On Boys Becoming Men

We were running later than we'd hoped.

Three paper plates full of hot dogs, grapes and pretzels had been gobbled up by my three hungry little birds.  Each boy sun-screened up and ready to head to the pool.

Our goal - leave at 11:20.

It was 11:10.

"Grant, would you help mommy collect the plates from the table?  And put the cold things inside the fridge?"

Speaking of birds....chirp chirp.  Silence.

My voice a bit sharper, "Grant?  Did you hear me?"

He was no longer in the kitchen.  Instead he was found belly down, plopped on the couch.  One arm dangling off of the side.  Face buried in a pillow.

A muffled voice, "Can't Ethan help?  I am so tired."

My blood now rolling to a slow boil.

"Grant, I need you to come help me, son.  You are not tired.  We are trying to leave for the pool.  In order to get out of the door, I need your cooperation."

No movement.

{Sassy mom fighting her way out now...}

"OK Grant.  The next time you are hungry and ask for a snack I will lay down on the couch and tell you I am much too tired.  I just can't do it.  And your dinner?  Don't I fix that all of the time?  Maybe I will be too tired later to fix that, too.  Isn't it Daddy's turn?  Or Ethan's?  Yes, it's Ethan's turn to fix dinner.  Fruit loops and trail mix for all."

A little grin. "Mom."

With a  huff, "Just go on upstairs, Grant.  Seriously.  I am bummed out about your attitude right now.  Just go on up.  I need to talk to Daddy about your unwillingness to serve."

Dragging his feet, he headed up the steps.  Still grumbling about his terrible fatigue.

I took my cup and held it up to the ice maker.  I glanced at Brent.

"I keep waiting on it to kick in."

Brent - "For what to kick in?"

"His desire to serve.  A little more maturity.  I keep waiting on his bend to be towards service and not passivity."

Brent stopped the running water and put down his plate.  His looked me square in the eye.  As serious as the summer day is long.

"It will never kick in."

"What?"

"It will never kick in.  Men are made.  It will take a childhood of doing hard thing after hard thing.  Training after training.  I was the same way.  I had to do so many hard things before I understood being a man.  I've worked with hundreds of college guys...and trust me...it doesn't just kick in."

It's true.  Men are made.  Not born.  Even the apostle Paul speaks of his own turning point.

When I was a child I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11

In the Greek the word for became is ginomai.  And specifically in this particular passage it is defined as "being made.  To prove oneself.  To arise.  To come to pass." 


And this isn't just a boy thing.  The word for man also refers to both genders.  There is a "becoming" for both male and female.  A process of being made mature.  Of proving of oneself mature.  An arising of the servant-heart. 
And maturity will, bless God, come to pass.


So parents be encouraged.  It may take 100 times of clearing plates from the table.  It may take 100 mowed lawns or 100 loads of laundry, but there is a "becoming" going on in the heart of your child.  Behind the grumbles and slouched shoulders, there is a man fighting his way to the surface.  Maturity is coming to pass.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Lord, forgive me for not operating in patience toward my sweet boy.  Give me mind to remember that he is still in training.  I believe, in faith, that you are molding his servant's heart.  That you are molding him into a man.  I pray that , every single day, I will shepherd his heart to yours.  Please allow all of our children to bear your image Jesus. Let them grow into men and women who do the hard thing, who pick up their cross daily, and follow hard after you.  In Jesus Name, Amen.


Can you share a time when you have seen this maturity come to pass through doing hard things?

Too Connected...We're Disconnected?

Tuesday night Brent and I tucked the boys into bed and began settling into our evening routine. I popped our usual bowls of popcorn and turned the TV on for The Biggest Loser (whoop whoop!). Brent needed to download a few songs on ITunes, so his laptop was up and running. He sat with his computer open on his lap, head phones in his ears and the Ipod nearby ready to load. I needed to catch up on a few emails during commercials so I set my Netbook on the end table beside my spot on the couch. My cell phone chimed informing me of a new text message, so I grabbed my phone and began replying back to my friend.

We heard footsteps on the stairs. Then a little voice, "Man, there's a lot of technology going on down here. So much light and electricity."

Grant. Wasn't he asleep?

I walked him back to bed, tucked him in once more then sat down at my place on the couch.

Just called out by my own son.

"Is this what my boys will remember of their parents? Mom and Dad on separate ends of the couch totally enthralled in technology?"


Is this the new "My Dad read the newspaper all the time" memory? Or the the "I don't remember my mom and dad ever kissing" memory? I have those memories from childhood. Do you?

Gosh, I love Brent. Oh. My. Word. Yes. We have a great marriage. Really. Tuesday evening wasn't a true representation of our relationship or our hearts for each other. Yet, try telling that to my eight-year-old who will only remember what he remembers. Amen?

That dern Internet. I have such a love/hate affair with it. Such a blessing yet such a distraction. It both sucks life and brings it.

What if Grant had walked downstairs to find his parents in the middle of the couch together, sharing a bowl of popcorn and talking. Or even seeing his mom and dad sharing a big blanket reading our own books quietly. Less noise. Less "light and electricity." What if turning off all of the technology let Brent and me make a little electricity of our own. Oh yes, I just typed that. Isn't it so TRUE?

Are we so connected that we are disconnected?

Disconnected from the Lord and each other?

Oh, how the Spirit has been talking about this. For sometime now. I find it funny God will finally grab my attention through an 8-year-old little boy.

Lately, I've been drawn to scripture about silence. To scriptures about drawing near. I am led to books about silence. And drawing near. I want to discipline myself in the art of quiet. And strengthen my ear's Holy listening.

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

During this season of Advent, I have thought much on "quiet". Can you imagine the 400 year period of God's silence? Geez, that must have been excruciating. But hindsight we all know that this period was a good thing. We know now that the redemptive sound of a baby's cry would soon break the silence. The gentle coos of our Savior, pleading us to come. To draw near.

Silence meant preparation. Silence increased the hunger of God's people.

Silence draws us nearer to our God.

I will do anything it takes to draw nearer to Him. Less noise. Less light. Less electricity. Even if it means shutting down this blog for a season (gasp)...I will do it. (Although I'm not excited about the idea of that. I love this thing. Too much, I know.)

So. There you have it. The rantings of a tech-junky. Confessions of the "too connected".

This Advent, let us pull away and unplug a bit. Silencing our lives - as if embracing the bundle of a new born babe. Let us draw near our hearts and stare and the face of the One who came to save us.

Let us all disconnect, so we can reconnect to the Light.

The Light of the World.

Flying Off The Handle

I had every intention of writing a different post today. I even started typing it.

But the Lord whispered in my soul...You're ignoring me.

So here the deal. What is it with me and anger lately?

A few nights ago, I went to visit a friend. We sat on her front porch watching our kids climb a Magnolia tree and play a game of kickball.

Something struck me about my friend's interaction with her children. She talked to her kids. Yes, when she needed to correct them, she talked to them. Notice the "to them."

I, on the other hand, talk at my children. My friend dialogued with her kids when giving instruction. I, however, monologue with my children. One-sided. "This is what you do. This is how you do it. Get it? Got it? Good.

I don't know if it is me being t.i.r.e.d. or maybe p.m.s. I could be just flat out crabby. Nevertheless, I've recently been short-tempered and flying off the handle at my boys.

Here's the deal with anger...

1. My boys will learn these same behaviors from me - yikes. (Proverbs 22:24)
2. I demonstrate foolishness. (Proverbs 14:29)
3. I stir up strife. (Proverbs 29:22)
4. I'm brought to shame. (Proverbs 25:8)
5. You shouldn't really be my friend. (Proverbs 22:24)
6. Anger just leads to more quarrels. (Proverbs 17:14)

I'm not writing this to be down on myself. I writing this to be honest with myself. And honest with you and with the Lord. I am in agreement that I can not display outbursts of anger at my children. They are little people. Not sounding boards. They deserve to be talked to...not talked at...and fussed at....and, even worse, yelled at.

I am in agreement with God and His Word that anger is for the birds.

Know this my beloved brothers (and sisters); let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:20

I might need a tattoo.

"Be quick to hear." My eight-year-old has said 1,000 times, "Mom, you didn't let me finish what I was saying."

He is right. I am too busy talking at him. Ugh.

Lord Jesus, your Holy Spirit lives within me. You are my Helper (John 14:26). Help me operate in self-control. I can do anything with You. Nothing is too difficult.

Here are the benefits of controlling my anger:

1. I have great understanding (Proverbs 14:29)
2. I can quiet contention - nice. (Proverbs 15:18)
3. Ceasing from anger is honored (Proverbs 20:3)
4. I will inherit the earth - no kidding. There is blessing in obedience. Think about Joseph. His brothers threw him under the bus, selling him into slavery, but his lack of anger led him to prosperity for himself and an entire nation. (Psalm 37:9, Gen 45, 50:15-21).

Thanks for listening as I process.

Do you relate to this in anyway?

More verses I need on the tablet of my heart... Have a blessed day.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

"Mom, Is God Really Real?" II

As Grant and I sat at the kitchen table, more and more questions came. Great questions. (Ahem, hard questions):

Grant: "How do we know that God is real? I've never seen Him."

"You know, God is so glorious, so holy and perfect that the Bible says we can not look at him with these eyes and live. His Glory is too bright! But, when Jesus came to earth he told the people..."Whoever has seen me has seen the Father." (John 14:9) He also says that He and the Father are One (John 10:30). Jesus was all man. But he was all God, too. Is that confusing?"

"Not really. But not everybody got to see Jesus. I didn't get to see him. What about that?"

"Well look here..." We lean in towards my Bible, Grant running his little finger along the words, "Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me." (John 14:11) We must believe. Faith is believing in what we can't see (2 Corinthians 5:7). Faith is what pleases God so much. (Hebrews 11:6)."

I continue, "We can look all around us and see God, as well. You know mommy's favorite tree in the front yard?"

"Yeah."



"Look at those big, beautiful, white cherry blossoms. Think about all of the tiny, little details of each pedal. We can look at God's creation and see Him. His beauty. His majesty. His power."



I turn to look at our back yard. A perfect Spring day.

"Look Grant. This didn't just happen! God did all of this. For his Glory. So we can know Him. The Bible says that no one is without excuse. Let me show you..."

We turned to Romans 1 and read:

For the truth about God is known to [men] instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God. Romans 1:19-20

"God wants everyone to know Him. And even if people say "Well, I can't see God so I can't believe in Him," then that isn't true. The Bible says we instinctively know him. Deep down in our hearts, everyone must know that God exists. Even if they don't admit it."

I then ask, "Can you see the wind?"

"No."

"Well, the wind is like the Spirit of God...."

"Oh, waaaiiiittt! I get it. We can't see the wind. But we can see what it does. It moves things and blows things around. We know it's there, even though we can't see where it is."

"Bingo. The wind is kind of like God's Holy Spirit. He lives in us. He moves in us. He is here with us. We just can't see Him with our physical eyes. But we know He is here, don't we! We know - by faith."

"So if someone, like at school, says, I can't see God. I can tell him the wind story, right?"

"You sure can."

(Sweet boy.)

*****************************************************************
Have a fabulous weekend...

"Mom, Is God Really Real?"

Yesterday afternoon, Grant stopped me as I was carrying a basket of laundry down the steps.

"Hey Mom, there is something I've been thinking about."

I was past the playroom, so I turned around and set my basket down at the top of the steps.

"What is it, buddy?"

He stood in front of the entertainment center, playing Super Mario Brothers - "I keep wandering, Is God really real? I mean, what if all the people who aren't Christians are right?"

*Pause*

*Pick jaw off floor*

Did he just really ask me that? While playing Wii?

"Well. Those are really good questions. I want to talk to you more about it. But not when you are playing Wii."

He snickered, "Yeah. OK."

I went down stairs and sent a text to Brent. "Call me when your meeting is over."

I stood over my sink snapping beans, "God, this is big. He is growing up and thinking more for himself. I want to answer correctly and represent you well. I need help. Speak through me, Lord."



Immediately, God confirmed:

Take him to My Word.

"Yes, Sir."

The Lord brought several passages to my mind. Most pressing on my heart was Luke 8:4-15. The parable of the sower.

Maybe it was the beans.

I felt very impressed by the Holy Spirit to pray protection over all the seed sown into Grant's little heart.

"Lord, do not allow the enemy to steal Your Word from his heart (v. 12), I pray the roots of your Word would run deep (v.13) and that the cares of this world would never stunt his growth (v.14). Lord, in faith I say, his heart is good soil. Grant hears the Word and holds fast to it. His heart is honest and good. He bears fruit with patience. (v.15)"

Would you take a minute to pray this over your child?

When Brent called back and we talked about a few things I might want to mention.

At dinner, Grant came down to the table.

Rather nonchalantly, "O.K. Tell me again...what questions did you have earlier?"

Those big brown eyes looking up to me, "Well, I can't help but think, what if God isn't real. What about all the people who don't believe in Him? What if they are right and we are wrong?"

I took time to encourage him. Such big thinking for a little guy. He is only seven.

With one hand on my Bible, I said, "God gives us every answer. He tells us everything we need to know in His Word."

Grant starts, "Well, sometimes I think" ... and he starts to cry. ... "what if the Bible isn't true, either."

"Do you think it's true?"

"I do think its true. But what if I'm wrong?"

"Well, You're not. The Bible says that "All Scripture is God‑breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. "2 Timothy 3:16. God wrote His Word to us. Do you remember when you asked Jesus into your heart?"

"Yes."

"And who came to live in you?"

"God. Well, actually the Holy Spirit. Same thing."

"Yes. And the Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit testifies (or tells us) that He is true. That His Word is true. (1 John 5:6)

Sometimes believing in God is hard to put into words, isn't it? Its something that we just know. That's because God lives in us. He confirms it in our heart."

Grant and I talked for over an hour. He asked several amazing questions:

"How can God make us Christians but not everybody? What about the non- Christians?"
"Why would God create an angel if He knew he would eventually be the Devil?"
"Why would Adam and Eve sin if they had it so good?"
"What is hell like?"
"How do I tell people about Jesus?"
"What does it mean to be tempted by the Devil?"
"Why would God make us if He knew we would sin?"
"How do we know if God is real? I've never seen Him."

Over and hour to say the least.

I want to share all that we talked about. But there is no way I could do it in one post. Stay tuned.

And pray for my little Grant. Who is obviously not so little anymore.

He is growing and such an eager learner!

I am learning so much, too. I see my need for God's imparted wisdom. I can't answer these on my own. No way.

Love to you all.

Random Conversation

Tuesday morning, little Grant and I were driving home from Kentucky. It was so good to have that time with just him. Having three boys, alone time is rare.

Lunch was approaching and the "golden arches" continued to grace exit signs. Mile and mile again. "Mom, can we stop? Please? I am starving."

Confession - I am a fast food snob. If it ain't Chick-fil-a then I ain't stoppin'. But remember, I just had minor surgery on my jaw. Food was way down on my priority list.

Finally, I exited and pulled thru at McDonald's. And Grant was ecstatic.

One hamburger Happy Meal for a boy, an orange Hi-C and an Iron Man toy later, we hit the road.

With his mouth full of burger Grant said, "This is the third best day of my life."

*Smile* "Really?! What were the first two?"

"The first was the day I asked Jesus into my heart. The second was the day I learned to tie my shoes. And the third is today."

Priceless.

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." - Angela Schwindt

I'd love to hear a random quote or sweet moment you've had lately.

Peek in on other Caffeinated Randomness.

Happy Friday!

Happy Birthday to the Improbable Baby

The doctor looked me square in the eyes and said, "Even if you were able to conceive, which is not probable, you wouldn't be able to carry a baby full term. There would be major complications."

With uncontrollable sobs, I shook his hand, and all but lifeless, left that office.

And never went back.

I was young in my faith, but wise enough to know that his report was not the Lord's. And I was not to receive it.

Respect it. Yes.

Receive it. No.

I won't go into all that I had wrong with me. But there was enough wrong for that doctor to point me towards the path of infertility.

But I'm a stubborn little thing. And I wasn't budging. In faith, I wasn't going down that road.

The body of Christ is so good to rise up around the infertile. They really are. It was a dark time. Dark. And prayer was not my forte. I was too sad to pray.

But I had people. People of the faith, stepping into the gap. Interceding on my behalf.

All this happened prior to marriage. I was engaged to Brent. We were facing our lives together and kicking it all off with the "you may never have kids" news.
Oh, I tear up on the remembrance.

This was the first time in my walk with the Lord that someone had said to me, "We are going to believe the report of the Lord. And His report for you is good. His report brings you life. Not death."

This doctor's report brought death. Death to my faith. Death to my spirit. Death to my dream.

I vividly recall the day I read the report of the Lord. I was an intern teaching English at Maryville High School. Twenty-three. It was my planning block. I pulled out my Bible and it literally fell open to Psalm 113. I had never read it before. And the markings in it today are the original markings from this moment.

Praise the Lord.

Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord.

Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.

Psalm 113:1-3,7,9

This was His report to me. And I knew it.

But it was a hard one to believe for it rebelled against everything I had been told. It took a lot of faith to maintain this report.

It goes without saying that I found a new doctor. And, this too, was a God thing. She was the "one" everybody told me I should see, but she wasn't accepting new patients. I can't even remember how the Lord worked that one out. But He did.

She did an examination. Took blood. Looked at charts.

Then looked me square in the eyes and said, "I will deliver your babies. You just wait and see."

Life.

Today, I celebrate the seven-year-old son I was never supposed to have. The boy I shouldn't have been able to carry. The improbable baby.

Today, I celebrate the Lord's report. I celebrate the faithful who interceded. I celebrate the doctor who spoke life.

Today, I recognize that these babies of mine are not mine, at all. They are the Lord's.

On loan for a while. An entrusting to me.

Thank you, Lord, for Grant. Thank you that He is a picture of your healing and your grace.

A tangible manifest.

Glory.

Happy Birthday, Grant.

Moving to Yellow

Monday afternoon I went to pick up Grant from school. There is a pick up line, so I could see him from a distance. Most days, he is swinging his back pack, waving at me and being silly with his friends.

Not this day.

He stood still, looked toward the van and sheepishly held up his hand to wave. Uh oh. Something is wrong. It was my turn, so I pulled closer and I could tell he was about to cry.

"What's wrong, Buddy?" No response. His face turned red and tears bubbled over. I rolled down the window to talk with his teacher.

"He got on yellow today, Mom."

Now, little Grant is a pleaser, pleaser, pleaser and prides himself in the fact that in all his school days (he's in kindergarten) he has never had his card moved off of green. Heaven forbid it.

She continued, "He was playing pretend bow and arrow and when we were ready to move on, he continued playing. Not a big deal. But it was disruptive."
"So what happens now?" I asked.
With a big smile and a laugh she replied, "He goes back to green tomorrow. Just like with Jesus. We always start back with green!"

I love this woman. We had a good laugh over how she phrased it, but so true! I love it. What a teaching opportunity for little Grant. What a great reminder for me.

In Christ, we are New. Clean. Washed. If you recall from yesterday, we talked about the water that Jesus gives. The meaning for water was spirit...new birth: a setting aside of all that the believer was according to the flesh. Christ sets aside all that we were. Did you hear that. ALL THAT YOU WERE. Forgotten. Stop living there. He moves our card, by grace, to green.

Christ says, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9. Hear my heart when I say this, Grant needed to be knocked off of his proud pedestool of never having his card moved. He doesn't need God on green. He needs him on yellow. We need God in our weakness. Some of my richest times with the Lord and biggest spiritual growth spurts have occurred in my darkest hours. If you ask me to name the one time I felt closest to God I would tell you it was when my mother was sick with cancer. It is in those dark hours that I know that I know that I know his grace is sufficient for me.

Paul says, "therefore, I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 1 Corinthians 12:9b-10. There is no gray area here. We are either in our own power or in Christ's power. I want the latter. I want to embrace and delight in my weaknesses. Lord knows I have plenty. It is in my imperfections that I am perfect. What a paradox.

Thank you Lord for sufficent grace. Thank you that your power that rests on me. Today, Lord, I delight in my weaknesses.

For it is on yellow that I am strong.

Be blessed.