mug.



And a little privacy.

Spring Break 2011 will always be remembered as the year the DIVA died.

And thank God she did.

Reflections Day Five: Forgive ... *Big Sigh*

My deepest apologies for such a late go at the blog. We have been bombarded with life. Let me just give you a glimpse into where we've been...

Drum roll....

Happy 90th Birthday, Ethel!



Isn't she a doll? Yes, this past weekend we celebrated my grandmother's big 90th milestone. Just ten more years until she's on Willard Scott's birthday list on the Today show. Listen...I wouldn't put it past her. She's as strong as an ox. And I am so proud of her.



Look at her laugh. Love that. You can imagine how busy we were. Then, shortly after the party, I packed up and left for a quick trip out of town. I thought Brent might have time to write the Love Dare #5 Reflection. Umm. Not so much. Three boys, homeschooling and holding down the fort doesn't do much for the ol' blog.

Brent...thank you for letting me have a night away to seek the Lord. I love you.

So. Let's reflect, shall we? As I am feeling so warm, fuzzy and refreshed. I just could NOT wait to get back and write. Such an outlet. I am so thankful to the Lord for this blog. Mmm. No sufficient words.

Love Dare #5 Reflections: Forgive...*Big Sigh*

Pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness; then humble yourself enough to ask you spouse for forgiveness as well. Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it now. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive us our debts," each day we must ask Him to "forgive our debtors."

It is a very humbling thing to pray through my "areas of wrong doing." Although Brent and I are not explosive people with layers of sinful behavior towards one another, I don't ever want to live as if I don't wrong him. Because I do.

One of my biggest wrongs is quiet. Subtle. Unfortunately, my wrongdoing has become culturally acceptable.

The seemingly, non-offensive sin of Unthankfulness.

Brent is a servant-hearted man. So giving. A leader. A manly (go backpacking in 25 degrees) man. He takes great pride in making young knights of our little boys. He pursues the Lord with intent and fervency. He cherishes me. Honors me. He treats me delicately and with delight.

Now, do I treat him as he deserves? Not always.

It is so easy to focus on what he does wrong (which is truly minimal and always unintended on his part) verses all of his overwhelming good qualities.

My upbringing created in me a natural disposition towards pointing out wrongs. My mother, always quick to correct. Ready with a word to improve me. I learned this trait from her very well.

Brent doesn't need to hear my opinion about everything. Sometimes he just needs my listening ear. A supportive wife.

My "expressed opinions" are often my passive way of saying..."you really should do "that" my way. Your way is not good enough for me."

**Brent, forgive me for my unthankfulness. Forgive me of my pride. I am so honored and thankful to call you my husband. **

"The truth is, our whole lives should be lives of continual thanksgiving. Paul told his audience at Athen's that "[God] himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" Acts 17:25. Everything we are and have is a gift from Him. Taking for granted all the temporal provisions and spiritual blessings that God has so richly bestowed on us, and so failing to continually give Him thanks is one of our 'acceptable' sins." Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges.

Lord Jesus, forgive me for not living in a continual state of appreciation. Everything I am and everything I have is from you. Forgive me for my lack of gratitude. Forgive me...I take for granted so much. I am thankful for you, Jesus. I bless your name.

Love Dare #5: Forgive ...* Big Sigh *

There we sat, my friend Cynthia and I. Sitting in cold, stale chairs in her pediatrician's waiting area. Five other families surrounded us. Sniffling children. A receptionist at the front desk and a quiet television mounted in a corner.

My phone, the ringer on high, blasts from my purse.

"Hello."

It was Tracie. I talk and I talk, forcing Cynthia, the receptionist and the five surrounding families to hear my entire conversation. My voice loud and inappropriate for a small waiting area.

"Mrs. Crenshaw?"
It was the receptionist.
"Mrs. Crenshaw?"
"Hold on Tracie." I turn to look at her.
"Mrs. Crenshaw, your phone call is very disruptive. Will you please step outside."

My face hot with embarrassment and all eyes on me, I look to Cynthia. "I'll go wait in the car."

I grab my keys and take my phone call and purse outside. I sit in my gray minivan, turn the key in my ignition and ... nothing.

My battery - dead.

Phone still to my ear, I look up to see Cynthia standing at the window.

"That's what you get."
"What?!"
"For having that obnoxious phone call. That's what you get."
I start to cry. "Cynthia! How can you say that? I'm humiliated enough. And now my battery is dead! I just need a little grace here!"

*********************************************
I pop upright in my bed. Awake. I look at the clock. 4:10a.m.

OH HALLELUJAH! It was a dream. The whole thing. A dream.

*Big sigh*

None of it happened. I am free from all of those emotions : Embarrassment. Frustration. Humiliation.

Free.

(side note: Cynthia would NEVER say that. She is so precious and gentle.)

So at 4:10 a.m. I think, LORD. Isn't that just like you? All of our bad experiences, our hurts, our embarrassments, our humiliations, our foul mouths, our hurtful words, all of our mistakes - upon asking forgiveness - we are free.

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

I will think on that dream today. It was very real.

And much like our sin, there are repercussions. We may still remember. But in Christ, we get to take a huge sigh of relief and experience mercy that is new with each waking day.

Freedom and forgiveness.

So how does this Biblical truth hash out in marriage?

Coming from the chief of grudge holders (ahem, me), true forgiveness can be very difficult.

I tell you, I have such a humble husband (who is not writing today because he is camping - in 25 degree weather). Brent is quick to apologize and ask forgiveness.

Not everyone is like this. I'm not. Sometimes it is physically painful, seriously, physically painful to apologize. Can you relate? My flesh likes to wallow a bit in my frustration. But not Brent. He seeks resolution.

"One universal factor is required to turn any marriage around: COMPLETE FORGIVENESS.

Complete forgiveness means holding nothing between you and your spouse and deciding I will make a daily commitment to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle." - Kendrick, Dare to Love

Read that again.

If you are in a difficult marriage...holy wow! Compete forgiveness may seem impossible. There may be years and years of hurt and history. But remember how much you are forgiven?

"God doesn't skimp when in comes to forgiveness." - Kendrick.

Why should we?

We shouldn't.

I am learning that forgiveness is easiest in light of God's great mercy on me. I am learning, also, to allow God to take watch over my offender. God is the Judge, not me. I can release all of my vengeance, bitterness and frustration over to Him...and be free to love. sigh.

Love Dare #6

Pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness; then humble yourself enough to ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it now. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive us our debts" each day we must ask him to help us "forgive our debtors."

With Christ we are free and forgiven. And free to forgive.

God is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think - according to the power that works in you. Ephesians 3:20

I know this is a daunting dare for many. But God is able. In our weakness HIS STRENGTH is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9). Let Him do a work in your heart with this new waking day.

Choose to forgive and be free. Give it all to Christ. *Big sigh*

The Quiet Sin of an Unforgiving Heart

The unforgiving heart is so costly.

Read what Jesus says about forgiveness...

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

I am 100% in love with Jesus, but I am also 100% human. My feelings get hurt and I can be offended, not easily, but offended still.

And every so often my Mama likes to manifest on me. She could be feisty. And heaven help the man or woman who crossed her.

I'm not saying this is good...but it is true.

She was could be a fiery dart and was known to hold a grudge like nobody's business.

Do you know someone like this? Is it you?

Well, left to my flesh, this is me.

My words are sharp and fiery...just ask my husband.

Brent has said before, "I'm not going to have this fight with you. I know I won't win."

Yuck. Isn't sin so ugly?

So. I have to be on guard. I try not to lash out with my tongue. I know "better than that".

People might see my sin. Or hear it.

But no one sees my heart.



Right?

Wrong.

God knows when I sit down and when I rise up; He discerns my thoughts from a far. -Psalm 139:2

And He loves me still? Amazing.

Unforgiving: unwilling to forgive; Having or making no allowance for error or weakness

Unforgiveness is a very quiet sin. It lingers in the soul of its carrier, rotting away, destroying compassion, deteriorating the tenderness of the heart.

Unforgiveness breeds bitterness.

And no one likes a bitter person.

The Lord warns us of the effects of this unforgiving heart. He warns us against bitterness.

HE SAYS IT HINDERS OUR OWN FORGIVENESS.

Lord, help us. Think about that.

If I went to the Lord this morning, mad at my husband - not forgiving him for something he did (or didn't do) yesterday...if I spent an hour in praise and prayer to the Lord, it would be rather ineffective.

Example: Brent and I got into a tiff yesterday. A petty quarrel about sweeping the bathroom floors. But the enemy wanted to blow that up and make us hate on each other all day. He will try to breed bitterness in my marriage. Brent and I have to stay on guard. ALL OF THE TIME.


I can not go into the Most Holy Place with the Lord when I am full of sin. When I have an unforgiving heart. No. I go into that place with the Lord....cleansed of my sin.

Cleansed of all of my hidden sin (ahem...unforgivingness).

Put on then, as God's chosen ones holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive. Colossians 3:13

God's method is quite contradictory of our flesh. When someone ticks you off....love them.

How's that for a work of the Holy Spirit?

O.K. So who is it?

Who are you thinking of this morning?

Forgive them.

Don't live in bondage to bitterness another day.

Let it go. Give it over to the Lord.

An unforgiving heart costs too much.

I Have One Thing Going For Me

Yesterday it was very clear to me...apart from Christ I can do nothing.

N O T H I N G.

John 15:5. My life verse.

Well, I guess if you count snapping at my children, discouraging my husband and making a complete fool of myself, I guess that is something.

Maybe I should rephrase ... apart from Christ I can do no good thing. Psalm 16:2

Yesterday the Lord was sweet to show me why I so desperately need him. Moment to moment.

The details are silly and rather irrelevant. Something about unfinished school work, a slice of pizza and a couple of red balloons.

Well, too, a messy house, an overwhelming attempt to have a garage sale and an unloaded dishwasher.

I told you...silly.

No good thing.

I was like a rubber band, stretched to its max, who popped and smacked my family in the eye.

Oh, I need Jesus.

Don't think for one second that I've got it all together over here.

Jesus is the only thing I've got going for me.

The split second I step out of walking in the power of his Holy Spirit, is the second I sin.

There's no one foot in one foot out.

No, it's all Spirit or all flesh.

Yesterday was flesh.

So after a series of unfortunate events with my flesh, I got in the van and had to drive to the grocery store. And out of obedience to the Word (not desire - remember, I'm still in my flesh) I begin to praise Him. And thank him. And sing to him. Loudly. Expecting peace. (Philippians 4:6-7).

And there in my "die any day" mini-van, on the way to Food City, the Lord met me. He turned my heart of stone into flesh (Ezekiel 11:19). He forgave me and poured grace on me. He filled me with his Holy Spirit and gave me, not just peace, but unsurpassing peace.

Just like that.

He is so good. So good. I did not deserve that moment with him. I deserved a Holy sad spoon. But instead he blessed me. And set my feet on a rock.

Put to death, therefore what is earthly in you. Put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:5,8,9,12-14

Anglea Thomas writes, "I need Jesus to walk around in my soul and open my eyes. I need Him to forgive, restore and change me into His likeness from encounter to encounter. I need spiritual depth and maturity. I am so needy that this cannot wait until the children are older or until our lives are 'settled.' I must finally come to the end of myself and cry aloud, 'Dear God Almighty, I cannot possibly make it apart from You." - Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul

So true. I can not make it apart from Him. He is all that is good in me.

Abide in Him today.

In Spite of Cussing and Southern Comfort

There was a time in my life when I stood outside, looking in on the Christian way of life.

I was an onlooker.



Through the window I could see joy, deep joy, peace, freedom, authentic laughter and meaningful friendships. Christians were fascinating to watch.

But I was just that...a watcher. An outsider.

By choice.

I thought that the Christian life was reserved for those who were good. People who made clean choices. People who didn't cuss. Or drink Southern Comfort.

But as fascinated as I was with the Christian life, I was equally convinced that it was restrictive, dull, condemning and judgemental. And who wants to enter a room full of people looking down their noses?

These people will see right through me. They would have my number. There is no room for people like me. They wouldn't understand me. No, it's too risky. I'll stay out here. Alcohol, sex, body image, envy, money -much safer. Out here, I don't have to change. I am familiar with this side of the window.

Whoever loves his life loses it. - Jesus

Irony: By trying to gain acceptance from my peers, I was losing. By trying to gain affection from the opposite sex, I was losing. By trying to gain attention with my sexuality, I was losing.

Losing (apollymi)- to destroy. Render useless. Be lost.

I was destroying my own life. One day after useless day, I was loving a lost life.

Whoever hates his life in this world will keep it. - Jesus

Hate my life (miseō) meaning to love less. Postpone in love.

Love my life less and I will love it more.

Quite the paradox.

Overtime, I kept coming back to that window. Standing outside. Looking in.

And the more I stood there, the more clearly I could see my reflection. My tired face. My weary spirit. My emptiness.

My side of the glass was looking less and less appealing.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. - Jesus

I needed rest. My lifestyle wore me out. People pleasing is exhausting.

OK. On a trial basis, I will walk in. Just to see what is really going on in there. At this point what do I have to lose?

Except everything?

So I stood amongst them. The Christians. Waiting, with clinched fists and squinted eyes, for the stones to hit. Waiting on my lecture of why I don't belong.

But instead, they opened my hands, and handed me stones. Stones of their own. One story after another of their struggles with money, sex, body image, lying, cheating, stealing, hatred, bitterness, envy, cussing and Southern Comfort.

Struggles. Present tense.

So. They aren't perfect?

No. But they have hope. And rest.

They have Jesus.

Whoever loves his life loses it and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12:25

Its seemed like a risk. Giving up all I knew, for this Jesus. This God who asks me to hate my life, so I can love Him more.

To love myself less, so I can love myself more.

For something that doesn't make sense, that sure does make sense.

My trial run of Jesus, became a lifetime pursuit.

A pursuit of this God who died for sex, drugs and rockin' roll.

A pursuit of this God who loved me, in spite of cussing and Southern Comfort.

A pursuit of this God who gives my weary soul rest. Who makes my tired eyes light.

A pursuit of this God who called me to hate my life - to love it less. So I may keep it.

Eternally.

Whatever we give up, He will replenish.

Whatever we lose, He will restore.

He is worth the risk.

...With Sober Judgement...

Rebuke.

"The word itself doesn't sound very kind. But it is. Rebuke is meant to help you see yourself with accuracy." - Ted Tripp

Looking at myself with accurate eyes can be painful. And ugly.

But this week the Lord is guiding me through the mucky waters of my inner self; reviewing the attitudes and intentions of my heart with sober judgement. And He's revealing hidden sin. Still.

For by the grace given me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment. Romans 12:3

I am not feeling condemnation. But, instead, love and freedom.

Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves. Hebrews 12:6

It is grace in my life that the Lord allows me to see my sin. It is grace that He doesn't leave me to myself.... to self destruct. But he rescues me, heals me and calls me His own.

He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His Holiness. Hebrews 12:10b

Read that again.

He wants me to share in His holiness. Me?

Yes. Me.

And you.

"Anytime your Lord opens your eyes to see evil for what it is and anytime he exposes your self sufficiency for what it is, he is wrapping arms of faithful redemptive love around you. Love warns, love rebukes." - T. Tripp

If examining yourself with sober judgement, what would the Lord open your eyes to see?

Let us share in His holiness today.

A Goldfish carton and the wrong Proverb

Yesterday morning I sat down to do my Proverbs study. The emphasis of the study is The Family Living From Proverbs. Yesterday the topic was The Source of Our Words. So I am meaning to look up Proverbs 16:2. I have my journal in hand, and I begin to copy....

Pride goes before destruction, a haughy spirit before a fall.

I start to process this proverb. And it really begins to speak to me. I realize that the origin of most of my sin is deeply rooted in PRIDE. The heartbeat of almost every act of disobedience in my children is PRIDE.

Then I realize this verse is actually Proverbs 16:18. It's the wrong one....not even sited in my study. Oops. But it was exactly was God had for me.

One of the most profound things I have ever read on parenting came back to me when I read this verse. Get a pen....this is so good.

"Rebellion is actually pride put into action. Rebellious thoughts say, 'I'm going to do what I want, no matter what God or anyone else says about it. Pride gets us into rebellion, and stubbornness is what keeps us there."

"Identifying and destroying the idols of pride and selfishness through prayer can often be the key to breaking a child's rebellion." - from The Power of a Praying Parent.

So when my little guys rebel against Brent's or my authority...that is pride put into action.

Rebellion is Pride.

Pride is Idolatry (of self).

Idolatry is Sin.

Which brought me to my next realization. I am not doing something very important in my child rearing.....Pointing my children to their sin.

Sin by definition is missing the mark. To err. To miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honour. To wander from the law of God. To violate God's law.

It's hard to confess and repent of sin if we don't know we are sinning. By pointing my children to their sin....I can point them to the Cross and their need for forgiveness. Their need for Christ.

Do I point out their rebellion? Yes. Do I identify their inappropriate behavior? Yes. Do guide them in correcting it? Yes. But do I guide them to the root of their rebellion? No.

There is an extra VERY necessary step.

Let me give an example. Last night. Target. We were about to check out. Standing in line, Ethan spotted one of those little milk carton shaped boxes of Goldfish. Let me preface by saying...I had JUST bought him a huge pretzel at the deli and we had just eaten dinner before we got there.

"Mommy, can I have some Goldfish?"
"No, E. We just ate a pretzel."
"But I still hungry!"
"No, buddy. You've had enough. Anyway we have a carton 12 times that size in the pantry at home. If you want some later you can have some of ours."
Whining, screaming "NOOOOO! I want Goldfish! No. No. NOOOOO! I want Goldfish!"

All the way out of the store. All the way into the van. Screaming, kicking, whaling fit. A "stares and judgement from every customer in Target" fit. Nice.

So when we got to the van we had the "That behavior is inappropriate" conversation. We had the "Rule #1 is to Obey quickly and completely" conversation. But the conversation we did NOT have was arguably the most important.

You see, the heartbeat of his Goldfish fit was rooted in PRIDE. "I want, what I want, when I want it" - PRIDE. And pride is sin. Pride comes before a fall - or in this case...discipline. So not only do I want to point out to Ethan that he is disobeying our Family Rules....I want to call a spade a spade and tell him he is in Sin.

So, in love, I should have said, "Ethan. Screaming at mommy about the Goldfish is rebellion against my authority. Which is disobeying God's rule to obey Mommy. That is sin in your heart, buddy.... "

Or something like that.

Pointing out the sin in my children's lives would be an act of love, not cruelty. I would never yell at them, "You little Sinner!" No way. It's God's kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

Here's another reason I think pointing out sin is SO important. When I received Christ as a nine-year-old little girl, I was really motivated by fear to make that decision. This is what I heard..."Ask Jesus into your heart and you go to Heaven...If you don't you go to the Fiery Pit of Hell." Uh...I'll pick Heaven. I had no real brokenness over my Sin - Because I couldn't identify Sin. No one taught me. I knew enough to know I wasn't "doing right" by God, but I wish someone could have taught me to identify sin in my own life. I'm betting I would have avoided a lot of heartache over the next fourteen years.

So fast forward to when Ethan really understands the Gospel for the first time. I pray he will be able to recognize the sin in his life. I pray he experiences brokenness.
Then reconciliation. Then healing.

"The opposite of rebellion is obedience, or walking in the will of God. Obedience brings great security and the confidence of knowing you're where you're supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to do. One of the first steps of obedience for children is to obey and honor their parents. This is something a child must be taught.

Rebellion will surface in your child at one time or another. Be ready to meet the challenge with prayer and the Word of God, along with correction, discipline and teaching."

Lord, help our children identify and confront pride and rebellion. I pray they are willing to confess and repent. Make them uncomfortable with sin. Help my children know the beauty and simplicity of walking with a sweet and humble spirit in obedience and submission to you.
- Power of a Praying Parent.

a Braveheart moment

Well, I had every intention of writing about Summer Sanity #7 this morning, but the Lord had other plans. Last night, I kept having a dream about a Bible verse. It was so crazy. When does that ever happen? So I thought it best to investigate.

This was the verse...
James 5:16 says, Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

Here we go...

Contextually, James is writing to Jewish Christians. He is encouraging them not to be tempted to allow intellect or knowledge pass for faith. His letter is written to remind them that genuine faith transforms lives.

Fast forward to chapter 5....speaking of Prayer. James says "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy...let him sing songs of praise. Is anyone sick?.....He should call the elders of the church to pray over him...." James 5:13,14.

James is setting a trend here. In other words, if you are feeling an emotion, pray. If you are breathing air, pray.

Pause that thought.

Rewind back now to coffee with a dear, dear friend last week. Girlfriend, is crazy in love with Jesus. She challenges me and I learn so much from her walk with the Lord. Well, to hear her tell it, lately she's been hitting a wall in her relationship with God. It's as if, she knows He has something deeper for her, but she doesn't know how to get to it.

We continued talking and drinking our coffee, but before we left, she shared something very painful. A fact about her past that, for years, she has kept very private and for which she carries a lot of guilt. She said, "I've never shared this with anyone before." As she continued, she started verbally processing what the Lord would have her do with this detail of her life. She said, "I don't know... maybe I was just supposed to share and bring it out into the open."

Feeling extremely honored that she trusted me, I proceed with my day, thinking of her very often - in prayer and giving great thanks for this amazing woman.

Later that night, I got a message from her. It went something like this...."You know, every time I think about what I shared this morning, I do not have that same guilt anymore. It's gone. I really think I just needed to tell someone." AHH. Freedom.

Now, had she confessed this to the Lord before? Of course. She had hashed it out with Him on many occasions, I'm sure. But for her, it was a public acknowledgement of the issue that brought healing. Oh, so powerful.

I called back and told her I envisioned her with a big, messy mullet....her face painted blue like William Wallace in Braveheart yelling.....FREEDOM!

She liked that.

So back to the verse in James --There is Biblical truth to what happened to my sweet friend.

Therefore confess you sins (v. 16a)...

To Confess (exomologeō) means "a public acknowledgement."

May be healed (v.16a) means "to make whole. to free from errors!!!!!! Figuratively speaking of SPIRITUAL HEALING! (all emphasis mine!)

Do you see?!

Public acknowledgement of sin frees us and makes us whole. It brings spiritual healing to our souls.

Now, can God make us whole without public acknowledgement? Absolutely. Christ's death on the Cross made it possible for us to go directly to God for forgiveness. But confessing our sins to each other still has an important place. For example, if after confessing a private sin to God, we still don't feel His forgiveness, we may wish to confess that sin to a another believer and hear him or her assure us of God's grace and forgiveness. It brings encouragement, healing and confirmation.

Now, as a a new believer coming out with secrets of my past scared me to death. I still wanted to save a little face. I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know how wretched I really was. Also, I didn't trust anyone. The kind of people I had been "friends" with for so many years were far, far from trustworthy. They would have taken any dirt on me and rubbed my face in it. Without flinching.

So James makes it very clear that we confess our stuff with the righteous man. Who is that?

A righteous man (dikaios) observes divine laws. He is upright. His way of thinking is wholly conformed to the will of God.

The righteous man then has a responsibility....to pray. His prayer is effective and accomplishes much.

Effective and accomplish is the same word in the Greek - energeō (our root word for energy). This means bringing one into line with the will of God. He puts forth power.

So....we confess our sin to a righteous man, he prays and puts forth power to line us up with the will of God.

I AM JUMPING OUT OF MY CHAIR. This is too amazing. Do you see how profound and healing and important and life-changing this is?!

Jesus shared a cup of joe with us that morning. In faith - she shared and by grace - He healed. He was in the midst of us, healing and bringing freedom to my friend. Setting this captive free. Hallelujah.

This whole incident has really challenged me to search my own heart. What is lying dormant? Needing confession? I want to be fully in alignment with God's will for my life. I do not want any sin hiding under the rug. I want no stone left unturned. I want all the Spiritual Healing that Christ died to give me. To give you.

When we make a public acknowledgement of any secrecy in our soul we are set free from our error. Prayers then accomplish much. The power of prayer puts our life in alignment with God's will.

Oh, Lord...this is too good. I want it. Reveal my sin. Lay me bare and expose anything secret that is left uncovered. I want to be healed and completely free indeed. I want your will for my life...in full. Thank you for revealing this astounding truth to me. Thank you for setting us free.

Immeasurably more

Yesterday, I was adding some numbers and I looked at my six-year-old and said, "Hey Grant, remember the number 150."
"OK, 150" he said. He left the room and within seconds came back in and asked, "120?"
"One fifty." I said.
He left the room again and returned about 20 minutes later, handed me a pink piece of construction paper and said, "I made you something so you wouldn't forget your number." That Sweet Little Love had gone into the kitchen, pulled out scissors, markers, tape and construction paper and worked earnestly on this "little" reminder. How elaborate. I guess a post it note would have been too simple. Too easy.
I couldn't help but be moved by his motivation to go above and beyond the little request I asked of him.

You know, God could have left us to our sin. He did not have to forgive us.

But he did.

But then, He could have just spoken the word "FORGIVEN" and it would have been done.

But he did more.

He "did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all."

Instead of us, He chose his Son.

He could have condemned us all to Hell for our offensive sin, but instead, "who is it that he condemns? Christ Jesus, who died."

God could have stopped there.

But he did much "-more than that, [Jesus] who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is interceding for us" Romans 8:32-34.

Precious Jesus cries out to the Father on your behalf.

He does not have to, but he is motivated by his great LOVE FOR YOU to go above and beyond simple and "to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" Ephesians 3:20.

Oh, how he loves you and loves you.

He always does more. Immeasurably more.

How he longs for you to know him and receive this extravagant gift of salvation and freedom from sin. Do you know him?

Who is this King of Glory?! His name is Jesus.