Reflecting with the Little Brown Journal

I love the hungry white pages of a brand new journal. Each page ready for the strike of an eager pen. As of this week, my little brown book has officially retired. It's pages maxed with messages from my pastor, quotes from my mentor, notes from books I've read, prayers I've offered to the Lord, correction He has brought me in my sin and Scripture He has whispered in the hush of our time together.

Re-flect \ri-ˈflekt\ : to think quietly and calmly

This morning I want to reflect with the little brown journal. Sitting quietly before the Lord. Turning each page of His faithfulness to me. Remembering the goodness of this year past. The hardships. The joys. Join me as I highlight and reflect on a few one-liners from little brown journal...

* Yesterday it was very clear to me...apart from Christ I can do nothing. NOTHING.

* Refreshment is found in the presence of God.

* "In a hopeless world - hope is powerful. In a truthless world - grace is powerful." -Pastor Dunn
* "If you carry the Word in your heart during times of trouble then His Word will carry you." -D. Barnes

* "The only way you can make little of yourself is to make much of someone else." -Piper

* How do we deal with Pride? We continually deflect and point to Christ.

* You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness in joy. Psalm 16:11 - JOY come from His presence!

* Rest is a result of discipline. Choose to Trust God. Rest is found here.

* "You have to fight for your enjoyment of the Lord." -J. Newman

* "The Devil works out of a position of pride. The Lord works out of a position of humility." -D. Barnes

* "The reward of seeking God is God. He is the reward." -Pastor Dunn

* In the Kingdom of God we either move forward or backwards. We never stand still.

* "Love never fails. Just love." -D. Barnes

* "Faith comes by hearing. Using what you've heard increases your faith. We must do what we hear from God." -Pastor King

* Don't be a child of Israel who complains. Crucify yourself, Becky. Be thankful.

* Don't look to people for my supply - look to God. Expect everything from Him.

* "If you suffer any want, it is your own fault." -Spurgeon

* "When a tide of passion or a surge of anger is felt, it must be dealt with as the alien intruder it really is and turned out of the house. It has no right to be there at all...let alone give orders." -Nasser

* Christians must take severe measures in dealing with sin.

* God's Word isn't the fun news it's the Good News. And we can't realize how good it is until we see how bad we are. This realization will always bring forth change.

* "Be well trained with the weapons of God (Eph 6). Know your covenant. Understand your authority and agreement. Jesus' death and suffering are not in vain. Honor the price paid." -D. Barnes

* Lord, ignite in me fresh passion. Let us pursue intimacy. Romance me, Lord. Word of God speak. Fill my heart with Your Word. I give myself to you as a living sacrifice. Holy and Acceptable. My spiritual act of worship. Amen.

Do you have any one-liners today? Do share. I'd love to reflect with you.

I also did a similar post with my Little Red Journal. I love looking back over what the Lord has done. He is so good.

The Beauty Of Broken Pieces

My mother was a bargain shopper. A wheelin-dealin', card carryin', bona fide, clearance queen. No matter if it fit or matched - if it was 65% off she could make it work.

I loved this about her.

Spring 2002, Brent and I were nearing the Big Day. We had spent hours registering for dinnerware, Tupperware, Corningware, underwear - if it ended in -ware we registered for it. We were quite proud of ourselves, I do say. Young, in love and so excited about our choices.

I remember the day well. The day mama came over after a trip to Belk. She and Mamaw had been shopping. Bargain shoppin'.

"Look what I found on clearance. I bought you and Brent a set. These are Lenox."

With a proud smile, she held up a box of dishes. Cream and country-blue, striped dishes. Yes, they were Lenox, but they were cream and country-blue. And striped. Not what I wanted or would have chosen.

Not wanting to pop her bargain bubble, I thanked her and thought to myself, I will shelve them and cross my fingers someone buys what is on our registry. And a few someones did. Friends and family bought piece after piece, completing the set of my chic and classy white dishes.

But come March 12, 2005, my chic and classy white dishes paled in comparison to the beauty of those cream colored Lenox dishes. That country-blue stripe had never been more meaningful.

To this day, mama is a part of mealtime. I like to think of her serving up oatmeal and cereal for breakfast. Macaroni and chicken at dinner. Those clearance dishes - now of intangible worth.

Last Friday night, after a lazy woman served up some Ragu and noodles to her three little boys, she turned to put a bowl in the sink. And the bowl slipped right out of her hand onto the hardwood floor. It hit just right. And broke into ungluable pieces.

I knelt and in slow motion picked up each piece.

Grant came behind me, "Was that bowl precious?"

Precious. His wording poignant.

"Yes, honey. This bowl was precious. My mama bought it for me."

"Your mama Darlene? Wasn't that her name? Darlene?" Ethan asked.

"Yes. Darlene."

Ethan -"How do you spell that? D-A-R.. How does the rest go, mom?"

Her name sounded sweet in my home. And as I picked up the broken pieces of my bowl, the Lord picked up the broken pieces of my heart. Those little voices remembering the grandmother they never knew.

We talked of her Friday night. For a good long while. And I was thankful.

The brokenness of my bowl bringing back the beauty of her memory.

Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Matthew 6:19-20

And she is there. A treasure awaiting me in heaven. Her embrace serving satisfaction that no cream colored, country-blue striped plate could offer.

One day, we will feast together again.

Not on discounted Lenox dishes, but on divine dinnerware, set for us at a the table of the Most High God.

A family reunion my mind can not conceive. My RSVP confirmed. A party I will not miss.

Until then, her memory lives on. I see her in the smiles of my children, in the clearance aisle at Belk, in the three Lenox bowls left in my kitchen cabinet.

And in the quiet places of my heart.

The Post I Never Wanted To Write

It was a cool Sunday in May 2010. I drove past the only rental house on my street. In the driveway were three blonde-headed little girls splashing in a kiddie pool. Tucked away in the shade of the garage was their blonde-headed little momma painting kitchen chairs.

I stopped the van, "Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Becky. I live three doors down. I just wanted to say hello. I have three little boys around the same age as your daughters. We would love to have you over to play sometime."

And a friendship began.

A couple of days later my boys brought cookies and flowers to greet the girls. (You may remember, I wrote a post during our Summertime Sanity series about Serving Others - this was the family!) Playing sometime became most days and most days became almost everyday. Teresa and I were instant kindred.

Statefarm is not kidding - there is nothing "like a good neighbor." We had never shared life with another family like this before. We celebrated every holiday. Every birthday. Every occasion last year. Teresa and I went to the same gym, our kids went to the same preschool, we worshipped at the same church, we read the same books, we car pooled and even grocery shopped some together. We shared life.

Thursday nights, while Brent was at CRU, Teresa would walk down once the boys went to bed. We'd eat KettleKorn and talk about Jesus. How many friends do that? Eat KettleKorn and talk about Jesus? Not many.

Our kids became the best of friends. Each age matched. A day never passed when I wasn't asked, "Are we going to see the neighbors? Can I walk down to the neighbor's? Can the neighbors come over later?"

Princess parties, Trick or Treating, cookie baking, Christmas dinner, our New Years "Just Dance" party - LOL, Women's Retreat, Easter Egg hunts, lazy days at the pool.

Teresa. I just miss you so.

I knew they were moving after one year. I knew it, I knew it. But their being here was not happenstance. Or an afterthought on God's part. Their residence three doors down was Divine.

Even our husbands became good friends - rare.

This special family left last month for Germany. The dreaded end of July. And now I am left to drive by the quiet of her house. And left to write the blog post that I never wanted to write.

Sweet Teresa. We miss you all. I miss your tender heart for Jesus. Your affection for all of His creation. I miss your prayerfulness for your family and mine. I miss your "it will all work out" attitude and your extreme enthusiasm for Zumba :). I miss our "anytime we felt like it" talks over coffee. I miss your encouragement. We miss you too, Geoff! And of those little girls. I miss them. So. Much. {tears}

I am so thankful for the sweet year we had. Thank you for not withholding your friendship from us, knowing you were only here for a short time. Thank you Jesus for the gift of this family. No words will do.

Now that I am a complete mess, I will celebrate the rest in pictures.

So Teresa, go eat some spaetzle for me (what is spaetzle anyway?) and tell Germany "Guten Tag" from the Crenshaws!

I love you, Sweet T.


Praise the Lord, O my soul. Psalm 103:1


Every good and perfect gift...

...is from above. James 1:17

The Lord is your keeper. Psalm 121:5


May the Lord bless you and keep you;


The Lord make his face to shine upon you,


And be gracious to you...


The Lord lift up his countenance upon you...


And give you peace. - Numbers 6:24-26

Ich Liebe Dich, friend.

Now .. Where Did I Put My Passion?

This summer, the enemy made a solid effort around here ... trying to steal from God's people.

Like a little girl fumbling around in the dark, trying to find her favorite Lovie, I fumbled in the dark many days. Running my hands across hardship and life stress. Patting along chaos and confusion. I knew it had to be there somewhere. My Passion. Where did I put that thing?

I was so discouraged. Even in some of the darkest seasons of my life, I have still, by God's grace, been able to maintain my Passion for Jesus. I am crazy about Him.

I mean, "let me do a cartwheel" crazy in love with Him!

But this summer, my passion went from a cartwheel to a somersault, into a fire drill (stop, drop and roll) and some days I lay flat on my back. Being the roll-ie verses the roller.

Life rolled right on top of me. And knocked my breath out.

So where did my passion go?

Do you ever feel this way?

I think of Paul. He never seemed to lose his passion. In prison - passion. Stoned by Jews from Antioch - passion. Debating with Jerusalem council - passion.

So here I am, the year is 2011, a stay-at-home mom of three in Knoxville, TN ... where the heck did my passion go? I'm not being stoned to death, persecuted or thrown in prison!

In his study, A Call to Die, David Nasser writes this, "I am always amazed that God is willing to use somebody like me. His faithfulness makes me love Him even more. The more we see his power at work in us and through us, the more we are loyal to him. Passion takes root in gratitude. Take time to think about what God has done for you. No, many things may not have gone the way you hoped. But even in those disappointments, God is still God."

Passion takes root in gratitude. Bingo.

With that statement, the light went off. "Becky, you've taken your eye off of the prize. Your goal is not comfort, your goal is Me. Look to all I HAVE done. And be thankful. It is in your gratitude that your passion will return."



So I pulled out my fancy notebook and pen (kidding about the fancy) and started a list. And there it was. With each strike of my pen, my head shaking in awe that the Lord would bless me with ANYTHING, my passion started to make its entrance back into the stubborn doors of my heart.

I keep an ongoing list. And I have been practicing the act of thankfulness unto my sweet Jesus. The giver of every single good gift. Those aren't just words. They are TRUE words. Look around us. We are SO blessed.

Beyond. Belief. Blessed.



Shame on me for overlooking. Forgive me Lord for my unthankfulness.

A lesson learned for me this summer. I hope it blesses you, too.

On that note:

Gratitude

Children
Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for everything.

Give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Eph. 5:20

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
Col. 2:6, 7

Myself and others
Help ME and _____________ live lives that are always OVERFLOWING with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for EVERYTHING.

Popcorn and Sweet Cheeks

I rarely write in the evenings. But here lately, little Pookie (a.k.a. Luke age 2.9) has been quite contrary to the idea of bedtime. I wish I could say that I am firm and as soon as he comes down the steps I'm waiting on him with the spanking stick. I wish I could say he knows I mean business and he can not get out of his bed.

But.

He is my third, and probably my last. And I am a sucker.

Tonight, however, I thought, "Tonight, things must change. No more cute Pookie coming down the steps for late night popcorn with mommy. No more puppy dog eyes staring at me over a bright orange paci."

(Yes, he still has a paci. Don't judge.)

Nope... tonight, I was going to (start) being consistent.

Eight o'clock rolled around and I curled up in bed with him, his little tan hand turning each page of a Thomas the Tank book. I read, he snuggled. At the book's end, I turned out the light. And instead of saying good night and closing his door...I stayed.

I stayed because something within me was highly aware of the time. Not bedtime...but the tic-toc of childhood.

Don't you wish we could slow it down?

My "littlest man" was born almost THREE years ago.

His birthday 8-8-08. A day set apart for great things.

Even China thought so.

I stayed a while in his double bed. Surrounded by build-a-bears and board books, petting his hair and singing lullaby's.

Praying and holding back tears.

He barely even smells like a baby anymore. He even smells three. (Silly. But mom you know what I mean.)

Would someone please tell me how to make this clock stop? Slow the hands of little-boyhood?

How do I punch pause on these sweet cheeks?



Anybody know?

I am so thankful. Thankful to the Lord for this little guy. The missing piece to the Crenshaw clan. I am so thankful for his quiet feet slipping down the stairs for popcorn. I am so thankful for his tan hands and funny dance moves. I am so thankful for his devout passion for chicken nuggets and affection for Lightening McQueen.

I am so thankful he is mine. Even though not really.

He is the Lord's.

I am so thankful for God's good and perfect plan for His life. I am so honored to have his life touch mine.

Sweet boy. I am better because of you.

Now... let's go back to bed. Good night.

A Raw Look At My Heart

This post won't be pretty. Or funny. Or poetic.

Today's blog is a bit raw and quick. A look into where we've been the past 72 hours.

Mamaw has had her lowest of lows the past few days. Sunday morning I went to see her. Her color was ash, her skin was cold to touch and extremely clammy. She was slow to respond. Glazed.

Sounds like death to me.

I was terrified.

Come to find out she was severely anemic and in need of blood. So... two units later, she started to perk up. Praise Jesus.

But the blood did not eliminate her confusion and slow response. And her pain. Oh my word, her pain.

Major major major back surgery for anyone. Throw ninety years on top of that and bad things can happen. And lots of those bad things did. More details I won't go into.

But you know what? I saw the Lord deliver that sweet woman. I have seen the favor of the Lord rest upon her. Upon her room. Upon her care. And upon each nurse...and by the way, if you are a nurse...I love you.

Her doctor - amazing. Brent said, "I don't even need surgery, and I want him to operate on me."

But still, the past two days I have sat in the chair beside her bed. Tears rolling down my face. Crying uncontrollably at times, just so sad to see this woman, who I love so much, suffer and struggle. It is a helpless feeling.

And I could feel my spirit start to sink. The darkness of her circumstances were a harsh reality. My heart grew very faint.

I felt very alone in that room with her.

But by God's grace, I would be reminded of my '"people"... my praying people.

Who, by today's technology, are just a text away.

I sent several this weekend.

I know people say, "I felt your prayers for me" and maybe they mean it. But I really mean it.

I didn't just "feel" the prayers. I watched them come to pass.

E V E R Y single prayer - answered.

Two passages have been life to me this weekend.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever. Psalm 138:8

The Lord doesn't only make things "good" that concern Mamaw. He perfects them. Isn't that good?

And yesterday as I sat and prayed, I honestly confessed to Him, "Lord, I just feel so alone."

Within a millisecond He replied, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isiah 41:10

Aww, such a sweet word from Him. I am never alone. He is always with me. Even in that cold, sterile room - He is with me. I have nothing to fear. I have no reason to be discouraged. He is my God. He is upholding us. He is upholding Mamaw.

This morning I can say, Glory to God...Mamaw is doing much better. Miraculously so.

And as for me, I am much better. Encouraged. Strengthened by His Word. Comforted by His presence.

Please continue to pray. I am so thankful for the readers of this blog. So thankful for your prayers and encouragement. I haven't replied to all of your comments and prayers, but I have received them and adore you. The words "Thank you" don't suffice.


For you.

I am so grateful.

Have Faith In The Lord ... Not Your Lack

A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with my mentor, Debbie.

Sitting on the edge of a black leather chair at a local bookstore, I sank deeply into all of my weaknesses and said, "I am just so overwhelmed."

I was in the thick of end of the year school activities, we were coming out of the fog of a weekend with stomach bug, also neck deep in life-altering decisions for my grandmother, and I had just left a "where can we tighten the budget" conversation with my husband.

I sulked deep into my circumstances and said, "How can I do all of this?"

Debbie sat upright in her seat, as if she had been waiting on me to ask that question all day. "You can do this. You are doing this. This is what God has made you to do. Your thinking is all wrong. It's time to get your mind right."



You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

My mind has "an attitude." And the way I handle every situation in my life is a reflection of this Truth. Is the attitude of mind my going to be good or bad? Christ-centered or self-centered? Am I walking in victory or defeat?

I am learning a harsh reality about myself lately...I put a lot of faith in what I think I can't do. No doubt about it .... "I can't do that."

We do that don't we? Believe firmly that we can't.

My mind needs to realign. Its attitude needs to be renewed into the likeness of Christ, whose Word says, "Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Truth be told, there is nothing I can't do...in the power of Christ. The hand of God leads me wherever I go. His right hand upholds me (Psalm 139:10). I need to renew my mind to this Truth.

God knew the day would come that I would have three little boys and a 90-year-old grandmother to care for. He knew my baby would have stomach virus on mother's day weekend. He knows our financial situation. He is Lord of it all. And yes, with God nothing is impossible.

Debbie said, "Becky, be renewed in your mind. Renew your thinking about Mamaw, about your finances, about your boys, about your marriage, whatever it is. Don't complain. Be thankful. Give thanks to God for where you are. Don't look to your flaws. Or your lack. Look to Jesus."

Look to Jesus. Have faith in Jesus. Have faith in the Truth that has set me free. Have faith in the power of the Holy Spirit in me. I have authority in His name.

Let me be a woman who has faith in the Lord. Not in my lack.

If you are overwhelmed today, have faith. You are right where you are suppose to be. Renew your mind, my friend. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. - Philippians 4:13

Breaking Down The Familiar

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:8-9

Anxious (merimnaō): to be troubled with cares

Everything (pas): in everything; in every way; on every side, in every particular relation or matter

Prayer (proseuchē): prayer addressing God

Petition (deēsis): imploring God's aid in some particular matter; seeking, asking, entreating; making an earnest request.

Thanksgiving (eucharistia): the giving of thanks for God's blessing

Requests (aitēma): What is or has been asked for

Piecing it together in light of each definition:

Do not be troubled with cares but in every thing, in every way, on every side, in every particular matter address God...seek Him, ask Him, entreat Him with an earnest request. And give Him thanks for all of the blessings in your life. Present to Him, all that you have asked and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Enjoy a fresh take on a very familiar verse.

What A Long Day It Was...

And a very long night.



Praise be to God for all spared in yesterday's catastrophic storms.

Yet, let us take a minute to pray for all those in Alabama who are picking up pieces of their lives and for the families who are grieving.

Over 100 lives lost.

If you haven't seen footage of this event, it will take your breath away.

Let us pray, today, for all of those facing this same line of deadly storms.

I pray you will "dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NLT

Lifting you up today.

Easter Week: A Palm Sunday Activity

Save us, we pray, O LORD! O LORD, we pray, give us success!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD! Psalm 118:25-26

This expression when translated into Greek becomes Hosanna.

"Hosanna! O Save us, Lord!"

This afternoon the boys and I made palm leaves. (Ahem, don't knock my craft abilities.)



As we sat together cutting and clipping, the boys and I discussed the symbolism of this common Easter tradition.



In Jewish culture, a palm branch was a national symbol. By waving this leaf, the people were hailing Jesus as the Davidic king. They quoted the long awaited promise of Psalm 118: 25-26 "O save us, we pray! Give us success!"



"Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord."



Tonight at dinner, I chose one little Crenshaw to be in a seat of honor. His path, similar to Jesus', was marked by the Jewish symbol of palm leaves.

We read John 12:12,13...

The next day the large crowd that had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD, even the King of Israel!"

We discussed the importance of this honorable gesture and dreamed: How awesome to have been there that day! Can you imagine how powerful to see this promised King entering into town!

I posed the question:

"If you were there, what would you have cried out to Jesus?"

Grant said, "I would have yelled, 'Hey Jesus! I'm glad your here!'"



Yes. Aren't you glad, too?

Because of Christ's coming, His death and blessed resurrection, we all sit at a place of honor. At the King's table. As His sons. And daughters.

Enjoy your family this Palm Sunday.

Let me know if you do a fun activity!

(The above activity was inspired by Thriving Family magazine.)

Thankful For Discipline?

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor did a series on The Lord's Discipline: The Gracious Gift That Nobody Wants.

He said, "if I sat in a room with a hundred people and asked the question,What are you grateful for today?, people would go on and on talking of the Lord's blessing and favor. His healing and provision. But it would be hours, if ever, that someone would say, 'I am thankful for the discipline of the Lord.'"

My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? Hebrews 12:5-7

Discipline: God as Father, chastening or training men as children by afflictions.

Hello. My name is Becky Crenshaw. And I am thankful for the Lord's discipline.

Why am I thankful? Because this verse tells me that God is treating me as His child. This week, there is NO DOUBT that I am accepted and loved by God.

Ted Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child's Heart, tells a story of one day being in line behind two men. These two gentlemen were talking about child-rearing. One dad said, "I hesitate to discipline my son. I don't want him thinking I don't love him." Ted Tripp wanted to scream...DISCIPLINING YOUR SON SHOWS HIM THAT YOU DO LOVE HIM!

Same goes with our Heavenly Father.

God "disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Hebrews 12:10

The reward for my discipline is holiness? For real God? O.K., I'll take it.

What is going on with me you wonder? Well, without going all into it, which isn't necessary, I will say that I have a heart issue more than a behavior mishap.

The Word of God reveals the attitudes and intentions of my heart. His Word exposes sin. (Hebrews 4:12)

Every moment of my life, the Lord gives me choices. "What are you going to choose, Becky? Life or death? Blessing or curse? Truth or lie? Right or left? Right or wrong?"

"That... or Me?"



This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life. Deuteronomy 30:19,20

Today I choose Him. Today I choose my Lord.

I choose Life.

Moment to moment. Endeavor upon endeavor. One encounter to another.

Him.

Thank you Lord for your discipline. I do not take it lightly. Thank you for loving me so much that it breaks your HEART when I walk the wrong way. Thank you that you call me your own. You love me as your child. Thank you that my good is your concern. This day I choose life. I choose You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Are you in a season of discipline? Do not grow weary. But be encouraged...

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

...Your later on is coming soon.

Having A Two-Year-Old Means...

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3



It is rare that I consciously sit and think of my children as a heritage from the LORD. Reflection takes time. And my time is tight.

Especially with a toddler. There are many days I can not see past my own frustrations to view my two-year-old as a heritage.

Ponder with me today.

Heritage (nachalah): a possession granted by Jehovah; a possession of Jehovah.

My boys, your children, your tween, your teen, that tiresome toddler, a possession of Jehovah, the One True God, granted to you. As your portion. As a reward.

And a reward indeed.

This morning, let us celebrate the favor of Jehovah God, as we reflect on our inheritance.

Having a Two-Year-Old Means...

...finding my toothbrush in the pantry.

...eating quickly at restaurants.

...discovering patience I never knew I had.

...never sitting still at a park.



...putting all steak knives out of reach.

...listening to his favorite song over and over and over.

...Oxy-Clean.

...a crib escapee crawling into my bed.

...stealing quiet kisses.

...finding my wallet on the train table.

...needing a patient hairstylist.

...getting exercise at the pool. But not in the water.

...confessing I have given him this for breakfast:



...belly laughs.

...praying more often.

...realizing my inability to slow time.

...letting him fall.

...being there to help him up.

...kissing away his tears.

...and rocking him...as long as he'll let me.



What would your line be?

Having a ________-year-old means...

I Want To Be The "One"

Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. - Luke 17:15,16

Ten lepers healed. But only one turned back to say thank you to Jesus.

Only one who returned to say thank you for answering their prayer - a prayer that there is NO TELLING how long the lepers had prayed.

Heal me, Lord. Help us, Lord. We need you, Lord. Make us clean, Lord. And as soon as the Lord answered them....

Only one.

How often am I the nine?

I ask and pray and pray and ask. I cry out. I put my faith in the only One who can heal, help and make me clean. And then as soon as He does -

Silence.

Oh, Lord Jesus, forbid it.

I want to be a thankful woman, Lord. I want to be hyper-sensitive to your blessing...so I can offer you thanks and give you the GLORY you deserve.

I want to be the thankful one, who once healed, turned back and fell on his face at your feet.

Don't we do this? Forget to thank Him?

If you read the entirety of this leper story (Luke 17:11-19), it is evident how sad the unthankful nine made Jesus. "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?" (v.17)

Let us be a thankful people. Let us be the "ones" today.

"This morning, I turn back to say thank you, Jesus, and praise You for _______________."

How would you fill in the blank today? Leave a comment.

"This morning, I turn back to say thank you, Jesus, and praise You for answering every prayer I prayed over the retreat last weekend. Thank you for the opportunity to spend a weekend with such an amazing body of believing, solid, beautiful women. Thank you for your Word, that is powerful and healing. Thank you that it never returns empty (Is. 55:11). Thank you for penetrating our hearts. Thank you for knitting our souls as one. I love you, Jesus. I wish I could explain just how much."

Fellowship Bible Church Women's Retreat 2011

"Dear God, Don't Let Me Be a DIVA."

Spring Break 2011 is coming to a close.

The family and I had the great privilege of staying a week with eighty college students in Daytona Beach, Florida.

It was so powerful. And I learned so much.

But what I learned, God didn't reveal during devotionals or morning quiet times scheduled for our students.

No. What I learned, the Lord taught me Tuesday night. During conflict with my husband.

Sitting in our room, on our somewhat sandy, hunter green couch, Brent and I had a little chat.

The boys played on the beds (the beds which fold out of the wall, mind you. In just one big open room. Very little privacy. Unfortunate napping set-up. One small kitchen with a miss-matched coffee maker, a poor Internet connection and, to beat all, I forgot my favorite coffee mug.

Did I mention all five of us were in one big open room? And the beds came out of the wall?

"I think we should leave Thursday."

Brent looked at me. "We just got here Sunday. I don't feel I've had a chance to connect with many students yet. Why do you want to leave?"

Thinking closely of my phrasing, "The boys will be exhausted by the end of the week. Then they'd turn right around and start back to school. I'd love to have a few days back home to readjust and settle in before a new week begins."

"The boys are having a great time. They will catch up on rest on the drive home. I think you want to go home because you are uncomfortable."

Busted.

"Well, this set up isn't ideal. Luke has no privacy for nap. The beds cave in the middle. I'm sleeping right on top of you. It's not easy on me, no. My job is being mommy. And being mommy on vacation is no vacation. It's more work. So, selfishly, mommy wants a vacation, too."

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I could hear it. Sin. Pride. Entitlement. I was being a nasty four-letter-word...

D.I.V.A.

Brent - "Well, I wish you were being more supportive and a bit more concerned about what the Lord is doing in the lives of the students here verses how inconvenient your circumstances."

Ouch. That hurt. And ticked me off.

Truth is painful to hear.

Speechless, I sat there. Staring a hole in the green carpet. Thinking.

Lord, he is so right. But my pride is hurt and I can't tell him he is "so right".

Yet.

It was time for the boys to go to bed. So I turned the sound machine on, turned the lights off, put Luke in his pack-n-play, tucked everyone in. And went to bed, as well.

As I lay there, for two hours, I prayed. And asked the Lord, what is really going on in my heart? I kept thinking of Paul, full of joy in every circumstance.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11,12

Content (autarkēs) 1) sufficient for one's self, strong enough or possessing enough to need no aid or support 2) independent of external circumstances 3) contented with one's lot, with one's means, though the slenderest.

Paul was independent. Sufficient for himself. Strong enough to need no aid. Happy, even with a slender lot.

Now, I don't go so far as to say that I was "suffering for Jesus" here. I had plenty. Luxuries in the grand scheme of life. But to a mother of three under-rested, overly-active boys, my external circumstances were slender. And unfamiliar.

But Paul was content is every situation. In plenty or in want.

I need to be, as well.

The next day, I woke. My heart heavy with DIVA.

Jesus took me for a long walk on the beach that morning. And listened as I confessed. And confessed and confessed.

"Dear Lord, don't let me be a DIVA!"

He encouraged me. And loved on me with new mercies and an amazing sunrise that reflected His faithfulness to me that day. Everyday.

I went back and told Brent how right he was (which he usually is) and we ended the trip on such a high.

It's amazing how much ministry can be done when I take myself out of it.

There is only so much ministry a Diva can do. She is far to preoccupied with herself.

In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:2

The heart of ministry lies in this verse. Looking not to your own interests but to the needs of others.

Serving. Loving-well. Encouraging. And serving some more.

We made it back in one piece. And I am thankful for the conveniences of home. Little things, like my coffee mug.



And a little privacy.

Spring Break 2011 will always be remembered as the year the DIVA died.

And thank God she did.

While I Was Running...

It's not every day that this is my view on a morning run.



God, displaying His creation to me.

Showing off a bit.

It's funny.... This morning, I could have reflected upon His Majesty. His Creativity. His Power. His Mighty Hand.

And I did. But what overwhelmed me - What brought me to a complete stop, literally, was this verse:

All things are possible with God. Mark 10:27

If He can do this...

...He can do anything.

And what's more? He thinks you are even more special, still. You are more precious to Him. More beautiful.

His thoughts of you outnumber every tiny grain of sand you can see in this picture.

And every grain you can't.

He is unfathomable.

And absolutely crazy about you.

What are you praying about today? Does something seem impossible?

"And if that Mockingbird don't sing..."

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Time (def): Having a limit. Opposed to eternity.

Almost everyday for the past three years, naptime has looked the same in our home.

Little Ethan and I would snuggle up in his lower bunk. I'd read him a book while he ate a small snack. I would then turn out the light, hand him his blankie, I'd scratch his back and sing the same song...Mockingbird.

"Hush little Ethan don't say a word, Momma's gonna buy you a Mockingbird...."

A sweet moment, set aside from the chaos of any given day. This time a gift...to me more so than him.

Even if I had twenty other things to do...laundry, cook dinner, phone calls, home school, a much needed shower....I would still take time for this routine.

Because I knew that this time had a limit.

But all too soon.

Yesterday was a rainy day - perfect for a nap.

I snuggled him tight in his light blue blankie.

"You want mommy to sing Mockingbird?"

{Pause}

"Mmmm. No."

{Pause}

Those two little letters piercing my heart.

"OK."

I scratched his back as he drifted off to sleep; rain tapping his window.

Tears marking my cheek.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to keep silence and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:1,5,7 emphasis mine

He's growing up.

My little "E".

But he is only little for a time.

And it is so hard to release my embrace. Even a bit.

And to know when not to speak.

Or sing.

A Taste of Heaven

Some would think that a house full of women, closed in confined spaces for a full weekend might mean trouble. Conflict. Comparison. Catty-ness. Cruelty. And they might be right if watching some reality show on Bravo.

But, put thirty or more women, Jesus-lovin' women, in a house together. One full weekend. And what do you get?

Heaven.

Just a taste. But Heaven still.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like‑minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2:1&2

It is amazing how all these women (some not pictured because they had to leave early), can come from their different lives, different homes, different families, and drive up in different cars, and leave, two days later, all of the same spirit and accord. Like‑minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Sisters in Christ Jesus.

A true family. An undeniable spirit of sisterhood that can only be explained in the things of God.

The Lord took us all, gently by our hands, and ushered us into His Presence. His Word, moving us into His rest, into deep refreshment, led to repentance and longing to remain in Him.

This morning the only way I can say it is....It was the bomb.

How's that for poetic?

Thank you PepMoms, for having me.

And as Andrea Engle prayed...there really are just "no words."

Love you all.

My Heart - For You

It is the morning before Thanksgiving.

And I felt very compelled to write to all of you.

I know today and tomorrow will be slow in the blogsphere. Everyone is busy with holiday preparations.

As am I.

So today's post is a bit unedited. No big story, creativity or earth shattering revelation.

Just my heart. A bit raw.

But, I have to tell you that I am overwhelmed by a great affection for you. I am so thankful for the opportunity that the Lord has given me because of this website. This blog has, hands down, been one of the most precious gifts the Lord has ever given me.

Through it He has given me opportunity to meet so many of you, to be encouraged by you, and learn from you.

So many sweet names and faces mean so much to me.

Kristen K., Cali, Robyn S., Adrienne, Sharon L., Amy, Sue M., Christy, Tara, Heather W., Aliona, Cortney B., Andrea E., Jody, Kerri, Dawn, Monica R., Kelli, PepMoms, Emily S., Ruthanne, Sarah M., Frugalissa, Kristal, etc...

Just to name of few. The Lord has either allowed me to meet you or grow closer to you in friendship because of this crazy blog.

Many of you I may never meet in this life - face to face.

But one day we will

I praise Him today.

Because of His goodness.

Because of you.

If you have a few minutes, read this Psalm, close your eyes, bow your hearts in worship. And let's give thanks, together.

Love you all, deeply.

I am so thankful.

Be blessed today as you prepare your hearts and homes.

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord;
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
For the LORD is a great God,
and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth;
the heights of the mountains are his also.
The sea is his, for he made it,
and his hands formed the dry land.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down;
let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
For he is our God,
and we are the people of his pasture,
and the sheep of his hand.

Psalm 95:1-7

The Discipline of Thankfulness

"Contentment is a discipline we learn, not a feeling we experience." Kurt Bruner, Thriving Family Magazine.

Paul writes, "I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:11,12

Paul's secret? Gratitude.

He was thankful to the Lord. In prison - thankful. In chains - thankful. In comfort - thankful. In hunger - thankful.

Contentment is a discipline.

And it is born of a grateful heart.

Last night, Brent and I led the boys through a devotional on contentment and gratitude. Much of the material I gathered from a fantastic article in Thriving Family magazine.

As good as it was for the boys, it was even better for me. Oh, to be disciplined in contentment. Grow me here, Jesus.

Enjoy...

What is Gratitude?
Grant: Is it like an attitude?
Yes, it is an attitude of gratefulness.

What is Gratefulness?
Ethan: Saying thank you.
Yes! Saying "thank you" to God.

Read: Romans 11:36
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory for ever. Amen!



Everything we have and all we do is through God.

Ask: Why do we give thanks?

1. Giving thanks makes us rich. Being grateful for what we have helps us realize how richly blessed we are. God is so good to us. He provides for our every need.

2. Giving thanks helps us be content. Our sinful nature makes us want and want and want. Giving thanks helps us overcome our natural tendency to be this way.

3. Giving thanks brings us joy! Our hearts are glad when we express thankfulness to the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). Our focus turns to God and away from ourselves.

Family Memory Verse: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

What are examples of giving thanks in all circumstances? (Ethan: What are circumstances?)


We also read through and discussed Psalm 100:1-5 and Colossians 3:15-17.

After that, I lost 'em :)

But, other great verses to discuss this week are Philippians 4:4-12 and Hebrews 12:28

Before bed we played a gratefulness game suggested in the article. It is much like "I Spy." Begin by saying, "I am thankful for something in this room..." Offer clues until your child guesses the object (or person!). We were thankful for our van, our house, people in our family, etc. Ethan was particularly thankful for his Transformers calendar. Hilarious.

I see this will be an ongoing discussion at the Crenshaw home. The boy's natural tendency for more, more, more is very evident right now. They have an artificial sense of poverty as they focus on all the Christmas presents they want, but don't have.

I can relate.

I need this devotional as much as anyone else.

I'd love to hear what you are doing in your homes this week to prepare for Thanksgiving with your kids.

Love you all out there.

Thanks for putting up with my pajama pictures :)